Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CX

8:37 a.m. - A caller from the 100 block of Samantha Way reported a can of baked beans had been dumped on her car.

[There is a first for the blotter.]

11:04 a.m. - A caller from the 100 block of Catherine Lane reported someone was throwing rocks at her upstairs apartment when the reporting party noticed her rug was on fire.

[Coincidend? Crude warning method?]

1:33 p.m. - A caller found a large knife under a tree at the entrance to Minnie Park. Officers booked the knife in as evidence.

[Evidence of what?]

8:48 a.m. - A caller from the 10000 block of Alta Street reported a juvenile who was dropped off at school but was refusing to stay.

[As a child, this approach never even occurred to me.]

11:45 a.m. - Officers arrested a 20-year-old man on the 900 block of Sutton Way on suspicion of possessing less than an ounce of marijuana and booked him into the Nevada County jail.

[There isn't much to this one, except every time I read that charge, I think to myself "None is less than an ounce, right?"]

9:49 p.m. - A caller from McKnight Way reported a man hitchhiking dangerously.

[Yes, as if it wasn't risky enough, we have to get into extreme hitchhiking.]

1:06 p.m. - A caller from the 200 block of Gates Place reported an ex-employee who has been coming to the business and taking things off the computer. The caller said the ex-employee has told the owner he would sell the information back to the company.

[Here we have, "My First Extortion Racket."]

9:57 p.m. - A man from the 19000 block of Tara Lane reported a large bear in the bed of his truck. The man said the bear would not move, even if he activated the car alarm. He said he called the Department of Fish and Game who said they will not respond.

[That's going to be an interesting call to work if there bear is still there in the morning.]

9:05 a.m. - A caller from the 200 block of Mill Street reported a woman who had sent about three letters in the mail to the Grass Valley/Nevada County Chamber of Commerce regarding people and businesses who are supposedly threatening to kill her. The caller requested contact with officers.

[Murder being something that the chamber of commerce usually tries to steer clear of.]

9:20 a.m. - A caller in the 600 block of Zion Street reported finding a dead woodpecker in his bathtub. He told officers he believed the bird was put there intentionally. Later, the caller reported that he found a hole in the wall that allowed the bird access to the bathtub.

[So no mysterious "sign of the woodpecker" message to decipher then? We won't need those meddling kids I guess.]

12:55 a.m. - Police reported that a vehicle ran two flashing red lights at East Main and South Auburn streets. The subject told police he was from Israel and did not know what the flashing red lights at the intersections meant.

[I wonder how far that got him... or if he cared.]

5:59 p.m. - A woman from the 300 block of South Auburn Street reported a juvenile skateboarding on her roof. A similar call came in from a home on Buena Vista Avenue. Responding officers found the skateboarder and arrested him on suspicion of giving police officers a false identity and booked him into the Nevada County jail.

[I'll bet he says it was worth it.]

12:04 a.m. - A woman heard some glass breaking in her garage and thought it might be a mountain lion.

[Damn those clumsy mountain lions.]

9:45 a.m. - A woman from the 15000 block of Sunny Hill Road reported her neighbor made an obscene gesture at her the day before.

[I'm sure the police will get right on that.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)