Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXV

4:11 p.m. ­ A caller from Idaho-Maryland Road between Centennial Drive and Sutton Way reported a 6-year-old on a scooter having difficulty in the snow.

[Trying to ride a scooter in the snow. What a poignant visual image, not to mention a metaphor for something I am sure.]

9:39 a.m. ­ A caller from Broad Street reported a man in a cowboy hat and a duster was yelling and screaming.

[The return of Cowboy Bill?]

11:43 p.m. ­ A caller from the 100 block of East Main Street reported a man in the Post Office was acting "odd, cleaning the counters and rambling."

[As long as he is working out his aggression on dirty counters, leave him be.]

10:54 a.m. ­ A man from the 10000 block of Combie Road reported receiving death threats by way of text messages.

[What a wonderful age in which to live. Death threats all nicely traceable back to the sender. Very smart.]

10:25 a.m. ­ A caller from the Broad Street overpass reported a man was throwing snowballs at vehicles on the freeway.

2:32 p.m. ­ A caller from La Barr Meadows near McKnight Way reported a driver of a blue Toyota Tercel was throwing snowballs at oncoming traffic.

5:25 p.m. ­ A caller from West Main and North School streets reported three people were throwing snowballs at vehicles.

7:54 p.m. ­ A woman from West Main Street and Forest Glade Circle reported someone threw snowballs at her vehicle.

[Some snow falls, anarchy ensues.]

8:43 a.m. ­ A woman from the 18000 block of Highway 174 reported her son, who was afraid of the snow, was missing. She found him 10 minutes later in the house.

[Given how much of it seems to be airborne and aimed at people, I can see a reason for the fear.]

1:47 a.m. ­ A man from a business in the 100 block of Mill Street reported a flak jacket had been stolen. He called later to say he had gotten it back.

[I hope it was the surplus store. Who else keeps a flak jacket around?]

9:33 p.m. ­ A caller from the 11000 block of Spenceville Road reported a bipolar man had not taken his medication and was "freaking out." The man allegedly thought Grass Valley was sinking and made his family evacuate the house.

[I suppose Grass Valley looked like it was sinking with the snow on the ground.]

8:40 p.m. ­ A woman from the 100 block of Park Avenue reported someone keeps opening the windows of her car. She found it suspicious and requested extra patrols.

[An annoying prank, but annoying enough to keep doing it? It something wrong with the car?]

8:27 p.m. ­ A caller from Mill Street reported a man wearing camos and carrying a pizza was walking down the street, talking about killing his mother. He was arrested on suspicion of being drunk in public.

[If you're going to mutter about murder, do it quietly I suppose. Or be sober.]

2:07 p.m. ­ A caller from a business in the 500 block of Brunswick Road reported a man left without paying for an extraction,. He went out to get his checkbook and did not return, leaving his cell phone and coat behind.

[It makes you wonder about the business. Was it a dentist?]

11:14 a.m. ­ A caller from the county tax assessor's office reported a man was throwing items at the front counter.

[It is only a wonder that this does not come up more often.]

4:33 p.m. ­ A woman from the 15000 block of Orchard Springs Road reported a man took photos of her and her husband while they were shoveling snow. The man threatened to show the photos to the Social Security Administration because the couple is on disability. She said the man refused to help them shovel the snow and was trying to set them up. She said she was using a "pooper scooper" to shovel the snow.

[Aside from the usual, "what do you expect the police to do about this?" question, I like the drama and detail of this entry.]

9:23 a.m. ­ A caller from Zion Street reported an 8-year-old boy walking down the street. The mother was tracked down and said she had dropped him off at school, not realizing it was the wrong location.

[Parenting at its finest.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

The Home of "Boots" Del Biaggio

Gambler, NHL franchise owner, and convicted felon William "Boots" Del Biaggio III had to put his home up for sale recently.

Now you can see for yourself what kind of home you buy when you commit $100 million dollars in security fraud.

The asking price is just over $3.5 million.

