Monday, April 28, 2008

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XCVII

8:38 a.m. - A caller from South Auburn Street near La Barr Meadows Drive reported a suspicious-looking man was carrying a large gun.

[I think, unless you are in law enforcement, carrying a large gun automatically makes you suspicious.]

11:45 a.m. - A caller from a store on the 100 block of West McKnight Way reported a person collecting signatures for a petition was yelling over her while she also collected signatures for a petition, and she felt it was harassment.

[Were they conflicting petitions, or was this some "zero sum" signature paranoia? "Oh no, I'm getting used signatures!"]

5:31 p.m. - A woman called from the 100 block of Stacey Lane to report her neighbors, all young men, were playing loud music and they refused to turn it down. She asked them to clean up the beer bottles in their front yard and they would not. They hung a swastika in their front window facing her home, and when she complained and said it was offensive, one of the men lifted his shirt to expose a swastika tattoo, she said. He said he liked the history of the swastika. An officer contacted the woman.

[Think of these guys when you have problems with your neighbors. Things could be worse.]

12:20 a.m. - Three callers from Race Street reported hearing a fight and a gunshot. Police contacted several people. The activity was shut down for the night and everyone was going home. No arrests were made.

[The "fighting and shooting guns" activity?]

11:07 a.m. - A caller from Tyler Foote Crossing Road reported a large cow was in the roadway.

[A large cow. Not one of those indoor cows that the Hollywood celebs are so fond of these days.]

3:15 p.m. - A deputy contacted an ice cream truck driver on the 11000 block of Highway 174. The deputy was following up on a report Wednesday of loud music.

[Still no answer on the laws covering ice cream truck music though.]

6:24 p.m. - A caller from a motel on the 900 block of Sutton Way reported someone stole gasoline tanks of cars that belonged to guests. No one wanted to file a report.

[Somebody is stealing gasoline tanks of cars!?! gasoline "from" tanks of cars. You'll see a lot more of that as the price of gas rises.]

8:48 p.m. - A caller from the 300 block of Northstar Place reported neighbors were playing loud music, they had been drinking and they were making inappropriate noises. Police contacted the people who be staying inside.

[We be taking our inappropriate noises indoors!]

10:04 a.m. - A man called from the 100 block of Chester Street to report finding a number of purses and car parts that had been thrown in his yard last night. He believed the items may have been stolen. Police responded and retrieved a hat and two empty zipper pouches.

[Something does not add up.]

2:25 p.m. - a caller from the 22000 block of Queequog Lane reported theft of a doghouse.

[Dog house theft. Things have gotten bad. But cheers for street names that are literary references, even if they are misspelled.]

4:27 p.m. - A caller reported a road rage incident that started on Highway 20 between Penn Valley and Grass Valley. A person driving a blue Honda Matrix followed the caller home. The person in the Matrix left, and the CHP was notified.

[Toyota. Toyota makes the Matrix, not Honda.]

10:14 p.m. - A caller from Pheasant Road reported promiscuous shooting in a back yard. A person denied having firearms and denied shooting.

[Our parents warned us about promiscuous shooting! Plus, when in doubt, deny everything.]

6:35 p.m. - A caller from Gray Oak Drive reported 20 horses were in the roadway. Animal Control would respond in 30 minutes. An Animal Control officer was unable to locate the horses.

[Twenty seems like a lot of horses to miss, even in the tricky glow of twilight.]

2:19 p.m. - A woman called from the 100 block of North Pine Street to report a man said he would kill any other men the woman dated. She said the man told her he has killed before. Police took a report.

[Again, without context, I picture this guy showing up out of nowhere with this.]

8:52 p.m. - The GVFD responded to a report of a person stuck in the bath tub. Firefighters located the stuck occupant and extricated her from the tub. The woman suffered no injuries.

[No physical injuries. I imagine being stuck in the tub would be a bit humiliating.]

12:37 p.m. - A bus driver reported a man was drinking alcohol in a bus stop shelter on the 700 block of Sutton Way. Police cited a 48-year-old man on suspicion of having an open container of alcohol.

