tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314136952024-03-13T09:24:29.541-07:00Oh, The Humanity!The Irregular Musings of Herbert MorrisonHerbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.comBlogger253125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-12873336169248486232011-09-27T11:40:00.000-07:002011-09-27T11:40:43.985-07:00Support The Next Three Jason Scott Documentaries!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-73776391666960285092011-09-07T17:02:00.000-07:002011-09-07T17:03:00.664-07:00Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXXII<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
1:45 p.m. — A caller from Nevada City Highway and Brunswick Road reported people drinking Coors Light. They agreed to move on.<br /><br />[Coors Light will not be tolerated here!]<br /><br />9:07 a.m. — A caller from the 18000 block of Starduster Lane reported a friend was refusing to return a weed trimmer.<br /><br />[Some friend! The trials of domestic life.]<br /><br />4:02 p.m. — A woman reported the sale of Halloween costumes at Kmart that closely resemble a Sheriff's deputy uniform.<br /><br />[Does that say something about KMart or the uniform choices of the Sheriff's department?]<br /><br />4:53 p.m. — A caller from the 100 block of Neal Street reported a man in a vehicle with a bong. He had a prescription.<br /><br />[To use while in the car? Does driving make him stressed?]<br /><br />7:47 p.m. — A caller from the 10000 block of Melody Road reported possible new illegal vehicle dismantling activity.<br /><br />[Are they dismantling illegal vehicles, or illegally dismantling vehicles?]<br /><br />12:37 p.m. — A caller from the 200 block of South School Street reported someone continues to set up a chair and computer in a carport.<br /><br />[The scourge of carport computing continue to threaten.]<br /><br />4:32 p.m. — A caller from the 200 block of Dorsey Drive reported a drunken man took a syringe and left, carrying a beer.<br /><br />[Great ambiguity! Did he steal the beer as well, or was that his to start with?]<br /><br />12:37 a.m. — A caller from the 10000 block of Leecrest Court reported three people with guns were trying to break into a residence. The caller was found to have been hallucinating due to medications.<br /><br />[A hallucination oddly specific in its ability to provoke a police response.]<br /><br />6:01 p.m. — A woman from Ridge Road reported hearing a gunshot from the entrance to Mautino Park. Another caller reported hearing an explosion at Mautino Park. The Fire Department investigated and found they were not needed. Public Works was advised to check out the nearby water plant.<br /><br />[Now I want to know what goes on at the water plant.]<br /><br />1:36 a.m. — A man from the 800 block of East Main Street reported a girl asked to use his telephone to call her parents but could not reach them. She left, possibly with a male on a bike with her. Police found the girl and arrested her. <br /><br />[Because we cannot allow that sort of thing to go on... what did she do again?]<br />
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<br />Source: The Union (<a href="http://www.theunion.com/">http://www.theunion.com/</a>)<br />
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Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-66479896871009742912011-08-31T08:45:00.000-07:002011-08-31T08:48:11.301-07:00Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXXI4:11 p.m. — A caller from the 300 block of Crown Point Circle reported a van speeding, squealing its tires and doing doughnuts around kids on bikes. The driver was admonished.
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<br />[But was he abashed?]
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<br />11:45 p.m. — A caller from the 100 block of King Court reported a physical fight involving three drunken people. One was leaving for the night.
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<br />[And the other two were going to keep fighting?]
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<br />1:49 a.m. — A caller from the 200 block of South Auburn Street reported juveniles yelling. Four adults were found to have been playing tag.
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<br />[No alcohol involved with that I'm sure!]
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<br />9:44 a.m. — A woman from the 13000 block of Bitney Springs Road reported resenting a helicopter flying over her residence for 30 minutes.
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<br />[A burning resentment no doubt, to get her to call the police about it.]
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<br />8:33 p.m. — A woman from the 200 block of Richardson Street reported a woman possibly stole money, debit cards and jewelry and might have poisoned her protein drinks.
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<br />[Or any one of the above! It could have happened.]
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<br />8:46 p.m. — A woman from Julia Ranch Road reported a neighbor let their wolf out.
<br />
<br />[I find it more disturbing that they have a wolf.]
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<br />7:34 p.m. — A caller from the 11000 block of Cedar Ridge Drive reported an ongoing issue with seven barking dogs.
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<br />[There is a Christmas carol in that somewhere...]
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<br />7:12 p.m. — A caller from the 11000 block of Lower Circle Drive reported hearing two gunshots, which were found to have been from a cap gun.
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<br />[This one makes you wonder about the regular "shots fired" reports that people call in to the GVPD.]
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<br />10 a.m. — A woman from the 200 block of Joerschke Drive reported the theft of $40 from her secret hiding spot.
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<br />[But she can't tell you where it is, because it is secret.]
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<br />10:58 a.m. — A caller from the 1000 block of Sutton Way reported a parent came in the store and then left three children unattended, aged 8, 7 and 1. The parent was contacted and picked up the children.
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<br />[IKEA offers day care. Stores in Grass Valley... not so much.]
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<br />12:51 a.m. — A caller from South Auburn Street reported loud, belligerent people. A woman was arrested on suspicion of resisting arrest.
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<br />[I laugh whenever resisting arrest is the only charge listed, and suspicion thereof is even better.]
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<br />8:54 p.m. — A caller from the 16000 block of Annie Drive reported three young men dressed in black suits who came to the door, saying they were missionaries.
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<br />[Look for the bicycles. It is the only sure way to tell.]
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<br />7:30 p.m. — A caller from West Main Street reported a man skateboarding down the street.
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<br />[But your little sticker says that it is not a crime!]
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<br />3:15 p.m. — A woman from the 13000 block of Hobart Lane reported her son was tearing up her residence and calling her names. He said she was a hoarder and he was trying to clean up the residence. Code Enforcement was to handle the situation.
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<br />[I see this situation happening with my mother-in-law in the not too distant future...]
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<br />3:30 a.m. — A caller from the 200 block of Reward Street reported a dumpster fire. It was found to be a vehicle that had been reported stolen out of Pittsburg.
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<br />[But was it on fire? Or was the first report completely bogus?]
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<br />Source: The Union (<a href="http://www.theunion.com/">http://www.theunion.com/</a>)
<br />Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-32230917369822292302011-08-25T16:14:00.000-07:002011-08-25T16:15:18.084-07:00Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXX8:16 a.m. — A woman from the 300 block of Pleasant Street reported a man at her window, asking if she wants money and telling her to keep her kids quiet.
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<br />[How much money was he offering?]
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<br />8:35 a.m. — A caller from the 200 block of Dorsey Drive reported a threat had been carved into a vehicle door.
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<br />[That is a pretty determined threat]
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<br />9:12 a.m. — A caller from Glen Jones Park reported three drunken men with 12 to 15 cans of Bud Light. They were admonished to clean up and move on.
