Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
[Coors Light will not be tolerated here!]
9:07 a.m. — A caller from the 18000 block of Starduster Lane reported a friend was refusing to return a weed trimmer.
[Some friend! The trials of domestic life.]
4:02 p.m. — A woman reported the sale of Halloween costumes at Kmart that closely resemble a Sheriff's deputy uniform.
[Does that say something about KMart or the uniform choices of the Sheriff's department?]
4:53 p.m. — A caller from the 100 block of Neal Street reported a man in a vehicle with a bong. He had a prescription.
[To use while in the car? Does driving make him stressed?]
7:47 p.m. — A caller from the 10000 block of Melody Road reported possible new illegal vehicle dismantling activity.
[Are they dismantling illegal vehicles, or illegally dismantling vehicles?]
12:37 p.m. — A caller from the 200 block of South School Street reported someone continues to set up a chair and computer in a carport.
[The scourge of carport computing continue to threaten.]
4:32 p.m. — A caller from the 200 block of Dorsey Drive reported a drunken man took a syringe and left, carrying a beer.
[Great ambiguity! Did he steal the beer as well, or was that his to start with?]
12:37 a.m. — A caller from the 10000 block of Leecrest Court reported three people with guns were trying to break into a residence. The caller was found to have been hallucinating due to medications.
[A hallucination oddly specific in its ability to provoke a police response.]
6:01 p.m. — A woman from Ridge Road reported hearing a gunshot from the entrance to Mautino Park. Another caller reported hearing an explosion at Mautino Park. The Fire Department investigated and found they were not needed. Public Works was advised to check out the nearby water plant.
[Now I want to know what goes on at the water plant.]
1:36 a.m. — A man from the 800 block of East Main Street reported a girl asked to use his telephone to call her parents but could not reach them. She left, possibly with a male on a bike with her. Police found the girl and arrested her.
[Because we cannot allow that sort of thing to go on... what did she do again?]
Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)
Posted by Herbert Morrison at 5:02 PM
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
4:11 p.m. — A caller from the 300 block of Crown Point Circle reported a van speeding, squealing its tires and doing doughnuts around kids on bikes. The driver was admonished.
[But was he abashed?]
11:45 p.m. — A caller from the 100 block of King Court reported a physical fight involving three drunken people. One was leaving for the night.
[And the other two were going to keep fighting?]
1:49 a.m. — A caller from the 200 block of South Auburn Street reported juveniles yelling. Four adults were found to have been playing tag.
[No alcohol involved with that I'm sure!]
9:44 a.m. — A woman from the 13000 block of Bitney Springs Road reported resenting a helicopter flying over her residence for 30 minutes.
[A burning resentment no doubt, to get her to call the police about it.]
8:33 p.m. — A woman from the 200 block of Richardson Street reported a woman possibly stole money, debit cards and jewelry and might have poisoned her protein drinks.
[Or any one of the above! It could have happened.]
8:46 p.m. — A woman from Julia Ranch Road reported a neighbor let their wolf out.
[I find it more disturbing that they have a wolf.]
7:34 p.m. — A caller from the 11000 block of Cedar Ridge Drive reported an ongoing issue with seven barking dogs.
[There is a Christmas carol in that somewhere...]
7:12 p.m. — A caller from the 11000 block of Lower Circle Drive reported hearing two gunshots, which were found to have been from a cap gun.
[This one makes you wonder about the regular "shots fired" reports that people call in to the GVPD.]
10 a.m. — A woman from the 200 block of Joerschke Drive reported the theft of $40 from her secret hiding spot.
[But she can't tell you where it is, because it is secret.]
10:58 a.m. — A caller from the 1000 block of Sutton Way reported a parent came in the store and then left three children unattended, aged 8, 7 and 1. The parent was contacted and picked up the children.
[IKEA offers day care. Stores in Grass Valley... not so much.]
12:51 a.m. — A caller from South Auburn Street reported loud, belligerent people. A woman was arrested on suspicion of resisting arrest.
[I laugh whenever resisting arrest is the only charge listed, and suspicion thereof is even better.]
8:54 p.m. — A caller from the 16000 block of Annie Drive reported three young men dressed in black suits who came to the door, saying they were missionaries.
[Look for the bicycles. It is the only sure way to tell.]
7:30 p.m. — A caller from West Main Street reported a man skateboarding down the street.
[But your little sticker says that it is not a crime!]
3:15 p.m. — A woman from the 13000 block of Hobart Lane reported her son was tearing up her residence and calling her names. He said she was a hoarder and he was trying to clean up the residence. Code Enforcement was to handle the situation.
