Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. I

At 2:14 p.m., a caller from the hospital reported receiving a package with 19 .45-caliber shells inside and another package filled with medical supplies.

[How odd... medical supplies being delivered to a hospital.]

At 8:18 p.m., a man called from the 13000 block of Indian Springs Road to report his ex-girlfriend spit in his face during a child exchange and made threats to physically harm his new girlfriend.

[I was looking for a follow-up assault arrest... but no such luck.]

At 11:25 p.m., a caller from the 16000 block of Lower Colfax Road reported two men wearing pants pulled down low were in her driveway throwing rocks at her residence and harassing her animals for the last five minutes. It had been happening for the last couple of days. Deputies were unable to locate the men.

[I think the traditional response to this is to run out and shout, "You kids get off my lawn!"]

At 4:38 p.m., a caller from Idaho Maryland Drive and East Main Street reported seeing a suspicious-looking man wearing all black with a black top hat and a holstered gun. Police made contact with the man and everything was OK.

[The suspicious armed man all in black... he's O-K! A top hat though?]

At 9:49 p.m., a caller from Cordell Court reported hearing a sound like someone was yelling for help. It was unknown whether the sound was a parrot. The caller was concerned someone may be hurt. Deputies checked the area and were unable to locate the sound.

[It is unclear how a parrot became part of this report. Did the caller bring it up? Did the dispatcher? Were the yells for help mixed in with phrases like "pretty bird?"]

At 1:57 p.m., a caller from a business on the 100 block of Neal Street reported a man using the phone may be under the influence. Police arrested the 20-year-old man for probation violation and possession of an opium pipe.

[Possession of an opium pipe! No doubt the police will find volumes of romantic era poets at his residence.]

At 12:46 p.m., a caller from the 900 block of Maidu Avenue reported a woman was causing a disturbance. A deputy arrived and she punched him in the stomach. The 59-year-old woman was arrested for battery on a peace officer.

[Not a smart move. I hope he was wearing his protective vest at the time.]

At 1:36 a.m., a caller reported juveniles were carrying signs and when the caller confronted the juveniles they left the signs in the front yard. The signs say "hard core" and the caller would hold the signs until they're reported stolen because they would not fit in a patrol car. The juveniles were interviewed as possible suspects.

[I don't think there is much in the way of a red light district in Grass Valley. Was there a skater convention in town maybe? And now the caller has signs that say "hard core."]

At 3:54 a.m., a person came into the police lobby to complain about a convenience store clerk locking the door then being rude. The person said there was no criminal activity, but requested the department use its "peace officer powers" to resolve the issue. The person was advised a private business can open and close at the owner's discretion, and although the clerk was rude, it was not a crime.

[I just like the phrase "peace officer powers" and the idea that they could be used to combat rudeness and unreasonable closing times.]

At 8:05 a.m., a man in the police station lobby wanted to talk to an officer about hazardous cell phone use during driving. He said someone almost ran him off the road.

[I think the station lobby might be the place to hang out.]

At 12:16 p.m., a woman called from a business on the 15000 block of Roving Way and said she contacted a man yesterday about him getting repairs done. The man stated that if she sent out the same worker, he would "shoot him." The woman requested a log entry for the incident.

[I gather that his work was not up to par.]

At 12:23 p.m., police stopped a man who was parked in a restaurant parking lot on Nevada City Highway and told him to sober up before driving again. The man drove off in a tan Ford and police arrested and booked him into Wayne Brown Correctional Facility on suspicion of drunken driving.

[And yet there is no law against stupidity.]

At 4:35 p.m., a caller from the 500 block of Whiting Street reported there were people in the pool having sex. An officer contacted all parties.

[I originally read this as "An officer contacted all INTERESTED parties" which lead to a mental image of a very crowded pool scene. The caller does not mention to whom the pool belongs. If it was his pool and he wasn't involved, I could see him calling it in.]

At 6:17 p.m., a woman from the 600 block of Packard Drive reported she and her family were picnicking under a tent when an arrow tore through the canvass and landed on the table. No one was injured.

[This reminded me of taking archery in P.E. in high school. Boy, there was a dumb idea. Give some 14 year olds bows and arrows and let them shoot at targets near the fence of a residential zone. We never came back with as many arrows as we took out.]

At 3 a.m., a caller from George Way reported dogs had been barking at a neighbor's house for three hours and was worried something might be wrong. A deputy found the dogs were barking at the wind.

[The wind!]

At 1:46 a.m., a man was reportedly passed out on the ground on the 200 block of Broad Street. Other people helped him up and he took a cab home.

[And they all lived happily ever after.]

At 5:53 a.m., a caller from Bennett Street reported an elderly white female with a floral shirt and a bag was walking in the middle of the roadway. The woman was located and was no longer a hazard.

[Grass Valley: Where they call the police when old people jay walk.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)