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<br />[Never too early to get started]
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<br />4:34 p.m. — A caller from a business in the 700 block of Maltman Drive reported a man bought items with one check and then returned and bought more items with a check under a different name.
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<br />[Some criminals have no patience at all]
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<br />5:45 p.m. — A caller from the 100 block of McKnight Way reported a shirtless man speaking to himself and making obscene gestures. He was reminded of proper social manners.
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<br />[Yeah, at least put a shirt on if you're going to do that!]
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<br />10:01 a.m. — A woman from Lime Kiln Road reported she was “leaking.” No response was needed, the woman was getting more medication.
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<br />[Something to stop the flow of the leak I presume]
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<br />5:44 p.m. — A caller from Mill Street reported a man drinking a Coors while driving.
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<br />[I can see his defense already. "Coors? That is hardly beer at all!"]
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<br />9:48 a.m. — A caller from the 10000 block of Mountain Rose Road reported a woman screaming. She was found to have been yelling at her dogs to stay away from her donkeys.
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<br />[Life in the country]
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<br />Source: The Union (<a href="http://www.theunion.com/">http://www.theunion.com/</a>)
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<br />Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-11211173241511975882011-08-25T15:42:00.000-07:002011-08-25T15:46:43.633-07:00The Critter<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> <w:word11kerningpairs/> 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priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">Florida Power and Light:</span> <p style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);" class="MsoNormal"><b>Outage reported: </b>08/24/11 01:17 PM</p><p style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);" class="MsoNormal"><b>Estimated time of restoration: </b>08/24/11 04:45 PM</p><p style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);" class="MsoNormal"><b>Customers affected: </b>15</p><p style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);" class="MsoNormal"><b>Status: </b>We have completed our initial investigation of your power outage and determined that additional resources are necessary to restore your power. We will continue to work until the power is back on.</p><p style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);" class="MsoNormal"><b>Cause: </b><b><u>A small animal touched our power lines</u></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZwPbTeF15zc/TlbQQxnl31I/AAAAAAAAAEM/LsEgMRoUHm4/s1600/PoleCritter.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 224px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZwPbTeF15zc/TlbQQxnl31I/AAAAAAAAAEM/LsEgMRoUHm4/s320/PoleCritter.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5644928169571376978" border="0" /></a></p> <p style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);" class="MsoNormal"><b>Last updated: </b><span style="color: rgb(31, 73, 125);">08/24/2011 03:09 PM</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#1F497D;">
<br /></span></p> Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-20156724537431421772010-04-02T10:28:00.000-07:002010-04-02T10:50:38.257-07:00Father Gabriele Amorth - Professional ExorcistI saw this short quote over at <a href="http://dbmt.blogspot.com/2010/04/b-log-o-my-heart.html">Merle Kessler's blog</a>:<br /><blockquote>Noted Italian exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth, commented this week that the recent defamatory reporting on Pope Benedict XVI, especially by the New York Times, was ‘prompted by the devil.</blockquote>And my first thought was along the lines of, "When you have a hammer, all your problems begin to look like nails."<br /><br />But then I went over to Wikipedia to see if Father Amorth had an entry. I mean, it says right in the quote that he is noted, so I figured that might make him, in Wikipedia terms, notable and thus worthy of an entry.<br /><br />Sure enough, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabriele_Amorth">there is an entry about him</a>. But that quote above hardly does him justice. The entry is rich with his beliefs.<br /><br />For example, his favorite movie? The Exorcist! <br /><br />Really. Aside from the over-the-top special effects, he thinks people should see the movie so people knows what he does.<br /><br />Number of exorcisms? 70,000! The man is, literally, a holy terror, exorcising, on average, 8 times a day!<br /><br />Leading cause of demonic possession?<br /><blockquote>People have lost the Faith, and superstition, magic, Satanism, or Ouija boards have taken its place, which then open all the doors to the presence of demons.</blockquote>Most common problem after demonic possession? Curses. <br /><br />Leading cause of curses?<br /><blockquote>A curse can originate from such things as maledictions by close relatives, a habit of blaspheming, membership in Freemasonry, spiritic or magic practices, and so on.</blockquote>Think about that!<br /><br />Pet peeve? The new exorcism rites. He says they are:<br /><blockquote>A blunt weapon.... Efficacious prayers, prayers that had been in existence for twelve centuries, were suppressed and replaced by new ineffective prayers</blockquote>The man is, if nothing else, hard core.Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-88097122936530872822010-02-23T16:28:00.000-08:002010-02-23T16:30:31.344-08:00Renewing My LicenseI had to go to the DMV this morning to renew my license. Picture, fingerprint, money and I was done. It just took 90 minutes.<br /><br />The time was allocated as follows:<br /><ul><li> Waiting to be called: 50 minutes (Under the G, 46. Oh, that's me!)</li><li> Waiting to get my picture taken: 20 minutes</li><li> Getting out of a parking lot filled with people who should not be allowed to drive: 10 minutes</li><li> Taking the eye test, validating my information: 7 minutes</li><li> Getting my picture actually taken: 2 minutes</li><li> Parking when I arrived: 1 minute</li></ul>I got to the DMV at 5 after 8am. This put me behind the overachievers and people who line up at 3am in front of Target on the day after Thanksgiving. They were all in there, numbers in hand. My number, which was G046, seemed rather depressing since they were on G002 when I got it. (They have letters for categories, A-J, and as far as I could determine, G was for people with easy renewal transactions.)<br /><br />Then, about the time I got called, the dregs of humanity started in through the front door. Fortunately, I was ahead of that wave, so while I waited 20 minutes to get my picture taken, when I walked out I would have guessed that the line for pictures was at least 45 minutes long... probably longer given how many of those people seemed unlikely to be able to handle tasks like standing with their toes on a line drawn on the floor in order to have their picture taken.<br /><br />Still, I've been through the system, I was pleasant to everybody behind the counter, and I could have passed the eye test from a good 20 feet back from where I actually had to take it. I'm free to be an idiot for a few more years.Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-28120930153163824022010-01-26T07:42:00.000-08:002010-01-26T07:44:34.542-08:00Signs of the Times - 2I got my W2 tax form from my company today.<br /><br />As part of the pre-printed form there were ads. Ads for tax preparation, of course, but ads.<br /><br />So it has come to this, ads on with my tax forms.<br /><br />I just wonder who got the revenue, my company or ADP who does the payroll processing.Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-62251655431155607102009-10-27T08:38:00.000-07:002009-10-27T08:45:42.361-07:00Sign of the TimesTraditionally, as a manager with a group that currently consists of 12 direct reports, one of my yearly performance goals has been employee retention.<br /><br />I was measured as a manager by how few people left my organization for other opportunities.<br /><br />Even through the last economic downturn it was recognized that keeping key people was important to the ongoing operation of the business.<br /><br />Then we were acquired last year by a very large corporation, of which software development in general, and my part of the development in particular, were such tiny parts of the overall revenue stream as to be invisible on the balance sheet.<br /><br />For this year, retention disappeared from my goals.<br /><br />I was just given my goals for next year. I now have an attrition goal. <br /><br />I will now be measured as a manager by how well I can drive a specific number of people to pursue opportunities elsewhere.<br /><br />I suppose that takes the pressure off of my worries about morale in the software development group.Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-81699189727767614132009-09-25T12:56:00.000-07:002009-09-25T12:58:46.941-07:00Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXIX<span style="font-weight: bold;">2:05 a.m.</span> - A man from the 300 block of South Church Street reported his roommate had been drinking and was "disillusioned." He said the roommate believed he doesn’t exist and was in his room with a machete.<br /><br />[So we're primarily concerned with the existence of the machete then?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:22 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 14000 block of Nutmeg Court reported an ex-employee embezzled a vehicle.<br /><br />[I think when they end up with a vehicle, it ceases to be embezzlement and moves more into fraud and theft.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:12 p.m. </span>- A caller from the 14000 block of Pleasant Valley Road reported a Volkswagen Beetle was spinning doughnuts in a field.<br /><br />[I'm going to guess it was one of the "new" Beetles and not your classic pre-1975 VW.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7:48 a.m.</span> - A caller reported a large amount of bullets had been spilled onto the roadway at Charles Drive and Grass Valley Avenue.<br /><br />[Ammunition spills are pretty rare.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:06 a.m.</span> - A caller from the 12900 block of Amber Street said a neighbor was outside screaming that he was going to burn down houses and kill everyone. The neighbor's wife was at the caller's residence. Responding deputies restored the peace.<br /><br />[What gets a man that riled up at 10 in the morning? I can't get that worked up until at least mid-afternoon most days.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:24 p.m.</span> - A man from the 12700 block of Brunswick Road said someone put on Craig's List that he was having an estate sale Sunday and he did not place the item on the Internet.<br /><br />[The classic "and what do you want the police to do about it?" situation.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:49 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 11700 block of Upper Circle Drive reported a golf cart went by his residence and a person was throwing lit matches out of it. The caller said he reviewed his surveillance tapes and recognized one of the people in the golf cart.<br /><br />[This seems amusing, unless you live in Grass Valley and it is fire season. I was surprised to not see an additional report about teens stealing golf carts to joy ride again.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:58 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 14000 block of Torrey Pines Drive reported a golf cart had rolled over. A person was arrested on unknown charges.<br /><br />[But no theft report.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:31 a.m.</span> - A caller from the 100 block of Cornish Lane reported a large tool theft at the residence the prior evening. The caller said a neighbor heard a vehicle around the home between 10 and 11 p.m. Officers took a report for theft.<br /><br />[And how large of a tool did they take? Ambiguity, a humor essential. Plus there is potential sexual innuendo.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3:45 p.m.</span> - A person in the lobby of the police station reported a possible fraud by AT&T. The person was urged to contact AT&T to clarify the charges on their bill.<br /><br />[I bet this person is even now complaining how the police are totally in the pocket of the phone company.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">12:58 a.m.</span> - A caller from Nevada City Highway reported seeing a mountain lion. No mountain lion was spotted, but a dog the color of a mountain lion was seen.<br /><br />[A big dog presumably.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:45 a.m.</span> - A caller from the 11000 block of Alta Sierra Drive reported a man sitting in a vehicle for several hours. He was out of gas.<br /><br />[And hadn't realized it? Being out of gas is a problem solved rather easily, but you have to leave the vehicle.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">11:55 a.m.</span> - A woman from the 13000 block of Wood Rose Way reported a toddler loitering by the mailboxes the day before.<br /><br />[Can a toddler actually loiter in a legal sense?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:42 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 13000 block of Blank Court reported people were firing shots over a wheelbarrow. A person threatened to shoot the caller earlier in the evening over the wheelbarrow. The suspect was leaving in an SUV with the wheelbarrow on top. The caller agreed to put his gun away and would wait for a deputy. Neither party wanted to be "the victim."<br /><br />[I hope that wheelbarrow was worth it.]<br /><br />Source: The Union (<a href="http://www.theunion.com/">http://www.theunion.com/</a>)Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-88156756573641864942009-08-11T09:56:00.000-07:002009-08-11T09:58:38.454-07:00Fake Steve Returns!Now that Fake Steve has his new iLiver installed and running, <a href="http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/">The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs</a> is active again and telling the truth about Apple, its competitors, and the valley in general.<br /><br />Welcome back Steve!Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-90237573484193782422009-07-15T12:03:00.000-07:002009-07-15T12:20:53.047-07:00Dame Edna Reads Shakespeare's Greatest SonnetsI have a subscription with Audible.com for audio books. With my subscription I can download any two audio books a month.<br /><br />After nine years I have fished all the gems out of their catalog and now have to scan the new releases every month. Fortunately they have quite a few new releases on a regular basis.<br /><br />To facilitate search the list, I subscribe to their new releases RSS feed which allows me to go through the titles and a brief description.<br /><br />My eye caught and read one of the titles as, "Dame Edna Reads Shakespeare's Greatest Sonnets." As a concept, that made my mind stumble and I had to go back and read the full entry.<br /><br />At which point I read the title correctly as, "<a href="http://www.audible.com/adbl/entry/offers/productPromo2.jsp?BV_UseBVCookie=Yes&productID=BK_SLND_000179">Dame Edith Evans Reads Shakespeare's Greatest Sonnets</a>," and was slightly disappointed.<br /><br />Not that I am down on <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dame_Edith_Evans">Dame EE</a>, but she was reading Shakespeare back when <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaiser_wilhelm_ii">Kaiser Wilhelm II</a> looked like he still had a long and glorious reign ahead of him. Plus the picture they chose to represent her has more than a bit of the "air of dried prune" about it.<br /><br />All of which brought me around to thinking that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dame_edna">Dame Edna</a> reading Shakespeare might not be such a bad idea after all.Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-26685292998282548842009-07-11T17:16:00.000-07:002009-07-11T17:22:11.558-07:00United Breaks GuitarsThe tale of a musician who has a bone to pick with United Airlines. They broke his guitar and gave him the run-around, so he promised their rep that he would write three songs and create videos for them about his experience. This song is the first.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="295"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5YGc4zOqozo&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5YGc4zOqozo&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="295"></embed></object><br /><br />The <a href="http://www.davecarrollmusic.com/story/united-breaks-guitars/">full story is available here</a>.Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-36922329111930030472009-07-09T13:02:00.000-07:002009-07-09T13:21:13.450-07:00The French: Arrogant, Cheap, but Nicely DressedAt least when they leave France, according to a <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSTRE56829Z20090709">recent survey</a> of 4,500 hotel owners across the world.<br /><br />The French, said at least one self-proclaimed expert on the subject, find their country so wonderful that they rarely leave, thus they never bother with foreign languages and customs. So leaving France causes them to become stressed, making them seem arrogant and demanding.<br /><br />I guess I could buy that for most of the country, though I suspect a certain percentage of the population of Paris must be stressed even within France.<br /><br />Anyway, I am jumping on this excuse. Living in California, which must be comparable in wonder to France given how many people keep showing up here uninvited, explains my arrogance, cheapness, and tendency to add avocados to just about everything. <br /><br />It certainly explains my not being well dressed.Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-30215860632262247452009-05-26T13:03:00.000-07:002009-05-26T13:04:57.441-07:00That Old Email JokeWe've all heard the one about the IT department sending out an email to all users announcing that the email server is down.<br /><br />I've not only heard it, I've lived it. Some times IT has an excuse. We had an email from them recently that announce that email access at our Sunnyvale office was down. That at least informed people why we're not responding. Of course, the email itself seemed directed at the Sunnyvale staff, but maybe IT thinks that joke is funny still.<br /><br />But today my hosting service one-upped IT. They changed the default settings for email access and followed it up with an email explaining how to adjust your settings to get your email.<br /><br />Seriously, I checked the times. They did the change and then they sent the email.<br /><br />Fortunately (?) my hosting service has screwed up email in the past, so I have it set to forward all email to another address that I can access, just in case. So I went and found the email, made the updates, and everything was fine. But if I had not had that I could have used the web mail service they offer. That service is somewhat low key however and I only knew about it because of past screw ups by the hosting company.<br /><br />So I am going to bet that the support team at my hosting service has quite a busy day today. Well, I bet the phone guys did. The email guys probably had a pretty quiet morning.Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-61073903231170980802009-04-03T15:19:00.000-07:002011-08-25T15:54:40.918-07:00Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXVIII<span style="font-weight: bold;">2:44 p.m.</span> - A woman from the 15000 block of Washington Road reported she paid a man to do yard work, and now one of her plants is missing. He frequently stands at the front of her property and yells obscenities at her.
<br />
<br />[I can see why you hired him. I mean, if he's already going to be there yelling obscenities, you might as well put him to work.]
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">11:26 a.m.</span> - A caller from the 10000 block of Rancheria Court reported someone was dismantling a metal building to steal it.
<br />
<br />[That sounds perfectly brazen! I wonder how big of a building we're talking about?]
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<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:52 a.m.</span> - A man from the 10000 block of Boulder Street reported he "wants the people out of his house."
<br />
<br />[On how many holidays have I uttered those very words? But I've never dialed 911 to do anything about it.]
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> 2:09 p.m.</span> - A caller from the hospital reported a man was in the emergency room, saying he was going to shoot everyone if he didn't receive medical attention. He did not have a gun. The man was arrested at 5:56 p.m. on suspicion of violating parole.
<br />
<br />[That seems like quite a long time to go from threatening to kill people to actually being arrested.]
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:21 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 700 block of Freeman Lane reported a man in a white four-door vehicle kept ducking down when someone drove by. A woman was cited and released on suspicion of having an open container while driving, possessing fireworks and possessing a tear gas container after being stopped on Freeman Lane.
<br />
<br />[She had a busy night planned I guess.]
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">12:48 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 13000 block of Tervetuloa Lane reported an argument with the neighbors about peacocks running loose. The neighbor said the initial caller verbally assaulted her and the other party's donkeys are running around and her peacocks have nothing to do with it.
<br />
<br />[Issues that big city police departments rarely face.]
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<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> 2:13 p.m.</span> - A caller from eastbound Highway 20 at the Washington overlook reported finding six to seven bags of marijuana on the south side of the roadway. Upon contact, law enforcement determined the material was "leftover shake."
<br />
<br />[At first I thought this referred to roofing material, but Google informs me that "shake" is "The cruddy end bits of a large bag of weed." That was my educational moment for the day.]
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<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> 1:16 p.m.</span> - A caller in the 200 block of Rockwood Drive reported a maroon sedan was parked near the person's residence, and people were trying to sell it.
<br />
<br />[They were trying to sell it? Maybe I'm not clear on what the police are supposed to do here.]
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<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:58 a.m.</span> - A caller on the 200 block of Dorsey Drive reported a children's video was playing in an upstairs apartment. The caller said the song continued to play unabated. The caller was advised to call the apartment management.
<br />
<br />[How can you determine, at that hour, that you are not actually in hell?]
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> 7:30 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 15000 block of Sunny Hill reported the neighbor's television was very loud. The caller said the neighbor has a scanner and will turn down her TV if she hears the call.
<br />
<br />[I like that sort of efficiency.]
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">12:23 p.m.</span> - A man from the 18000 block of Message Place reported an ongoing issue with his neighbor yelling and screaming obscenities at him. He said he also has vehicles trespassing on his property. The neighbor said he was upset that the man was raising llamas on the property. The neighbor admitted yelling at the man, including calling the llamas (expletive) camels. They were advised to resolve the issue civilly.
<br />
<br />[I am going to bet alcohol was somehow involved as well.]
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:24 p.m.</span> - An elderly woman from Swallow Court called 911 and wanted to know if 911 was the correct number to dial in an emergency. She did not have an emergency.
<br />
<br />[Just, you know, making sure.]