[I see this situation happening with my mother-in-law in the not too distant future...]
3:30 a.m. — A caller from the 200 block of Reward Street reported a dumpster fire. It was found to be a vehicle that had been reported stolen out of Pittsburg.
[But was it on fire? Or was the first report completely bogus?]
Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)
Thursday, August 25, 2011
8:16 a.m. — A woman from the 300 block of Pleasant Street reported a man at her window, asking if she wants money and telling her to keep her kids quiet.
[How much money was he offering?]
8:35 a.m. — A caller from the 200 block of Dorsey Drive reported a threat had been carved into a vehicle door.
[That is a pretty determined threat]
9:12 a.m. — A caller from Glen Jones Park reported three drunken men with 12 to 15 cans of Bud Light. They were admonished to clean up and move on.
[Never too early to get started]
4:34 p.m. — A caller from a business in the 700 block of Maltman Drive reported a man bought items with one check and then returned and bought more items with a check under a different name.
[Some criminals have no patience at all]
5:45 p.m. — A caller from the 100 block of McKnight Way reported a shirtless man speaking to himself and making obscene gestures. He was reminded of proper social manners.
[Yeah, at least put a shirt on if you're going to do that!]
10:01 a.m. — A woman from Lime Kiln Road reported she was “leaking.” No response was needed, the woman was getting more medication.
[Something to stop the flow of the leak I presume]
5:44 p.m. — A caller from Mill Street reported a man drinking a Coors while driving.
[I can see his defense already. "Coors? That is hardly beer at all!"]
9:48 a.m. — A caller from the 10000 block of Mountain Rose Road reported a woman screaming. She was found to have been yelling at her dogs to stay away from her donkeys.
[Life in the country]
Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)
Florida Power and Light:
Outage reported: 08/24/11 01:17 PM
Estimated time of restoration: 08/24/11 04:45 PM
Customers affected: 15
Status: We have completed our initial investigation of your power outage and determined that additional resources are necessary to restore your power. We will continue to work until the power is back on.
Cause: A small animal touched our power lines
Last updated: 08/24/2011 03:09 PM
Posted by Herbert Morrison at 3:42 PM
Friday, April 02, 2010
I saw this short quote over at Merle Kessler's blog:
Noted Italian exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth, commented this week that the recent defamatory reporting on Pope Benedict XVI, especially by the New York Times, was ‘prompted by the devil.And my first thought was along the lines of, "When you have a hammer, all your problems begin to look like nails."
But then I went over to Wikipedia to see if Father Amorth had an entry. I mean, it says right in the quote that he is noted, so I figured that might make him, in Wikipedia terms, notable and thus worthy of an entry.
Sure enough, there is an entry about him. But that quote above hardly does him justice. The entry is rich with his beliefs.
For example, his favorite movie? The Exorcist!
Really. Aside from the over-the-top special effects, he thinks people should see the movie so people knows what he does.
Number of exorcisms? 70,000! The man is, literally, a holy terror, exorcising, on average, 8 times a day!
Leading cause of demonic possession?
People have lost the Faith, and superstition, magic, Satanism, or Ouija boards have taken its place, which then open all the doors to the presence of demons.Most common problem after demonic possession? Curses.
Leading cause of curses?
A curse can originate from such things as maledictions by close relatives, a habit of blaspheming, membership in Freemasonry, spiritic or magic practices, and so on.Think about that!
Pet peeve? The new exorcism rites. He says they are:
A blunt weapon.... Efficacious prayers, prayers that had been in existence for twelve centuries, were suppressed and replaced by new ineffective prayersThe man is, if nothing else, hard core.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
I had to go to the DMV this morning to renew my license. Picture, fingerprint, money and I was done. It just took 90 minutes.
The time was allocated as follows:
- Waiting to be called: 50 minutes (Under the G, 46. Oh, that's me!)
- Waiting to get my picture taken: 20 minutes
- Getting out of a parking lot filled with people who should not be allowed to drive: 10 minutes
- Taking the eye test, validating my information: 7 minutes
- Getting my picture actually taken: 2 minutes
- Parking when I arrived: 1 minute
Then, about the time I got called, the dregs of humanity started in through the front door. Fortunately, I was ahead of that wave, so while I waited 20 minutes to get my picture taken, when I walked out I would have guessed that the line for pictures was at least 45 minutes long... probably longer given how many of those people seemed unlikely to be able to handle tasks like standing with their toes on a line drawn on the floor in order to have their picture taken.