See it here, while it lasts.

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXIV

1:04 p.m. ­ St. Patrick’s Catholic Church agreed to adjust the volume on the chimes after a neighborhood complaint.

[That is a new one on me. I wasn't even aware that one could complain about that sort of thing.]

3:10 p.m. ­ A caller from Nevada City reported receiving annoying telephone calls on a cell phone but refused to report it to Nevada City Police.

[Look, we've seen how strapped the Sheriff's office is for resources, why bug them on this?]

1:07 p.m. ­ A woman from the 29000 block of Highway 49 reported a man climbed over her fence to confront her about his dog, which he believed the woman stole.

[Is dog theft such an issue elsewhere?]

8:13 a.m. ­ A man from the 17000 block of Banner Quaker Hill Road reported being defrauded on eBay in the amount of $5,000.

10:22 a.m. ­ A man from the 13000 block of Discovery Way reported he had sold a Coton de Tulear puppy to a person who stopped payment on the check, but did not return the dog.

[Okay, so here we have actual dog theft... or dog fraud... or some such.]

3:13 a.m. ­ A caller from South Auburn and Race streets reported a man was yelling and went to lie down in the road.

[On a Friday night I somehow imagine this was not politically motivated.]

5:09 p.m. ­ A woman from the 11000 block of Yuba Crest Drive reported a pit bull terrier attacked her llama.

[Llama related crime on the rise?]

8:49 a.m. ­ A caller from Seven Hills Middle School reported a man came to the school at about 7:30 a.m. and kept insisting he needed to see teachers that he had more than 20 years ago. He was “shaving and brushing his teeth in the office.” He was told he could not be on campus during school hours.

[A massive nostalgia attack? The sudden realization that everything you know is wrong?]

5:24 p.m. ­ A caller from the 15100 block of Sunny Hill Road reported a neighbor was dumping fireplace ashes on her driveway.

[And it was not in an effort to cover ice on the driveway to give more traction?]

2:28 p.m. ­ A caller from the 10300 block of Gautier Drive reported his wife was acting "crazy" and had pulled his hair.

[You're married. It happens. There is nothing the police can do.]

8:31 p.m. ­ A caller from the 11200 block of Sierra Circle reported a verbal argument on the porch next door about pistols between a man and a woman who was not wearing a shirt.

[Conflict, guns, and toplessness? Why isn't this on Fox already?]

8:12 a.m. ­ A caller from the Litton Trail between Hughes Road and Sierra College reported a suspicious fox. The fox reportedly "darted" onto the trail at the caller, then did it again 10 minutes later.

[A suspicious fox? Damn their darting ways!]

9:52 a.m. ­ A caller from eastbound Highway 20 reported seeing a dark sedan with a man strapped to the hood with a fire hose. The vehicle could not be located.

[File under: Things you do not see every day... not outside of rural college towns, in any case.]

4:36 p.m. ­ A caller from Brunswick Road reported two men carrying garbage bags were stopping traffic and trying to get rides.

[Garbage bags are pretty low on the list of thing that will help you with your hitchhiking experience.]

5:05 p.m. ­ A caller from the 14000 block of Franciscan Way reported a possibly drunken driver drove through a row of mailboxes and kept driving.

[My uncle did this once. It is hell on the front end of the car as well as the mailboxes.]

10:08 a.m. ­ A woman from the 100 block of Badger Lane reported a woman in her 50s with curly hair walked into her home and was chased out by dogs.

[I don't know why this brings "Li'l Orphan Annie" to mind, or at least "Aged Orphan Annie," but it does.]

11:26 a.m. ­ A woman from the 200 block of Joerschke Drive reported her neighbor tried to run her over with his wheelchair.

[The disabled gone wild.]

10:40 a.m. ­ A caller from Beckman Street reported a woman was going into people’s yards and talking to herself.

[I immediately wondered what she was talking about. Was she talking to an imaginary person, into an imaginary (or real?) radio, or just checking off a mental checklist aloud? "10:32 am, now in the Johnson's yard. Still no killer bees."]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

If Robots Were Alive...