1:46 p.m. - A caller from the 200 block of East Main Street reported a man was jumping in and out of traffic and yelling at cars. Police contacted the same 48-year-old man they cited earlier at the bus stop shelter and advised him to move on.

[We haven't seen anybody jumping in and out of traffic for a while... or a multi-part story.]

3:19 p.m. - A caller reported a man was walking on Colfax Avenue holding a baby car seat. Police were unable to locate the man.

[You can't walk around here holding just anything you know!]

6:23 a.m. - A man called from the 100 block of Ruby Ledge Court to report that when he went outside in the morning, he found an extra bag of garbage next to his garbage can. Police determined the bag contained garbage.

[Case solved!]

8:24 a.m. - A man from School Street reported his neighbor was throwing trash into his yard.

[We will believe it is trash when the police determine it to be so!]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XCVI

4:03 p.m. - A woman called from a parking lot at Sierra College to report two passengers, both with white beards, had been threatening her and taking money from the till.

[Bad Santa... er... Santas.]

5:44 p.m. - A caller from School Street reported a man wearing a baseball hat that said "Police" on it walked into a classroom that the caller was cleaning, then headed down Dalton Street. Police located the man on South Auburn Street and told him not to wear his hat. He headed home.

[No hat for you!]

8:52 a.m. - A caller reported a tall, thin man wearing glasses was at the Sierra College bus stop throwing rocks at cars.

[The Thin Man Lashes Out!]

10:02 p.m. - A caller from the 11000 block of Mooney Flat Road reported a person was causing an argument and throwing cheese in her eye. A man at the house also called. He sounded as if he had been drinking, and he said a woman was throwing cheese all over the house and his wife was acting "nutso." The man said the fight was not physical. A woman said "yes" in the background. A deputy determined the fight was not physical. No arrests were made.

[Cheese related violence is relatively rare outside of France.]

3:09 p.m. - A caller from the 12000 block of Creek View Drive reported a neighbor threw a branch and a rock into the roadway while the caller was driving by, damaging the caller's vehicle. Deputies arrested a person on suspicion of drunken driving.

[Was it the person who called in? That would be ironic.]

1:48 p.m. - A caller reported a person was lying in the dirt by a fence at Veterans Memorial Park. Police checked on the person, who was just enjoying the sun.

[Just catching some rays.]

11:34 p.m. - A caller reported a man wrapped in a blanket was walking very slowly on Kate Hayes Street. The caller thought police should check on him. Police contacted the 19-year-old man, who was fine and was not drunk. He had walked to the store and he was cold, so he used a blanket.

[We are always suspicious of the different.]

1:54 a.m. - A 49-year-old woman at the police station lobby reported running out of gas on the freeway. She requested a ride back to the vehicle, which police provided.

[With some gas in hand I assume. And how did she get to the police station if she needed a ride back?]

8:10 p.m. - A caller from the 11000 block of Marjon Drive reported a man came and out of the bushes and was hitchhiking. The caller said the man "doesn't fit the look of the neighborhood." A deputy took a report.

[You do not meet the minimum requirements to hide in these bushes.]

3:38 p.m. - A caller from the 15000 block of Monte Vista Drive reported multiple fireworks going off near her residence. An officer admonished the people with the fireworks and told them to destroy the remaining fireworks.

[By setting them off?]

1:24 p.m. - A man called from the 16000 block of Ophir Silver Road to report a man ripped five of his trees out of the ground.

[I'd let the police handle a guy who could rip trees out of the ground. Hulk no like digger pines!]

6:41 p.m. - A woman called from the 18000 block of Biladeau Lane to report flip flops were missing from her porch and Vicodin was missing from her house.

[Flip flops? Is there a category below "petty theft?"]

7:02 p.m. - A man called from the 10000 block of Dixon Road to report a woman tore his shirt and punched him in the mouth. A deputy took a report for battery.

[One of the odd things about the blotter is the complete lack of context, so you often picture people doing these things out of the blue, with no reason or provocation.]