<br />
<br />Source: The Union (<a href="http://www.theunion.com/">http://www.theunion.com/</a>)Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-84554802336406016232009-03-20T16:29:00.000-07:002009-03-20T16:35:54.819-07:00Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXVII<span style="font-weight: bold;">8:37 p.m</span>. - A caller from the 100 block of Valley View Drive reported a smoke detector had been going off for 30 minutes. A woman was transported to the emergency room and cited on suspicion of violating probation.<br /><br />[I'd like to know how this was all linked.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3:35 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 20000 block of Echo Blue Drive reported a man pretending to be her grandson called, saying he was in jail in Canada and needed $3,200. The caller's grandson lives in Corvallis, Ore., and was not in Canada.<br /><br />[And presumably had no plans to travel to Canada.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3:52 p.m.</span> - A man from the 19000 block of Connie Drive reported a caller tried to get money out of him, saying he was his grandson.<br /><br />[In jail, in Canada?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4:25 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 14000 block of Tim Burr Lane reported losing about $3,000 in an Internet scam.<br /><br />[Let me guess, your grandson was reported in jail? Perhaps in another country?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:26 p.m.</span> - A caller reported neighbors were tampering with medical marijuana. No address was given.<br /><br />[That is going to be a tough crime to solve when they won't even give you the address.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:10 a.m.</span> - A caller from the 13000 block of Twin Star Lane reported the unauthorized use of identification.<br /><br />[I'm trying to figure out what this one means. Assuming that the person is not misrepresenting them self, I don't get it.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:37 a.m.</span> - A caller from the 10000 block of Lowden Lane who was not making sense reported a firearm on a chair behind a locked door and a woman needing a therapist.<br /><br />[Not to mention the caller.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3:01 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 15000 block of Mt. Olive Road reported someone trying to sell meat and seafood out of a vehicle.<br /><br />[Meat I get... seafood though. One of these guys actually came to our door the other day. "Hey, we were delivering meat to your neighbor and have some extra on the truck!" Left over truck meat!]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3:12 p.m.</span> - A woman from the 17000 block of Aileen Way reported vandalism. It was found to be erosion on an embankment and a naturally occurring hole in an oak tree.<br /><br />[Mother Nature herself is screwing up your property value!]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">12:26 a.m.</span> - A caller from a business in the 300 block of Broad Street requested an officer come by to "get a visual on a punky kid."<br /><br />[Not Punky Brewster I'm going to guess.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5:02 a.m.</span> - A woman from the 100 block of Conaway Avenue reported she left her vehicle running to warm it up and heard it drive away. A report was taken for a stolen vehicle.<br /><br />[I'm going to bet she won't do that again.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">6:14 p.m</span>. - A caller from Juvenile Hall reported a male staff member had been stabbed by a juvenile on the loading dock. A second call reported this was a drill and no stabbing had taken place.<br /><br />[A drill? At 6pm tonight we'll be practicing our Juvenile stabbing drill! Who wants to play the victim?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7:52 p.m.</span> - A man from the 17000 block of Foxtail Drive reported a gold Dodge truck had shined a light into his house while driving past. He said the driver is a "goon" who is friends with a man who wants to harass him. He said the man's "goons" are intentionally driving recklessly past his house and behind his house. This is an ongoing issue with the man and his "goons."<br /><br />[Goons in Grass Valley? Next it will be henchmen or minions! Where will it cease?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:17 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 24000 block of Highway 49 reported one juvenile made death threats to another, and a screwdriver that was to be used in the attack was located. The juvenile was placed in restraints and arrested on suspicion of possessing a deadly weapon and making a criminal threat.<br /><br />[Take him to Juvenile Hall, they know how to deal with stabby people there. They drill the staff on it!]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4:01 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 1400 block of Segsworth Way reported a yellow Jeep drove by six times in 10 minutes.<br /><br />[Forget being inconspicuous I guess.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:25 p.m.</span> - A man who was on the ground at Dalton and Church streets was advised not to lay in the middle of the road.<br /><br />[I like how this one was worded. We did not find out he was in the middle of the road until the end.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3:34 p.m.</span> - A woman from the 21000 block of John Born road reported extortion and bribery attempts by her sister.<br /><br />[Extortion AND bribery. I think somebody is unclear on the concept.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:17 p.m.</span> - A caller from Wildlife Lane reported hearing shots, possibly from a .45 handgun.<br /><br />[That's a well trained ear I'd say.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:54 a.m.</span> - A woman from the 26000 block of Wampum Way reported she and her boyfriend were high on mushrooms and he was stating he was going to kill her. The boyfriend came to the telephone and said he did not intend to kill her, they were "exchanging feelings."<br /><br />[And we're not limiting ourselves to your "approved" feelings man!]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:34 a.m.</span> - A caller from South Auburn Street reported a woman wearing no pants (but wearing panties) had been asked to leave a business. She was located and said she found her pants and would keep them on.<br /><br />[Pants that travel by them self? At least she found them. It is cold out.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:11 a.m.</span> - A caller from the 300 block of Mill Street reported seeing lights and movement inside a guest house. A woman was arrested on suspicion of loitering.<br /><br />[Has that got to be the low end crime in prison or what? What are you in for? Loitering.]<br /><br />Source: The Union (<a href="http://www.theunion.com/">http://www.theunion.com/</a>)Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-42546726599719768922009-03-12T16:14:00.000-07:002009-03-12T16:17:38.339-07:00Indifferent PromotionI have worked for my current... well... what should I call it?<br /><br />I hesitate to say company, since it has been several companies over my time here.<br /><br />Product group maybe? That is as good as anything I guess.<br /><br />I've worked with the same product group for well over a decade now, through various ups and downs, acquisitions and mergers.<br /><br />I came on as an individual contributor, but in two and a half years I ended up as a manager with my own group.<br /><br />And there I have stayed. <br /><br />At points, staying in the same spot has seemed like a good thing. I seemed to survive layoff after layoff during the bursting of the first tech bubble. I got through reorganizations and the inevitable trimming of surplus people after acquisitions. I've made it through bad times.<br /><br />On the other hand, when times have been... better... I have stayed put. Meanwhile, anybody brought in or promoted to management seemed to go straight to Senior Manager. Often these were people with considerably less experience, direct reports, or responsibilities.<br /><br />I began to ask my boss about how I could get promoted to senior manager. Time and time again he agreed that people who were being given Senior Manager titles did not deserve them as much as I did. But nothing happened.<br /><br />Some years we were at a company where promotion beyond manager required the approval of a committee, some of the members of which no longer worked for the company, making it hard to get a quorum. <br /><br />At other times HR said I was not being paid enough to be promoted to Senior Manager, and since those were generally times when we were giving out 2% raises, getting there seemed a long way off.<br /><br />And at some times it was just better to keep my head down, since everything looked like it was going to change the next day, and not necessarily in a good way.<br /><br />Eventually we were bought up by what I would call a "real" company, a big company with where rules were not quite so ad hoc. I thought this would be a good thing.