Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CXII

11:34 a.m. A caller from a business in the 100 block of West Main Street reported a recorder was stolen.

[One presumes that they did not mean the instrument that I would dearly like somebody to steal from my daughter.]

4:57 p.m. A woman from the 10000 block of Boulder Hill Drive reported her son was guilty of fraud and theft.

[That's for a jury to decide ma'am.]

10:43 p.m. A woman requested a welfare check on her boyfriend on the 18000 block of River Ranch Road, whom she had last heard from at 6:30 a.m. She said he might be out four-wheeling, and she didn't want to drive up from Sacramento unless he was home.

[Can you see if my boyfriend is home so I don't have to waste my time? Hey, I pay taxes!]

7:28 p.m. A caller from the 300 block of Alta Street reported the residence was open and items were strewn all over the inside. The reporter was standing by in a white shirt and fake blood.

8:15 p.m. A caller from East Main Street reported a teenager dressed up in a construction costume with a stop sign was holding up traffic.

10:07 p.m. A caller from the 200 block of Richardson Street reported a bald man wearing a dress was seen running toward North Church Street, yelling for his purse back.

10:59 p.m. Contact was made with some individuals at a local cemetery who were advised to leave.

[Calls you only get around Halloween.]

4:00 p.m. A caller from Brunswick advised of three cars involved in an "accident" on Brunswick Road near Sutton Way.

[Did the caller make "air quotes" over the phone? Did they suspect it wasn't really an accident?]

10:03 p.m. A caller from Wildlife Lane and You Bet Road reported a fight involving a group of 25 to 30 people.

11:01 p.m. A countywide search was called for a black full size Chevy Blazer with unknown plates that left the Wildlife Lane and You Bet Road area. The vehicle was thought to have three men and one woman aboard. The woman was reported to have a 9 mm handgun.

11:36 p.m. A caller from the 11000 block of Squirrel Creek Road reported a drunk man wearing a gray jump suit who came to the caller's door and stated he was pushed out of a vehicle and subjects were "packing heat."

[Wild times in Grass Valley?]

10:47 a.m. A woman from the 200 block of Dorsey Drive reported her neighbor from upstairs kept banging on her ceiling.

[Welcome to apartment life.]

10:17 a.m. A caller from the 11000 block of Birchville Road reported armed hunters on his property. The same caller had reported hunters the previous day. He was advised to call state Fish and Game.

[Is trespassing not handled by the Sheriff's department these days?]

1:45 p.m. A caller from Brewer Road reported a missing 3-year-old girl, dressed in a pink-and-white sleeper. She was last seen by the garage. The garage and barn had been checked. The girl was found approximately eight minutes later inside the entertainment center; she had been hiding.

[How to take ten years off your parent's lives.]

7:34 p.m. A caller from the 400 block of Pine Street reported a pickup was parked illegally and blocking a wheelchair ramp. Police determined the resident had painted the sidewalk and it was not illegal to park there.

[You apparently cannot just create your own handicap parking spots.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)