5:23 p.m. - A caller from a triplex on the 300 block of First Street reported there was no running water. The owner of the residence said he paid the water bill last week. Public Works was advised, then called police back to say the bill had not been paid.

[And why did he call the police in the first place?]

3:09 p.m. - A caller from a school on the 11000 block of Highway 174 reported an ice cream truck was coming to the campus before class let out and the male driver was blasting music. The caller asked the man not to park in the school parking lot. The driver parked across the street and was still disrupting class.

[What is the law regarding the music from ice cream trucks? Are there any regulations?]

3:07 p.m. - A caller from the 700 block of Zion Street reported two uncooperative shoplifters were in custody. Police arrested the juveniles on suspicion of shoplifting and possession of a beverage by a minor.

[We do prefer our shoplifters to be cooperative, ideally so cooperative that they do not bother to steal anything at all. Also, I suppose we can assume it was an alcoholic beverage.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XCV

2:39 p.m. - A man called to report a woman was continuing to stalk him through his Myspace account.

[Crimes of the digital age.]

1:57 p.m. - A woman called from the 22000 block of Trotter Road to report two men came on the property in a blue and white pickup with "Omni Meat and Seafood" painted on it. The caller felt they were suspicious and her brother took a picture of them. One of the men threatened to knock the man out before they left.

[Is meat on wheels as common in other areas? Issues with hostile, roving meat sellers seem to crop up in Nevada County rather often.]

4:07 p.m. - A caller from the 10000 block of Darlene Court reported a neighbor threatened to blow up his house. The two were having a dispute over survey markers and trimming bushes on the property line.

[That seems a little extreme.]

11:34 p.m. - A caller from the 11000 block of Sierra Circle reported a fight with her son. A deputy arrested a person on suspicion of resisting arrest.

[I always wonder how "resisting arrest" can be the only charge.]

11:36 p.m. - A man called from the 16000 block of Lowell Hill Road to report he came home and a neighbor was in his house. The house was "trashed," but nothing was missing.

[Just a messy, intrusive neighbor. Not somebody who would, say, blow up the house.]

9:35 a.m. - A woman from the 600 block of Brighton Street reported she received a call yesterday from a company called "Valley Benefit of America." The person offered a free gas or shopping card in exchange for the woman's personal information. The woman did not give out her information, but requested a log entry.

[Yeah for somebody smart!]

11:11 a.m. - A caller from the 600 block of Brighton Street reported the theft of a stone elephant sometime in the first half of March. An officer took a report for petty theft.

[Should that be "proboscidea theft?"]

10:55 p.m. - A man called from the 100 block of Northridge Drive to report his sister and her husband got into a fight. The fight was "playful," however there was a knife involved and someone's hand was cut.

[But it was playful... so they called the police.]

1:49 p.m. - A woman called from the 200 block of Sutton Way to report a man was demanding money for a car accident involving her son. The man said that if he didn't receive the money, he was going to beat up her son.

[I think I've dealt with that insurance company before.]

1:53 p.m. - A man called to report a man wanted for parole violations was at the hospital getting his hand sewn up. The man said he wanted the man picked by police and out of his daughter's life. Police went to the hospital emergency room and arrested a 46-year-old man for warrants and on suspicion of violation of parole and resisting arrest.

[Nothing special, except the added bit about getting the man "out of his daughter's life." I'm not sure the police have that much power, unless the daughter cooperates.]

10:58 a.m. - A caller from the 11000 block of Newtown Road reported a man was going door to door asking for used batteries. The man was driving a gray truck with Idaho plates. The man said he was going to the North San Juan area.

[Used batteries? What would he do with them?]

1:15 p.m. - A caller from the 17000 block of Highway 49 reported a man in a gray truck was asking for used batteries for a diabetes foundation. The man was headed toward the river. Deputies were unable to locate the man.

[Okay, what would the diabetes foundation do with them?]

4:33 p.m. - A caller from the 11000 block of Newtown Road reported a man in a truck was asking for batteries. A deputy interviewed the man in the truck, released him and took a report.