<br /><br />In many ways it was not. Rules went from ad hoc to Byzantine. My connection with the company felt a lot more tenuous; I went from being in a meeting with the CEO once a week to being so many jumps from the CEO on the org chart that I have never seen him in person, I have seen one of his direct reports once, and I don't see or talk to anybody on a regular basis who actually works at corporate HQ. And I found out that big companies have crap benefits for the rank and file because, as I was told, "They can."<br /><br />Still, one thing worked out my way.<br /><br />In my position, with my responsibilities, I was required to have access to a specific internal email distribution list.<br /><br />However, the rules for that list required that an employee must be at least level M1. I was only level L3.<br /><br />My boss (an N2) tried for some time to get this fixed. Not having access to this list was impacting my work. However, IT was adamant that the rules for this distribution list were set in stone and they would not allow exceptions.<br /><br />He went to his boss (an O3), who also tried to get the issue resolved. Eventually he came back to my boss and told him that he just made me an M1, since that was easier than working with IT.<br /><br />M1 is, of course, the level of a Senior Manager.<br /><br />So my boss called me into his office and gave me the news. I had been promoted to M1 so I could access an email distribution list.<br /><br />I had to laugh.<br /><br />My wife seemed less amused when I told her.<br /><br />I explained to her that I had cracked the system! I explained that there was nowhere to go but up from here! I explained that my next promotion was assured!<br /><br />All I have to do is find the right email distribution list and make the case that I need access to it. The rest is just details.Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-3463044588861137862009-03-06T11:00:00.000-08:002009-03-06T11:05:30.040-08:00Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXVI<span style="font-weight: bold;">11:21 a.m.</span> - A woman from Condon Park reported she was stuck in the mud and needed assistance. She called later to report she did not need help. A caller called at 12:53 p.m. to report a physical fight with the father of the previous caller.<br /><br />[No doubt for getting mud all over the vehicle.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> 9:55 a.m</span>. - A caller from the 17900 block of Rockmar Lane reported he would be shooting mistletoe out of a tree at 10:30 a.m.<br /><br />[Is that the recommended way to remove mistletoe?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4:14 p.m</span>. - A caller from the 13400 block of Tyler Foote Road reported the theft of a fallen tree from his yard.<br /><br />[He was saving that fallen tree for later.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:21 p.m</span>. - A caller from the McCourtney Road - Orion Way area reported seeing a nude man in the street holding a sign. She said the man was still in the area but she did not know exactly where.<br /><br />[Aside from the fact that it has been snowing, we all<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> 1:48 p.m</span>. - A caller from the 200 block of Fairmont Drive reported she was followed home and harassed by three young girls who threw snow at her. Contact was made with the juveniles who were admonished.<br /><br />[More snow related crime.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2:20 p.m.</span> - A juvenile from the 200 block of Sutton Way reported her mother refused to give her any food.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2:43 p.m</span>. - A caller from the 200 block of Sutton Way reported her daughter had a lighter and was not listening to her mother.<br /><br />[Home life is supposed to be unsatisfying, otherwise we'd never leave home.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3:54 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 11000 block of Polaris Drive reported her son was drinking rubbing alcohol.<br /><br />[Hopefully an ambulance was dispatched or she brought him to the emergency room.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">11:25 a.m</span>. - A woman from the 18000 block of Alexandra Way reported an elderly neighbor who came to her residence stating the gypsies were trying to kidnap him.<br /><br />[Not a lot of stuff is blamed on gypsies these days.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:10 p.m</span>. - A man from the 1000 block of Laurel Lane reported receiving a suspicious phone call from "Jeff," who wanted to speak to the youngest female in the house. The man said he does not know Jeff and there are no females in his house.<br /><br />["Jeff" needs to work on his social engineering skills I think.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:18 a.m.</span> - A woman from the 100 block of Park Avenue reported someone had been in her vehicle and rolled the windows down. She then said she just needed help reading the mileage from her car.<br /><br />[Just a normal past midnight activity?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5:33 a.m</span>. - A woman from Colfax Avenue near Oak Street reported seeing a flashing light moving toward Ophir Street. The light was possibly from a garbage truck.<br /><br />[I was hoping for another UFO report.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:25 a.m</span>. - A woman from Minnesota called to request a welfare check on her sister in the 13000 block of Golden Star Road. She said she called her wheelchair-bound sister and all she heard on the line was panting. The sister was contacted; her husband had answered the phone and thought it was a telemarketer, so he left the phone off the hook while working out on his exercise machine.<br /><br />[Great moments in misunderstanding.]<br /><br />Source: The Union (<a href="http://www.theunion.com/">http://www.theunion.com/</a>)Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-79643029712892464922009-02-20T14:23:00.000-08:002009-02-20T14:26:17.007-08:00Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXV<span style="font-weight: bold;">4:11 p.m.</span> A caller from Idaho-Maryland Road between Centennial Drive and Sutton Way reported a 6-year-old on a scooter having difficulty in the snow.<br /><br />[Trying to ride a scooter in the snow. What a poignant visual image, not to mention a metaphor for something I am sure.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:39 a.m.</span> A caller from Broad Street reported a man in a cowboy hat and a duster was yelling and screaming.<br /><br />[The return of <a href="http://gvpb.blogspot.com/2007/03/grass-valley-police-blotter-vol_26.html">Cowboy Bill</a>?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">11:43 p.m.</span> A caller from the 100 block of East Main Street reported a man in the Post Office was acting "odd, cleaning the counters and rambling."<br /><br />[As long as he is working out his aggression on dirty counters, leave him be.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:54 a.m.</span> A man from the 10000 block of Combie Road reported receiving death threats by way of text messages.<br /><br />[What a wonderful age in which to live. Death threats all nicely traceable back to the sender. Very smart.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:25 a.m.</span> A caller from the Broad Street overpass reported a man was throwing snowballs at vehicles on the freeway.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2:32 p.m.</span> A caller from La Barr Meadows near McKnight Way reported a driver of a blue Toyota Tercel was throwing snowballs at oncoming traffic. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5:25 p.m.</span> A caller from West Main and North School streets reported three people were throwing snowballs at vehicles.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7:54 p.m. </span> A woman from West Main Street and Forest Glade Circle reported someone threw snowballs at her vehicle.<br /><br />[Some snow falls, anarchy ensues.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:43 a.m.</span> A woman from the 18000 block of Highway 174 reported her son, who was afraid of the snow, was missing. She found him 10 minutes later in the house.<br /><br />[Given how much of it seems to be airborne and aimed at people, I can see a reason for the fear.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:47 a.m.</span> A man from a business in the 100 block of Mill Street reported a flak jacket had been stolen. He called later to say he had gotten it back.<br /><br />[I hope it was the surplus store. Who else keeps a flak jacket around?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:33 p.m.</span> A caller from the 11000 block of Spenceville Road reported a bipolar man had not taken his medication and was "freaking out." The man allegedly thought Grass Valley was sinking and made his family evacuate the house.<br /><br />[I suppose Grass Valley looked like it was sinking with the snow on the ground.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:40 p.m. </span> A woman from the 100 block of Park Avenue reported someone keeps opening the windows of her car. She found it suspicious and requested extra patrols.<br /><br />[An annoying prank, but annoying enough to keep doing it? It something wrong with the car?