Still, I've been through the system, I was pleasant to everybody behind the counter, and I could have passed the eye test from a good 20 feet back from where I actually had to take it. I'm free to be an idiot for a few more years.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I got my W2 tax form from my company today.
As part of the pre-printed form there were ads. Ads for tax preparation, of course, but ads.
So it has come to this, ads on with my tax forms.
I just wonder who got the revenue, my company or ADP who does the payroll processing.
Posted by Herbert Morrison at 7:42 AM
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Traditionally, as a manager with a group that currently consists of 12 direct reports, one of my yearly performance goals has been employee retention.
I was measured as a manager by how few people left my organization for other opportunities.
Even through the last economic downturn it was recognized that keeping key people was important to the ongoing operation of the business.
Then we were acquired last year by a very large corporation, of which software development in general, and my part of the development in particular, were such tiny parts of the overall revenue stream as to be invisible on the balance sheet.
For this year, retention disappeared from my goals.
I was just given my goals for next year. I now have an attrition goal.
I will now be measured as a manager by how well I can drive a specific number of people to pursue opportunities elsewhere.
I suppose that takes the pressure off of my worries about morale in the software development group.
Friday, September 25, 2009
2:05 a.m. - A man from the 300 block of South Church Street reported his roommate had been drinking and was "disillusioned." He said the roommate believed he doesn’t exist and was in his room with a machete.
[So we're primarily concerned with the existence of the machete then?]
10:22 p.m. - A caller from the 14000 block of Nutmeg Court reported an ex-employee embezzled a vehicle.
[I think when they end up with a vehicle, it ceases to be embezzlement and moves more into fraud and theft.]
10:12 p.m. - A caller from the 14000 block of Pleasant Valley Road reported a Volkswagen Beetle was spinning doughnuts in a field.
[I'm going to guess it was one of the "new" Beetles and not your classic pre-1975 VW.]
7:48 a.m. - A caller reported a large amount of bullets had been spilled onto the roadway at Charles Drive and Grass Valley Avenue.
[Ammunition spills are pretty rare.]
10:06 a.m. - A caller from the 12900 block of Amber Street said a neighbor was outside screaming that he was going to burn down houses and kill everyone. The neighbor's wife was at the caller's residence. Responding deputies restored the peace.
[What gets a man that riled up at 10 in the morning? I can't get that worked up until at least mid-afternoon most days.]
1:24 p.m. - A man from the 12700 block of Brunswick Road said someone put on Craig's List that he was having an estate sale Sunday and he did not place the item on the Internet.
[The classic "and what do you want the police to do about it?" situation.]
9:49 p.m. - A caller from the 11700 block of Upper Circle Drive reported a golf cart went by his residence and a person was throwing lit matches out of it. The caller said he reviewed his surveillance tapes and recognized one of the people in the golf cart.
[This seems amusing, unless you live in Grass Valley and it is fire season. I was surprised to not see an additional report about teens stealing golf carts to joy ride again.]
10:58 p.m. - A caller from the 14000 block of Torrey Pines Drive reported a golf cart had rolled over. A person was arrested on unknown charges.
[But no theft report.]
9:31 a.m. - A caller from the 100 block of Cornish Lane reported a large tool theft at the residence the prior evening. The caller said a neighbor heard a vehicle around the home between 10 and 11 p.m. Officers took a report for theft.
[And how large of a tool did they take? Ambiguity, a humor essential. Plus there is potential sexual innuendo.]
3:45 p.m. - A person in the lobby of the police station reported a possible fraud by AT&T. The person was urged to contact AT&T to clarify the charges on their bill.
[I bet this person is even now complaining how the police are totally in the pocket of the phone company.]
12:58 a.m. - A caller from Nevada City Highway reported seeing a mountain lion. No mountain lion was spotted, but a dog the color of a mountain lion was seen.
[A big dog presumably.]
8:45 a.m. - A caller from the 11000 block of Alta Sierra Drive reported a man sitting in a vehicle for several hours. He was out of gas.
[And hadn't realized it? Being out of gas is a problem solved rather easily, but you have to leave the vehicle.]
11:55 a.m. - A woman from the 13000 block of Wood Rose Way reported a toddler loitering by the mailboxes the day before.
[Can a toddler actually loiter in a legal sense?]
8:42 p.m. - A caller from the 13000 block of Blank Court reported people were firing shots over a wheelbarrow. A person threatened to shoot the caller earlier in the evening over the wheelbarrow. The suspect was leaving in an SUV with the wheelbarrow on top. The caller agreed to put his gun away and would wait for a deputy. Neither party wanted to be "the victim."
[I hope that wheelbarrow was worth it.]
Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)