[The deputy appeared to be satisfied that this battery person was on the level.]

5:41 p.m. - A caller from the 11000 block of Flying T Road reported a ham radio operator was making threats to shoot other ham radio operators in Contra Costa County. The operator sounded drunk, and he was also threatening to shoot himself.

[See, this sort of thing didn't start with MySpace. We just didn't care about it until then.]

10:13 a.m. - Animal Control reported receiving numerous calls about a dog with a homeless person at Calanan Park. Many people were concerned about the dog. Animal Control determined the dog is old and has cancer.

[There is a homeless person, but everybody is worried about the dog.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XCIV

10:44 p.m. A woman from Dolores Drive called the Grass Valley Police Department, saying she was afraid someone was going to "rob" the residence. An anonymous man called to report it appeared a woman was being held against her will in the back seat of a vehicle with a suspect. A search was conducted with negative results.

[Nobody with intent to "rob" and nobody being held against their will. Negative.]

6:40 p.m. - A caller from the 11000 block of Cedar Ridge Drive reported a person out in the yard, screaming and causing a ruckus.

[I just want to know when a "ruckus" becomes a "disturbance."]

9:08 a.m. - A woman called to report a residence she is taking care of on the 400 block of Washington Street was burglarized.

[That's going to be awkward when the owner's return. Burglary has to rank up there with having a pet you are watching for somebody die.]

9:21 a.m. - A woman called from Dog Bar Road to report someone shot an arrow into a tree next to her daughter, who was outside burning debris. The woman told a deputy she did not see the arrow shot into the tree. She just noticed it was there.

[It could have been there for weeks.]

3:35 p.m. Monday­ Several callers from apartments on the 200 block of Sutton Way reported a woman threw a television over a railing. Police contacted the people and all was fine.

[It is hard to imagine how people could be mistaken about that sort of thing, but then it was April 1st.]

8:50 a.m. - A caller from Condon Park reported a possible peeping Tom. The man had a hood over his head and was crouching under a bush looking toward apartments with binoculars. Police contacted the man, who said he was watching wildlife in the park.

[Still, it is hard not to turn and look at anything interesting that might happen in the apartments.]

10:44 a.m. - A woman at the front counter reported someone sent a gun in the mail to her home on the 13000 block of Laurel Hill Loop. She turned the gun in to the sheriff's office for destruction.

[Guns in the mail. I thought we stopped that in the 60s.]

12:34 a.m. - A man called from the 15000 block of Bitney Springs Road to report a man knocked on his door and was screaming on his front porch. The man was wearing a brown sweater and one leather glove. The man drove away.

[Michael? Does Michael Jackson still wear just one glove?]

10:42 a.m. - People who appeared to be selling T-shirts on the corner of East Main Street and South Auburn Street said they had a permit, but research at city hall did not result in any permits. The people needed a business license and an encroachment permit to sell shirts. Police contacted the people and they said they were not selling. They were displaying the shirts, and they did have a permit.

[There is a fine line between "displaying" and "selling" I guess.]

3:40 p.m. - A caller reported a juvenile was walking "strangely" on Mill Street at Bank Street. Police were unable to locate the juvenile.

[I like that even the police put the word "strangely" in quotes, as if to distance themselves from it.]

2:40 p.m. - A caller from the 18000 block of Scotts Flat Road reported a family member stole a bulldozer. Police determined the issue was not criminal.

[Bulldozer related family disturbances. You don't get that in the big city.]

4:51 p.m. - A woman called from Condon Park to report a woman was lighting wood on fire at the park. After someone asked the woman what she was doing, she threw ignited wood in the creek. She then drove toward the disc golf area in a red Subaru. Police located the woman and advised her to stay out of the park for the day.

[Banned from the park... for the rest of the day. Not a very stern measure at nearly five in the afternoon.]

6:40 p.m. - A caller from a business on the 100 block of Neal Street reported a man was lighting paper on fire. Police told the man to move on and advised him of the dangers of playing with fire.