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:27 p.m. </span> A caller from Mill Street reported a man wearing camos and carrying a pizza was walking down the street, talking about killing his mother. He was arrested on suspicion of being drunk in public.<br /><br />[If you're going to mutter about murder, do it quietly I suppose. Or be sober.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2:07 p.m.</span> A caller from a business in the 500 block of Brunswick Road reported a man left without paying for an extraction,. He went out to get his checkbook and did not return, leaving his cell phone and coat behind.<br /><br />[It makes you wonder about the business. Was it a dentist?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">11:14 a.m.</span> A caller from the county tax assessor's office reported a man was throwing items at the front counter.<br /><br />[It is only a wonder that this does not come up more often.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4:33 p.m.</span> A woman from the 15000 block of Orchard Springs Road reported a man took photos of her and her husband while they were shoveling snow. The man threatened to show the photos to the Social Security Administration because the couple is on disability. She said the man refused to help them shovel the snow and was trying to set them up. She said she was using a "pooper scooper" to shovel the snow.<br /><br />[Aside from the usual, "what do you expect the police to do about this?" question, I like the drama and detail of this entry.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:23 a.m.</span> A caller from Zion Street reported an 8-year-old boy walking down the street. The mother was tracked down and said she had dropped him off at school, not realizing it was the wrong location.<br /><br />[Parenting at its finest.]<br /><br />Source: The Union (<a href="http://www.theunion.com/">http://www.theunion.com/</a>)Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-83654277139760943272009-02-13T07:33:00.000-08:002009-02-13T07:45:28.756-08:00The Home of "Boots" Del BiaggioGambler, NHL franchise owner, and convicted felon <a href="http://www.mercurynews.com/delbiaggio">William "Boots" Del Biaggio III</a> had to put his home up for sale recently.<br /><br />Now you can see for yourself what kind of home you buy when you commit $100 million dollars in security fraud.<br /><br />The asking price is just over $3.5 million.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.movoto.com/real-estate/homes-for-sale/CA/San-Jose/20801-Scenic-Vista-Dr-204_08-321129.htm">See it here</a>, while it lasts.Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-56151072700428540422009-02-12T10:44:00.000-08:002009-02-12T10:48:42.549-08:00Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXIV<span style="font-weight: bold;">1:04 p.m.</span> St. Patrick’s Catholic Church agreed to adjust the volume on the chimes after a neighborhood complaint.<br /><br />[That is a new one on me. I wasn't even aware that one could complain about that sort of thing.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3:10 p.m.</span> A caller from Nevada City reported receiving annoying telephone calls on a cell phone but refused to report it to Nevada City Police.<br /><br />[Look, we've seen how strapped the Sheriff's office is for resources, why bug them on this?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:07 p.m.</span> A woman from the 29000 block of Highway 49 reported a man climbed over her fence to confront her about his dog, which he believed the woman stole.<br /><br />[Is dog theft such an issue elsewhere?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:13 a.m.</span> A man from the 17000 block of Banner Quaker Hill Road reported being defrauded on eBay in the amount of $5,000.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:22 a.m.</span> A man from the 13000 block of Discovery Way reported he had sold a Coton de Tulear puppy to a person who stopped payment on the check, but did not return the dog.<br /><br />[Okay, so here we have actual dog theft... or dog fraud... or some such.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3:13 a.m.</span> A caller from South Auburn and Race streets reported a man was yelling and went to lie down in the road.<br /><br />[On a Friday night I somehow imagine this was not politically motivated.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5:09 p.m.</span> A woman from the 11000 block of Yuba Crest Drive reported a pit bull terrier attacked her llama.<br /><br />[Llama related crime on the rise?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:49 a.m.</span> A caller from Seven Hills Middle School reported a man came to the school at about 7:30 a.m. and kept insisting he needed to see teachers that he had more than 20 years ago. He was “shaving and brushing his teeth in the office.” He was told he could not be on campus during school hours.<br /><br />[A massive nostalgia attack? The sudden realization that everything you know is wrong?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5:24 p.m.</span> A caller from the 15100 block of Sunny Hill Road reported a neighbor was dumping fireplace ashes on her driveway.<br /><br />[And it was not in an effort to cover ice on the driveway to give more traction?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2:28 p.m.</span> A caller from the 10300 block of Gautier Drive reported his wife was acting "crazy" and had pulled his hair.<br /><br />[You're married. It happens. There is nothing the police can do.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:31 p.m.</span> A caller from the 11200 block of Sierra Circle reported a verbal argument on the porch next door about pistols between a man and a woman who was not wearing a shirt.<br /><br />[Conflict, guns, and toplessness? Why isn't this on Fox already?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:12 a.m.</span> A caller from the Litton Trail between Hughes Road and Sierra College reported a suspicious fox. The fox reportedly "darted" onto the trail at the caller, then did it again 10 minutes later.<br /><br />[A suspicious fox? Damn their darting ways!]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:52 a.m.</span> A caller from eastbound Highway 20 reported seeing a dark sedan with a man strapped to the hood with a fire hose. The vehicle could not be located.<br /><br />[File under: Things you do not see every day... not outside of rural college towns, in any case.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4:36 p.m.</span> A caller from Brunswick Road reported two men carrying garbage bags were stopping traffic and trying to get rides.<br /><br />[Garbage bags are pretty low on the list of thing that will help you with your hitchhiking experience.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5:05 p.m.</span> A caller from the 14000 block of Franciscan Way reported a possibly drunken driver drove through a row of mailboxes and kept driving.<br /><br />[My uncle did this once. It is hell on the front end of the car as well as the mailboxes.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:08 a.m. </span> A woman from the 100 block of Badger Lane reported a woman in her 50s with curly hair walked into her home and was chased out by dogs.<br /><br />[I don't know why this brings "Li'l Orphan Annie" to mind, or at least "Aged Orphan Annie," but it does.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">11:26 a.m.</span> A woman from the 200 block of Joerschke Drive reported her neighbor tried to run her over with his wheelchair.<br /><br />[The disabled gone wild.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:40 a.m</span>. A caller from Beckman Street reported a woman was going into people’s yards and talking to herself.<br /><br />[I immediately wondered what she was talking about. Was she talking to an imaginary person, into an imaginary (or real?) radio, or just checking off a mental checklist aloud? "10:32 am, now in the Johnson's yard. Still no killer bees."]<br /><br />Source: The Union (<a href="http://www.theunion.com/">http://www.theunion.com/</a>)Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-13201959509855543782009-01-23T15:23:00.001-08:002009-01-23T15:23:55.155-08:00If Robots Were Alive...If robots were alive and sentient in the way human beings are, would they be as bemused, disturbed, disgusted, or depressed about the operation of their bodies as I am about mine.<br /><br />I swear, every time I go to the doctor I move one step further from belief in "the miracle of life" and one step close to "Rube Goldberg the creator."<br /><br />The #1 argument against intelligent design has to be, "Have you seen how our bodies work?"Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-89958597063237067022008-11-20T15:55:00.000-08:002008-11-20T16:01:53.397-08:00Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXIII<span style="font-weight: bold;">12:16 a.m.</span> - A woman from the 15000 block of Greenhorn Road reported someone shot a paintball at her window. It was determined by deputies that it was eggs, not paintballs.<br /><br />[Well, that's okay then.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:03 a.m.</span> - A caller from Condon Park reported four men were using the fire pit in the barbecue area, and the flames were very high. The men were using the barbecue as a source of heat.<br /><br />[Was it a spare the air day? We're not allowed to have fires in the winter any more if the pollution level is high.