Friday, September 29, 2006

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XIX

At 1:48 p.m., a caller from the 500 block of Whiting Street reported a juvenile male was swinging nunchucks at other juveniles. The boy was gone by the time police arrived.

[But the legend survives to this day.]

At 6:04 p.m., a caller from Highway 174 reported a man was sleeping near the top of an overpass. Three juveniles appeared to be headed toward him, two with sticks and one with a video camera. Police made contact with the juveniles, and the sleeping man was gone by the time police arrived.

[Has anybody check YouTube for the video?]

At 5:39 a.m., a man called to report a taxi driver was yelling obscenities at him earlier in the day at Memorial Park. The caller has a restraining order against the driver's girlfriend. The man said he would get a restraining order against the driver. Police made contact with the driver, advised him to stop, and the driver was agreeable.

[It is nice to see people being reasonable about their aggressions.]

At 6:18 p.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Castaway Court requested deputy contact regarding the theft of marijuana plants yesterday. Deputies took a report.

[More on a theme. You could use this to draw the connection between drugs and crime I suppose.]

At 6:38 p.m., a caller from the 16000 block of Angelina Way reported a person kept entering his residence and taking his books to drive him crazy

[Theft with intent to disturb a state of mind? Isn't that a special circumstances crime? Had the caller tried locking the door?]

At 9:48 p.m., a caller from the 17000 block of Anona Court reported a woman was out of control, breaking windows while two children slept. The caller also said the woman hit him in the face with a trash can. Deputies arrested the 31-year-old woman for spousal abuse and damaging a telephone line.

[Breaking Windows While Two Children Slept? Didn't Maya Angelou write that? Trash-can-in-the-face-fu and damaging a telephone line in the bargain!]

At 8:47 a.m., a caller from the 13000 block of Idaho-Maryland Road reported a mailbox was blown up.

[Now this is what I want on video.]

At 8:25 p.m., a caller from a gas station/mini mart on Hughes Road reported a smelly device had been detonated near the gas pumps. Police made contact and all was OK.

[A smelly device! Olfactory Al Qeda is on the move! But, in the end, all was OK! Smell Threat Alert: Yellow]

At 9:06 p.m., a reckless driver in a white Mercedes failed to stop when a police officer turned on the lights and sirens on his patrol car. Local law enforcement was advised.

[Wasn't law enforcement involved in the first place?]

At 9:39 p.m., a man reported his wallet was stolen from his vehicle. His wallet was found at a liquor store on the 200 block of Colfax Avenue. All of the wallet's contents were intact and it was returned to him.

[But he wasn't arrested for being drunk in public. That would be my choice for punch line.]

At 7:53 p.m., a man called from the 18000 block of Mustang Valley Place to report 20-25 goats were loose on his property. He didn't know whose goats they were but they were tagged. Animal Control was notified and the caller would keep them contained until the morning.

[Loose goats! You just have to live in the right (wrong?) location for this to happen.]

At 8:22 p.m., a woman called from the 17000 block of Brewer Road reported people were going across her property to get to her neighbor's medicinal marijuana garden. She said it happened a few times a week. People have also been coming across Wolf Creek to sneak onto her neighbor's property. Her neighbor said the people were all wearing camouflage.

[Marijuana is tearing the community apart! Or at least screwing up this woman's lawn.]

At 3:54 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Clay Street reported fraudulent use of a credit card. A motorhome was purchased on e-Bay. No money had been lost yet.

[A motorhome? I want to know how the person or persons planned to get away with this.]

At 5:42 p.m., a caller from Commercial Street reported a man was laying across the sidewalk and refusing to move for several people, after being asked many times. Police checked the area and were unable to locate the man.

[I picture this guy protesting something very important too... yet he was probably just drunk.]

At 8:54 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of Grove Street reported her ex-boyfriend called her 96 times today.

[The caller was advised of the restraining order process.]

At 8:26 p.m., a caller from a hospital reported a man with dreadlocks and dark clothing was acting strange, doing karate moves and had no reason for being on hospital property. A security guard advised the man was there on hospital business.

[Not every hospital has Patch Adams at their disposal.]

At 1:32 p.m., a caller from Highway 174 reported an unknown item wrapped in a blue towel in a black bag had a foul odor. A deputy determined it was a fish.

[A fish! A smelly device! We have a theme going! Smell Threat Alert: Orange]

At 1:38 p.m., a caller from the 13000 block of Spenceville Road reported the theft of a horse by an ex-employee of a ranch. Deputies took a report for grand theft.

[Is there any money to be made in horse thievery these days?]

At 10:34 p.m., a 911 caller from the 10000 block of Carrington Lane could be heard crying and a man was heard talking in the background. Deputies responded and arrested a 39-year-old man for spousal abuse, making threats and damaging a telephone line.

[Not amusing, but included just because I now feel compelled to list all items that include the crime of "damaging a telephone line or equipment."]

At 11:55 a.m., a woman called from the 10000 block of Spenceville Road to report threatening phone calls. She said someone from an online pharmacy was trying to kill her.
[Drugs are ever the bane of our society! Still, the idea that someone from an online pharmacy is trying to kill you is pretty good as far as delusions go.]

At 9:07 a.m., a caller from the 100 block of Nevada City Highway reported a man was at a school earlier and tore up a newspaper and requested a copy of a yearbook so he could identify students who had harassed him.

[And the crime being reported is? Infringing the rights of a free press? Damaging a newspaper?]

At 9:42 a.m., a caller from the 300 block of Mill Street reported a possible car burglary by a man with a mustache wearing a hat. Police made contact and there was no crime. The man was helping someone with a vehicle.

[We remain ever vigilant in Grass Valley!]

Source: The Union (

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