[More fire. And he didn't even get banned from something.]
Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Monday, March 31, 2008

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XCIII

1:34 a.m. - A woman called from the 18000 block of Biladeau Lane to report being threatened and harassed by her mother over religious issues.

[No doubt mom was indicating where she thought her daughter would end up given her current behavior.]

11:08 a.m. - A caller from a business on the 24100 block of Dark Horse Drive reported all the beer had been stolen.

[Not just "beer," but "all the beer!" A sad day for somebody.]

4 p.m. - A caller from the 17900 block of Highway 49 said someone opened her locked door with a butter knife while she was away.

[There is something about "butter knife" that makes this all the more humiliating.]

10:04 a.m. - A caller from the 12000 block of Lakeshore Drive reported two ceramic pieces were stolen from her home.

[Garden gnome theft?]

7:52 a.m. - A caller from King Court reported a neighbor's house was flooding, and water was coming out of it.

[The mental image is probably better than the reality. I wonder if it was a burst water bed?]

9:12 a.m. - A caller from a parking lot on the 700 block of Freeman Lane reported a man punched his silver Buick, denting it, and then drove away.

[Ouch? Aren't those made out of steel or something? They used to be when I was a kid.]

1:13 a.m. - Officers arrested a 33-year-old man on the 15000 block of Tyler Foote Road on suspicion of threatening a crime, willfully following and harassing another person, possessing certain weapons, carrying a concealed dagger, evading a peace officer while operating a vehicle and driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

[Just another fun Saturday night!]

3:08 p.m. - A caller from the 10000 of Bragg Avenue reported finding a Bowie knife in some bushes. The caller didn't know who owns the knife.

[That is a pretty sizable find. A real Bowie knife is not generally a small item.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XCII

5:10 p.m. - A caller reported hearing about a dozen gun shots coming from the area of Nevada Union High School on Ridge Road. Police arrived to find a track meet in progress. The shots may have been fired to start the races.

[Damn starter's gun!]

8:27 a.m. - A woman called from the 500 block of Silva Avenue to report finding three ant traps on her upper deck, which were not there the day before. The woman believed someone used a ladder to do it. The upper deck is only accessible from the outside by ladder.

[The ant trapper strikes again!]

11:54 a.m. - A woman called from the 200 block of Boulder Street to report several art pieces were missing from an unoccupied residence. The last time the woman saw the art pieces was in 2000. Police would take a report.

[So, somewhere in the last eight years or so...]

7:14 a.m. - A caller from a radio station on the 1000 block of East Main Street reported receiving threats from a man who was upset with the station's reporting. The man seemed to become more irate each time he called.

[I wonder what reporting set him off? The weather? The sports? Traffic?]

10:30 a.m. - A caller from a school on South Auburn Street reported the theft of andy.

[I can only imagine that andy's parents are distraught.]

3:41 p.m. - A caller reported a vehicle was going the wrong way on Highway 49 between Gold Flat Road and Grass valley City limits. A CHP officer stopped the vehicle and everything was fine.

[Fine, aside from going the wrong way on Highway 49.]

11:56 a.m. - A caller reported two juvenile males were walking through an empty lot at Leduc Street and Whiting Street. One was carrying a bat, and the other was carrying a saw.

[And they were going to walk into a bar to kick off a joke.]

11:19 p.m. - A man called from the 300 block of Bennett Street to report he needed to be taken to jail because he was violating the terms of his probation by drinking alcohol. Police arrested the 35-year-old man on suspicion of violation of probation.

[Ask and you shall receive?]

1:51 p.m. - A man called from the 11000 block of Honey Mushroom Lane to report a person shot at him today. He said he would purchase a gun, then he hung up the phone. A man called to report the first caller threw a rock at his vehicle. None of the callers wanted contact from law enforcement.

[It is times like this that the waiting period for a gun seems like a good idea.]

6:24 p.m. - A caller from the 15000 block of Tippy Way reported two men in a red and silver lifted truck hit a mailbox with a baseball bat.

[Mailbox Polo!]

