Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XX

At 12:15 p.m., a caller reported illegal camping. Police made contact and there was no transient camp but a stolen sign from E. Daniels Park was located.

[At least it was not a wasted trip.]

At 10:40 a.m., a caller from the 14000 block of Orzalli Way reported a neighbor shot the caller's dog. Animal Control took a report and would investigate.

[I would think that shooting someone's dog would warrant more than diverting the Animal Control truck from picking up road kill to possibly picking up a dead dog.]

At 2:26 p.m., a woman at the sheriff's office front counter said someone entered a home on the 11000 block of Vista Avenue and took recording equipment. The woman didn't know if weapons were involved. The woman later said someone entered the home on Sept. 22, grabbed her boyfriend by the neck and forcefully took the equipment with a gun to the boyfriend's head. Police took a report for robbery, burglary and kidnapping.

[Since this came in on Sept. 26, the woman, aside from seeming confused on the details, also appears to be somewhat unconcerned about the fate of her boyfriend.]

At 8:21 a.m., a caller from Highway 49 at Little Valley Road reported theft of dirt from a county project. Workers were taking dirt from one pile to a job on Stinson Drive.

[Grass Valley, ever vigilant!]

At 10:04 a.m., a caller from a business on Alta Sierra Drive reported a man with multiple tattoos was walking around the area acting suspiciously.

["Suspiciously" no doubt being defined as "flagrantly having multiple tattoos visible."]

At 2:08 p.m., a caller reported that a golf cart sped through a crosswalk on South Auburn Street near the thrift store and almost hit a pedestrian.

[I repeat, "Golf cart on a rampage!"]

At 11:17 a.m., a caller on the 100 block of Stewart Street reported that a Buddha statue was stolen.

[Oh, now that is going to cost somebody... depending on what their belief system is I suppose....]

At 12:07 p.m., Maria's restaurant reported a man who couldn't pay for his meal. Restaurant staff said they would call police again if the man did not return with the money.

[At that point you really have to tip big to get a "Please come again."]

At 3:19 a.m., a caller from the 200 block of Commercial Street reported that a man and a woman were possibly having intercourse in public.

[I remember when I couldn't tell just by looking either.]

At 2:24 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of McKnight Way reported a man with a shaved head wearing a cowboy hat was asking about laptops at electronics stores. The caller believed the man had a fake credit card. Police made contact with the 27-year-old man and arrested him for burglary, altering or falsifying identification, receiving stolen property, possessing bad checks, theft of an access card, and possession of a controlled substance.

[A bad hombre all around I guess. It probably wasn't even his hat.]

At 4:58 p.m., a woman called to report baseballs were being hit from the Condon Park baseball field into her yard. Police cited four people for being over the field's 12-year-old age limit. All four were removed from the park for 72 hours.

[What is the mechanism for removing them for 72 hours? Admonishment? And why 72 hours?]

At 1:09 p.m., a caller from the 15000 block of Banner Lava Cap Road reported a domestic disturbance. Police made contact. The disturbance was a verbal fight about burned bacon.

[Any excuse for a party I guess.]

At 8:51 p.m., a man called from the 11000 block of North Bloomfield Road to report someone put an explosive device in his mailbox.

[I see the continuation of a theme here.]

At 2:42 p.m., a caller from Nevada City Highway at Brunswick Road reported a man with a beard and a mustache wearing a black rain poncho threw some gloves into a garbage can.

[Man caught not littering, film at 11.]

At 4:50 p.m., a woman called from the 10000 block of Little Deer Road reported someone broke out the windows to her home. She also said she had to "flee" the house because a person was threatening to beat her up. Deputies determined the issue was of a civil nature, not criminal.

[I guess that no telephone equipment was damaged during this event.]

At 9:06 a.m., a caller from West Main Street near Alta Street reported a woman was jumping on top of a vehicle.

[Exercise is where you find it I suppose.]

At 4:10 a.m., a caller from the 12000 block of Cement Hill Road reported he needed to turn himself in because he thought he may have killed someone. Deputies responded. The man's claims were unfounded.

[Still, you cannot be to careful with these sorts of things. Have you killed someone today? Are you sure?]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)