Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XV

At 8:07 a.m., a caller from Sierra Foothill High School reported a student was assaulted by another student. Police arrested a juvenile and the juvenile was booked into Juvenile Hall.

[I include this only to recognize the achievement of using the word "juvenile" three times in a sentence. Still, the could have gone for four if they had added "for his juvenile behavior" to the end. A missed opportunity.]

At 1:21 p.m., a caller from Highway 49 and Cerrito Road reported a man was stomping his feet, flipping people off and walking into the highway. Police transported the man to his home. He was having a psychotic episode.

[In San Francisco they wouldn't even give this guy the time of day.]

At 8:28 p.m., several people called from Squirrell Creek Road to report hearing shots in the area and people yelling loudly. Deputies made contact and there seemed to be fireworks in the area.

[There "seemed" to be fireworks in the area. They also felt a disturbance in the force.]

At 8:31 p.m., a caller from Lode Line Way reported loud noises. Deputies admonished people for having illegal fireworks,

[Good thing somebody was on the ball, but did the deputies confiscate the fireworks?]

At 11:30 p.m., a man called from Auburn Road to report his neighbor was walking up and down the street howling like a coyote. He said this happens almost every night.

[Another chapter in the annals of neighbor relations.]

At 11:02 a.m., a caller from Scopar Road reported a person was shooting and five or six shots were heard. Deputies made contact with a man and determined he was shooting in a safe manner.

[Rural living. As long as you are being safe, blaze away as you like!]

At 4:44 p.m., dispatchers notified local law enforcement to be on the lookout for a 64-year-old man driving a white Ford Thunderbird. The man called a friend while he was driving from Bakersfield to Placer County area and he said he was going to go on a killing spree and then kill himself. It was unknown if he had any weapons.

[I will be watching the front page to see if this goes anywhere.]

At 11:59 p.m., a caller from the 11000 block of Myrna Drive reported smelling a very strong odor of drugs coming from the area. It was a very pungent, strong odor. Deputies checked the area. The scent was caused by a skunk.

[What drug did the caller thing he was smelling. I need a skunk/drug smell joke here.]

At 10:41 p.m., a caller from Mill Street at Neal Street reported a bicycle went through the front window of a business and a person was bleeding and injured.

[I just have to say , "Ouch!"]

At 12:59 a.m., police arrested the 41-year-old man who went through the window on his bike earlier. He was arrested on Badger Street at South Auburn Street for being drunk in public.

[He went through the window then fled the scene, remaining at large for over three drunken hours.]

At 12:18 a.m., a woman from the 200 block of Brock Road called 911 to report a pet had stolen an item. She advised she was not involved in any illegal pet adoption scheme. Police found the woman was under the influence of alcohol and medication.

[It always pays to point out to the police unlawful schemes in which you have no involvement. That does not look suspicious at all.]

At 9:49 a.m., a caller reported a woman was slumped over the steering wheel of a red Subaru at South Ponderosa Way. An ambulance responded. The woman was fine. She just wanted to be alone.

[I've been there.]

Source: The Union (

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