8:06 a.m. - A caller from a school on the 400 block of Searls Avenue reported daffodils were vandalized.

[Crime against flowers.]

9:08 p.m. - A caller from the 400 block of South Auburn Street reported a man in his 30s, wearing a St. Patrick's Day hat, was yelling at passing cars. Police contacted the 36-year-old man, who had been drinking. They did not arrest him.

[Drunk people on St. Patrick's Day?]

2:43 p.m. - A caller reported losing teeth in Fairfield.

[Fairfield is that sort of town.]

10:31 p.m. Tuesday ­ A caller from the 300 block of Spring Street reported a man wearing a red shirt and carrying a banjo was banging on a window. Police were unable to locate the man.

[Banjo related crimes!]

5:30 p.m. - A caller from the 100 block of East McKnight Way reported that a man in a blue Geo with gray primer on the fenders was throwing rocks at cars.

[Throwing rocks as "real" cars.]

9:52 a.m. - A caller from a business on the 13000 block of Ridge Road reported a blue van had been parked across the street since 7 a.m. A deputy contacted a person in the van, who was a private investigator watching a house. The private investigator would call the sheriff's office next time.

[Nice work there, Mannix.]

4:35 p.m. - A man called from the 19000 block of Legacy Lane to report Internet fraud. He placed an order online and he did not receive the merchandise. A deputy advised the man to get an attorney.

[An attorney? If he wants to spend more money. How about the credit card company?]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Monday, March 17, 2008

Meet in the Middle

Somebody is working on a web application called Mezzoman that lets you to put in two locations for which it finds the midpoint and will then suggest a meeting place based on an additional criteria you can enter, such as coffee, Japanese food, or movie theater.

It basically uses Google to pick a mid-point meeting place for two people.

The comedy comes in when you start getting further apart geographically.

Finding a Greek place between San Jose and Palo Alto predictably puts up a couple of locations in Sunnyvale and Santa Clara.

Changing that to San Jose, CA and Orlando, FL puts the mid-point choice in Wellington, Texas. Perhaps not my first choice of locations.

Still, it is a nifty little application. I could see using it to pick spots for a mid-day meal on a road trip, though I would want a feature that would let me stick within, say, two miles of the interstate highway.

For example, picking a place between San Jose and Carlsbad, CA, I am unlikely to drive miles off of Highway 5 just for pizza.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XCI

7:42 a.m. - A caller reported a boy was skateboarding down the middle of Hughes Road.

[See, it is a crime.]

6:42 p.m. - A woman called from Gold Flat Road at Zion Street to report she hit a gate at a church, and she could not move her car because it was impaled on the gate. An officer responded, determined there was no damage to the gate, and would remain at the church until the woman's husband arrived to help with the car.

[There is something old testament about a car impaled on a gate at a church.]

9:08 a.m. - A caller from the 17000 block of Highway 20 reported being blackmailed by a county department.

[The county department of extortion?]

10:34 a.m. - A woman called from the 18000 block of Biladeau Lane to report her medications were stolen and that it is possible they were stolen while she was visiting a friend at a motel in Grass Valley. She said her dog also was hit this morning, and the driver took off.

[What's the police code for a country western song in progress?]

7:06 p.m. - A caller from Colfax Avenue reported being hit in the face with a beer can thrown from a vehicle. The victim declined to file a report.

[I hope it was an empty]

8:42 a.m. - A caller from the 22000 block of East Hacienda Drive reported stuffed bears were burned and gas cans were nearby.

[That what happens when you don't pay the county department of extortion.]

9:44 a.m. - A caller from the 13000 block of Wheeler Acres Road reported an auto burglary.

9:53 a.m. - A caller from the 15000 block of Pleasant Valley Road reported the theft of a gate opener.

1:01 p.m. - A caller from the 13000 block of Wheeler Acres Road reported a theft from an unlocked vehicle.

1:07 p.m. - A caller from the 13000 block of Wheeler Acres Road reported a theft from an unlocked residence.

2:06 p.m. - A caller from the 16000 block of Pleasant Valley Road reported the theft of a gate opener.