If robots were alive and sentient in the way human beings are, would they be as bemused, disturbed, disgusted, or depressed about the operation of their bodies as I am about mine.

I swear, every time I go to the doctor I move one step further from belief in "the miracle of life" and one step close to "Rube Goldberg the creator."

The #1 argument against intelligent design has to be, "Have you seen how our bodies work?"

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXIII

12:16 a.m. - A woman from the 15000 block of Greenhorn Road reported someone shot a paintball at her window. It was determined by deputies that it was eggs, not paintballs.

[Well, that's okay then.]

9:03 a.m. - A caller from Condon Park reported four men were using the fire pit in the barbecue area, and the flames were very high. The men were using the barbecue as a source of heat.

[Was it a spare the air day? We're not allowed to have fires in the winter any more if the pollution level is high.]

10:23 a.m. - A woman from the 12000 block of Hogan Hill Road reported eggs were put in her newspaper box.

[A breakfast invitation?]

6:46 p.m. - A caller from the 100 block of Mill Street reported finding a gun in the bushes. It was determined to be a child's toy.

[Hard to imagine making this mistake myself, but some people....]

4:25 a.m. - A caller from the 100 block of West Berryhill Drive reported hearing noises like someone was hitting an object outside.

[I realize it is early in the morning, but could you get more specific than "an object?"]

9:22 p.m. - A caller from the 1900 block of Nevada City Highway reported an elderly man, possibly in his boxers, thumbing a ride.

[A rather chilly way to travel. The Sierra's are cold at night in November.]

6:36 a.m. - A caller from the 600 block of Walsh Street reported a man hiding in the bathroom.

[That's just vague enough that I do not know what to say. I hope it wasn't his bathroom.]

1:37 p.m. - A woman from the 500 block of South Auburn Street reported people were following her and that one possibly was a private investigator.

[There is no doubt an interesting story... or a mental health issue... involved here.]

4:27 p.m. - A woman from a business in the 500 block of Sutton Way reported she found her wallet wide open on the floor toward the rear of the business, but it did not appear anything was taken.

[So she called the police to report that she dropped her wallet?]

12:14 p.m. - A woman from the 10000 block of Ridge Road reported her husband was threatening to blow up the house. A loud bang was heard in the background before the line was disconnected. Everything was O.K. when sheriff's deputies arrived.

[Uh... performance art then?]

1:20 p.m. - A caller from the 500 block of Mill Street reported a man washing items in the creek. The man was gold-panning.

[Washing items would probably end up being more useful in the long run.]

5:08 p.m. - A caller from the 900 block of Helling Way reported a goose was stuck in a fishing line near the pond adjacent to the ballfield. The Wildlife Care Center was advised and later it was reported the "goose was loose."

[You do not often get entires in the blotter with their own punch lines.]

4:04 p.m. - A man from the 13000 block of Quaker Hill Cross Road reported a pig was chasing him on his property and would not let him get in his vehicle.

10:36 p.m. - An alarm was reported in the 21000 block of Bear Hollow Road. Wild pigs were on the property and had torn up the yard.

[Pigs on a rampage.]

6 a.m. - A caller from a business on the 400 block of Sierra College Drive reported someone broke into a trailer and took a blower, a hedger and a gas can.

[The suspect will probably have a suddenly well maintained yard.]

5:40 p.m. - A woman from the 11000 block of Upper Circle Drive reported a dead squirrel in her mailbox. She said she previously had found beer cans in the mailbox and has a restraining order against her neighbor.

[Not exactly a scene from "The Godfather."]

7:46 p.m. - A caller from the 14000 block of Rough and Ready Highway reported a man had set up floodlights and was skateboarding.

[Which, if the bumper stickers are to be believed, is not a crime.]

6:21 p.m. - A caller from Mill Street reported loud music coming from a truck in the parking lot. The owner of the truck was asked to turn it down. A second caller reported several people were doing drugs outside and when the officer made contact, they all ran inside.