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> 10:23 a.m.</span> - A woman from the 12000 block of Hogan Hill Road reported eggs were put in her newspaper box.<br /><br />[A breakfast invitation?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">6:46 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 100 block of Mill Street reported finding a gun in the bushes. It was determined to be a child's toy.<br /><br />[Hard to imagine making this mistake myself, but some people....]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4:25 a.m.</span> - A caller from the 100 block of West Berryhill Drive reported hearing noises like someone was hitting an object outside.<br /><br />[I realize it is early in the morning, but could you get more specific than "an object?"]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:22 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 1900 block of Nevada City Highway reported an elderly man, possibly in his boxers, thumbing a ride.<br /><br />[A rather chilly way to travel. The Sierra's are cold at night in November.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">6:36 a.m.</span> - A caller from the 600 block of Walsh Street reported a man hiding in the bathroom.<br /><br />[That's just vague enough that I do not know what to say. I hope it wasn't his bathroom.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:37 p.m.</span> - A woman from the 500 block of South Auburn Street reported people were following her and that one possibly was a private investigator.<br /><br />[There is no doubt an interesting story... or a mental health issue... involved here.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4:27 p.m.</span> - A woman from a business in the 500 block of Sutton Way reported she found her wallet wide open on the floor toward the rear of the business, but it did not appear anything was taken.<br /><br />[So she called the police to report that she dropped her wallet?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">12:14 p.m.</span> - A woman from the 10000 block of Ridge Road reported her husband was threatening to blow up the house. A loud bang was heard in the background before the line was disconnected. Everything was O.K. when sheriff's deputies arrived.<br /><br />[Uh... performance art then?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:20 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 500 block of Mill Street reported a man washing items in the creek. The man was gold-panning.<br /><br />[Washing items would probably end up being more useful in the long run.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> 5:08 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 900 block of Helling Way reported a goose was stuck in a fishing line near the pond adjacent to the ballfield. The Wildlife Care Center was advised and later it was reported the "goose was loose."<br /><br />[You do not often get entires in the blotter with their own punch lines.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4:04 p.m.</span> - A man from the 13000 block of Quaker Hill Cross Road reported a pig was chasing him on his property and would not let him get in his vehicle.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:36 p.m.</span> - An alarm was reported in the 21000 block of Bear Hollow Road. Wild pigs were on the property and had torn up the yard.<br /><br />[Pigs on a rampage.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">6 a.m. </span>- A caller from a business on the 400 block of Sierra College Drive reported someone broke into a trailer and took a blower, a hedger and a gas can.<br /><br />[The suspect will probably have a suddenly well maintained yard.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5:40 p.m.</span> - A woman from the 11000 block of Upper Circle Drive reported a dead squirrel in her mailbox. She said she previously had found beer cans in the mailbox and has a restraining order against her neighbor.<br /><br />[Not exactly a scene from "The Godfather."]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7:46 p.m.</span> - A caller from the 14000 block of Rough and Ready Highway reported a man had set up floodlights and was skateboarding.<br /><br />[Which, if the bumper stickers are to be believed, is not a crime.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">6:21 p.m.</span> - A caller from Mill Street reported loud music coming from a truck in the parking lot. The owner of the truck was asked to turn it down. A second caller reported several people were doing drugs outside and when the officer made contact, they all ran inside.<br /><br />[Justice thwarted again.]<br /><br />Source: The Union (<a href="http://www.theunion.com/">http://www.theunion.com/</a>)Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31413695.post-6426788943372005162008-11-14T14:52:00.000-08:002008-11-14T14:58:56.897-08:00Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXII<span style="font-weight: bold;">11:34 a.m.</span> A caller from a business in the 100 block of West Main Street reported a recorder was stolen.<br /><br />[One presumes that they did not mean <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recorder">the instrument</a> that I would dearly like somebody to steal from my daughter.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4:57 p.m.</span> A woman from the 10000 block of Boulder Hill Drive reported her son was guilty of fraud and theft.<br /><br />[That's for a jury to decide ma'am.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:43 p.m.</span> A woman requested a welfare check on her boyfriend on the 18000 block of River Ranch Road, whom she had last heard from at 6:30 a.m. She said he might be out four-wheeling, and she didn't want to drive up from Sacramento unless he was home.<br /><br />[Can you see if my boyfriend is home so I don't have to waste my time? Hey, I pay taxes!]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7:28 p.m.</span> A caller from the 300 block of Alta Street reported the residence was open and items were strewn all over the inside. The reporter was standing by in a white shirt and fake blood.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:15 p.m.</span> A caller from East Main Street reported a teenager dressed up in a construction costume with a stop sign was holding up traffic.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:07 p.m.</span> A caller from the 200 block of Richardson Street reported a bald man wearing a dress was seen running toward North Church Street, yelling for his purse back. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:59 p.m.</span> Contact was made with some individuals at a local cemetery who were advised to leave.<br /><br />[Calls you only get around Halloween.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> 4:00 p.m.</span> A caller from Brunswick advised of three cars involved in an "accident" on Brunswick Road near Sutton Way.<br /><br />[Did the caller make "air quotes" over the phone? Did they suspect it wasn't really an accident?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:03 p.m.</span> A caller from Wildlife Lane and You Bet Road reported a fight involving a group of 25 to 30 people.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">11:01 p.m.</span> A countywide search was called for a black full size Chevy Blazer with unknown plates that left the Wildlife Lane and You Bet Road area. The vehicle was thought to have three men and one woman aboard. The woman was reported to have a 9 mm handgun.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">11:36 p.m.</span> A caller from the 11000 block of Squirrel Creek Road reported a drunk man wearing a gray jump suit who came to the caller's door and stated he was pushed out of a vehicle and subjects were "packing heat."<br /><br />[Wild times in Grass Valley?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:47 a.m.</span> A woman from the 200 block of Dorsey Drive reported her neighbor from upstairs kept banging on her ceiling.<br /><br />[Welcome to apartment life.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10:17 a.m.</span> A caller from the 11000 block of Birchville Road reported armed hunters on his property. The same caller had reported hunters the previous day. He was advised to call state Fish and Game.<br /><br />[Is trespassing not handled by the Sheriff's department these days?]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1:45 p.m.</span> A caller from Brewer Road reported a missing 3-year-old girl, dressed in a pink-and-white sleeper. She was last seen by the garage. The garage and barn had been checked. The girl was found approximately eight minutes later inside the entertainment center; she had been hiding.<br /><br />[How to take ten years off your parent's lives.]<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7:34 p.m.</span> A caller from the 400 block of Pine Street reported a pickup was parked illegally and blocking a wheelchair ramp. Police determined the resident had painted the sidewalk and it was not illegal to park there.<br /><br />[You apparently cannot just create your own handicap parking spots.]<br /><br />Source: The Union (<a href="http://www.theunion.com/">http://www.theunion.com/</a>)Herbert Morrisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15170038221012372245noreply@blogger.com0