[Crime spree... I wonder if there is something interesting you can do with these gate openers?]

12:01 a.m. - A caller reported a man on East Main Street was walking in the roadway, shouting and scaring people. Police contacted the man, who was fine.

[He was just shouting and scaring people. That's his thing.]

11:18 a.m. - A man called from Benedict Canyon in the Greenhorn Creek area to report numerous motorcycles were going around his gate. He said he would go out with a bat and a gun to take care of the problem. Deputies contacted the caller and located several people, but they didn't match the description of the people going around his gate.

[I'll get go out with a bat and a gun and take care of the problem. Why even call the police then?]

11:24 a.m. A man called from the 700 block of Zion Street to report his vehicle was stolen. Police determined the vehicle was repossessed.

[Oh, yeah... the car payment.]

6:29 p.m. - A caller reported eight juveniles were drinking at the end of Maryland Drive for more than an hour. One of the occupants was outside the car when officers arrived. Officers advised the person to pour out what was left of the alcohol and clean up the mess. There was no underage drinking.

[Pour out that beer! Now clean up that mess you just made!]

2:38 p.m. Tuesday ­ A man called from Gautier Drive to report a 12-year-old boy shot a BB gun toward her residence. A deputy determined the event was about some chickens roaming in the neighborhood. Animal Control was notified.

[So was there a shooter or not?]

2:50 p.m. Tuesday ­ A woman called from the 15000 block of Thornberry Way to report her husband just sped off with the cat and was driving recklessly. The CHP was notified.

[He's taken the cat and there is no telling what he'll do!]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Amazon.com as Creative Muse

One of the great things about Amazon.com product reviews is that the right product can both bring forth the creative spark and act as an an emotional outlet for people.

I hold up, as an example, the reviews for the Playmobile Security Checkpoint.

Check them out.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XC

7:56 p.m. - A caller from a business on the 100 block of Mill Street reported a woman with a mullet hair style, a tattoo across her chest and large hoop earrings was refusing to leave. Police contacted the 26-year-old woman, advised her to leave, and she did.

[Is it still a mullet if it is a woman's hair? Wikipedia suggests the term "Fem-Mullet."]

8:45 p.m. - A caller from a business on the 200 block of West Main Street reported a large woman with a mullet and a tattoo across her chest committed vandalism. A bartender was holding her outside until police arrived. Officers arrested the 26-year-old woman on suspicion of vandalism, resisting arrest and public drunkenness.

[I think she must be taking the "party in the back" part too seriously.]

9:30 a.m. - A caller from downtown reported a man with no shoes yelling inappropriate things. Another caller reported the man was "doing cartwheels" in front of a business.

[And he has no shoes.]

5:53 p.m. - A caller from the 14000 block of Chisum Trail reported a neighbor threatened to plant oleanders along the fence and to poison the caller's horses, if the caller didn't move a pasture gate.

[Is threatening to plant oleanders really a threat?]

7:56 p.m. - A caller from Allison Ranch Road reported seeing several unknown white lights in varying patterns in the sky over Grass Valley and Nevada City. The lights were later determined to be revolving spotlights.

[No UFO report this week.]

4:18 - A person made a report in the lobby of a stolen cell phone.

[It has been a while since I have seen a cell phone big enough to have its own lobby.]

9:30 p.m. - A caller from the 10000 block of Alta Sierra Drive reported receiving annoying phone calls from a man she sold a puppy to last week.

[Was the puppy misrepresented as house broken?]

6:07 p.m. - A woman in the police station lobby reported her neighbor on Juan Way was terrorizing her. The neighbor shot a "wrist rocket" into the woman's windshield, damaging it. The "terrorism" was an ongoing issue. Police contacted the woman and determined there was no crime.

[Homeland Security can stand down.]

1 p.m. - A man called from the 14000 block of Pilot Peak Lane to report a person who was using the caller's easement to see his neighbor. The caller wanted to file indecent exposure charges against a woman.

[The weather still seems a bit chilly to start exposing ones self, indecently or otherwise.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)