[Justice thwarted again.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXII

11:34 a.m. A caller from a business in the 100 block of West Main Street reported a recorder was stolen.

[One presumes that they did not mean the instrument that I would dearly like somebody to steal from my daughter.]

4:57 p.m. A woman from the 10000 block of Boulder Hill Drive reported her son was guilty of fraud and theft.

[That's for a jury to decide ma'am.]

10:43 p.m. A woman requested a welfare check on her boyfriend on the 18000 block of River Ranch Road, whom she had last heard from at 6:30 a.m. She said he might be out four-wheeling, and she didn't want to drive up from Sacramento unless he was home.

[Can you see if my boyfriend is home so I don't have to waste my time? Hey, I pay taxes!]

7:28 p.m. A caller from the 300 block of Alta Street reported the residence was open and items were strewn all over the inside. The reporter was standing by in a white shirt and fake blood.

8:15 p.m. A caller from East Main Street reported a teenager dressed up in a construction costume with a stop sign was holding up traffic.

10:07 p.m. A caller from the 200 block of Richardson Street reported a bald man wearing a dress was seen running toward North Church Street, yelling for his purse back.

10:59 p.m. Contact was made with some individuals at a local cemetery who were advised to leave.

[Calls you only get around Halloween.]

4:00 p.m. A caller from Brunswick advised of three cars involved in an "accident" on Brunswick Road near Sutton Way.

[Did the caller make "air quotes" over the phone? Did they suspect it wasn't really an accident?]

10:03 p.m. A caller from Wildlife Lane and You Bet Road reported a fight involving a group of 25 to 30 people.

11:01 p.m. A countywide search was called for a black full size Chevy Blazer with unknown plates that left the Wildlife Lane and You Bet Road area. The vehicle was thought to have three men and one woman aboard. The woman was reported to have a 9 mm handgun.

11:36 p.m. A caller from the 11000 block of Squirrel Creek Road reported a drunk man wearing a gray jump suit who came to the caller's door and stated he was pushed out of a vehicle and subjects were "packing heat."

[Wild times in Grass Valley?]

10:47 a.m. A woman from the 200 block of Dorsey Drive reported her neighbor from upstairs kept banging on her ceiling.

[Welcome to apartment life.]

10:17 a.m. A caller from the 11000 block of Birchville Road reported armed hunters on his property. The same caller had reported hunters the previous day. He was advised to call state Fish and Game.

[Is trespassing not handled by the Sheriff's department these days?]

1:45 p.m. A caller from Brewer Road reported a missing 3-year-old girl, dressed in a pink-and-white sleeper. She was last seen by the garage. The garage and barn had been checked. The girl was found approximately eight minutes later inside the entertainment center; she had been hiding.

[How to take ten years off your parent's lives.]

7:34 p.m. A caller from the 400 block of Pine Street reported a pickup was parked illegally and blocking a wheelchair ramp. Police determined the resident had painted the sidewalk and it was not illegal to park there.

[You apparently cannot just create your own handicap parking spots.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXI

9:39 a.m. - A caller in the 15000 block of Cottrell Road reported that a person was trying to steal his cattle.

[Would that make him a "cattle rustler" or just not a very adept criminal?]

6:07 p.m. - A caller in the 17000 block of Lake Vera Purdon Road reported that a dead deer was in the roadway posing a hazard. Forty minutes later, a caller from the same location reported that the deer got up and ran away.

[Maybe it was just resting.]

6:22 p.m. - A caller on Shire Court reported that their son was threatening to break things and was extremely defiant. The boy was told that he would be booked into Juvenile Hall if he continued to vandalize the property and disobey his parents.

[Every parent's nightmare... the child realizing how tenuous parental control will be.]

10:29 p.m. - A woman at the intersection of Gracie Road and Melanie Court said she could not explain why she thinks a car intentionally hit her mailbox.

[And yet, there she was.]

