Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CII

4:22 p.m. - A woman called from the 600 block of Brighton Street to report her neighbor told her a woman in a white Ford Explorer was taking pictures of her dogs. The woman in the SUV refused to tell the neighbor what she was doing and left the area. Patrol officers were advised.

[I suspect those people at I Has A Hotdog]

7:58 p.m. - A caller from the 200 block of Broad Street reported she was punched in the side of the head by a 20- to 30-year-old heavy-set man with bleached blonde hair. The man had been seen sleeping on a bench about 30 minutes before.

[Didn't we read about this last time?]

11:55 a.m. - A large emu was reported running amuck on Freeman Lane. Officers caught the animal.

[More rogue emu as well.]

10:50 a.m. - A business on the 400 block of Idaho-Maryland Road reported finding narcotics in a patrol vehicle they were working on.

[An LAPD level of evidence handling there. Or was that for recreational use?]

2:55 p.m. - A caller from the 16800 block of Kiwi Road reported that someone had tapped into their NID pipe and were stealing all their water.

[Not just some of their water but ALL of their water. I think, in that case, it isn't a tap any more.]

11:33 a.m. - A caller from the business on the 1200 block of Main Street reported counterfeit $5 bills.

[Now that is low budget. It has to cost that much in time, effort, and ink to make a fake bill.]

2:30 p.m. - A caller from the 400 block of Neal Street reported the neighbor's dog had been barking all day. An officer located the dog, which was stuck in a ditch, and freed it. The dog was no longer barking.

[A little bit of effort.]

6:39 a.m. - A caller from a store on the 800 block of Sutton Way reported a man wearing a plaid shirt and white tennis shoes was demanding free items from store employees and he was refusing to leave. Police contacted the 59-year-old man and told him to leave the store.

[Yeah, we've all seen him in the store before.]

10:49 a.m. - A caller from a store on the 700 block of Sutton Way reported two people climbed into the window of a green van. The caller thought the people were trying to steal the van. Police determined one of the people was the owner of the van, which was having mechanical problems.

[Mechanical problems including the keys being locked inside?]

7:19 p.m. - A mother called from the 11000 block of Lower Circle Road to report a person was under the influence of alcohol and mushrooms. The woman requested deputies arrive without a siren. Deputies determined the person was not under the influence of a controlled substance, but had been drinking. The mother would call back if the person continued to cause a disturbance.

[Things are bad enough around here without having you roar up with the sirens blaring.]

8:53 p.m. - A caller from the 19000 block of Victoria Drive reported a very drunk person was attempting to leave the residence. The caller hid the keys, but it appeared the person was trying to hot-wire a white Ford Taurus. A deputy determined the person had gone to sleep for the evening.

[I think that would be more accurately termed "passed out" for the evening.]

12:44 p.m. - A caller from the 17000 block of Lasso Loop reported a drunken woman was passed out on the floor. The woman was being combative. The woman was transported to the hospital.

[It is hard to be on the floor drunk and believably combative at the same time.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)