9:59 a.m. - A man from the 16000 block of Patricia Way said a driver speeding by in a truck threw a solar light onto his property.

[Some sort of drive-by "Go Green" campaign?]

12:36 p.m. - A be-on-the-lookout bulletin was issued for a man about 35 years old wearing light khaki clothing who had just robbed the U.S. Bank in Auburn.

[In all the years I've been reading the blotter, I don't recall ever seeing a simple bank robbery.]

6:37 p.m. - A woman from the 12000 block of Rough and Ready Highway reported a man left a message on her answering machine stating her goats were on his property and he had shot at them. The caller noted that the goats her neighbor was referring to weren't hers, and she wanted a deputy to call the neighbor and ask him to not leave nasty messages on her machine. When the deputy called the neighbor, he said it was better "to shoot the goats than to waste time in court and sue the livestock owner." The deputy advised that calling animal control would be an effective way to stop the goats from coming onto his property.

[It is better to shoot goats than waste time in court. A sentiment for the ages... the middle ages.]

7:14 p.m. - A caller from the 100 block of East Berryhill Drive reported a neighbor repeatedly leaves his window open while not wearing clothes in his home. Officers were to contact the man.

[We don't want to look... but we cannot help ourselves!]

10:27 p.m. - An intoxicated man from the 16500 block of Countrywood Lane reported a "criminal" had just entered his home. The "criminal" got on the phone and said the caller was too drunk to remember him as a friend.

[That's just criminal.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Tenuous Grip on my PIN

I have a strange relationship with the PIN for my ATM card.

I cannot remember it unless I am standing in front of the ATM and, possibly, for the few minutes after that transaction.

If you asked me right now, I could guess at it. I have some inkling about what the numbers could be. But I only know with certainty when I am standing there ready to withdraw some cash.

At least I used to know the numbers with certainty at that point.

I have not had to use the ATM for over two months. It appears that the certainty of knowledge fades with time.

I stood at the ATM today and could not remember my PIN.

I had walked four blocks to the ATM to get some cash so I could buy something lunch, but I had to walk away empty handed. Two guesses at the number and I had to cancel the transaction. After three wrong guesses the machine keeps your card. At least some machines I have run into do that. It has never actually happened to me, but I have never not been able to remember my PIN.

I have had the same PIN for 18 years now. It is in my brain somewhere.

Still, I had better bring my lunch to work tomorrow, just in case.

Sign of Hard Times

My wife is now convinced that we are in economic hard times.

While she has seen the financial disaster unfolding via the nightly news, the front page of the daily paper, and the Yahoo! headlines, for her the true sign came tonight.

There was an ad on prime time television for K-Mart that featured the fact that they offer lay-away plans for Christmas purchases.

If you're under a certain age, you probably have no idea what that is. Click on the link there to learn.

For my wife, the fact that a major retailer is pushing a plan that predates easy credit is more chilling than any financial institution failure.

Hard times are upon us.

Terror in a White Jag

I had set these blotter entries aside in the hope that there would be more on the subject. Alas, it ended up being just these three.

At 2:19 p.m., a caller from a business on the 400 block of Sutton Way reported a woman went onto the business and started yelling. She was asked to leave and was last seen driving a white Jaguar with a dog in the back. A second caller, a landscaper in the area, reported the same woman was acting very odd. Police contacted the 47-year-old woman and issued her a re-evaluation through the Department of Motor Vehicles.

At 1:29 a.m., a caller from the 100 block of Glasson Way reported a woman in a white Jaguar was honking her car horn and yelling in the parking lot in front of the emergency room. She was getting in and out of her vehicle, then left. Police were unable to locate the woman.

At 3:53 a.m., a caller from a store on the 10000 block of Combie Road reported a woman was acting irrationally in the store, talking about her dog. The woman left in a white Jaguar. Deputies contacted the woman, who was at her residence on the 11000 block of Sunset Place. She did not meet the criteria for a mental health evaluation. She said she would be going to sleep.

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)