Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XXV

At 7:23 p.m., a woman called from the 200 block of Sutton Way to report "she just ran over her old man" on Dog Bar Road. Police made contact with the woman, and the CHP determined the incident was not a hit and run. No response was needed.

[My wife and I have an agreement. Referring to each other as our old man/old lady is grounds for divorce.]

At 3:05 p.m., a woman reported her ex-boyfriend threw a rock through her window. She refused to give the name of the man and asked police not to respond.

[The police must just love this sort of call.]

At 5:17 p.m., police arrested a 21-year-old man in the police station lobby for car theft.

[Some times the fish just jumps in your boat.]

At 7:31 p.m., police arrested a 44-year-old man on Henderson Street for attempted spousal abuse and damaging a telephone line.

[Just another entry for the telephone line patrol. Is there always spousal abuse involved with the charge of damaging a telephone line?]

At 7:58 p.m., a woman called from the 300 block of Bennett Street to report her 17-year-old son as a runaway. She does not have custody of her son. Child Protective Services has custody and was supposed to report him as a runaway. Police made contact with CPS and took a report for a runaway juvenile.

[One hopes at this point that the child has, in fact, run away. Think of the paperwork if it turns out he just went down to the store.]

At 12:28 a.m., a caller from the 700 block of South Auburn Street reported a man was prowling in the area. Police made contact with the man who was upset over possible eviction. He was advised to refrain from prowling.

[No prowling! Tell that to my cats.]

At 8:44 a.m., a woman called from the 200 block of Fairmont Drive to say she wanted her sister removed from the premises. There was yelling then the sister left in her car. The caller did not want her sister stopped and would not give a description of the vehicle. An officer made contact and the argument was only verbal. The woman did not want to press charges.

[Family fun for the whole... um... family.]

At 2:36 p.m., a man called from the 15000 block of Duggans Road to report the theft of a landscaping rake from his driveway. He said the rake had been for sale for $800. Deputies took a report for grand theft.

[It was right next to my $600 shovel... wait, where is my shovel?]

At 9:23 p.m., a caller from the 400 block of Neal street reported three teen boys, two with skateboards, took a pumpkin off a doorstep and rolled it down the street. Police checked the area and were unable to locate the juveniles. No information was available about the pumpkin.

[The pumpkin remains at large.]

At 5:38 a.m., a 20-year-old man went to the police station to report he had taken medication in violation of his probation and he wanted to turn himself in. The man was arrested on suspicion of being under the influence of a controlled substance and violating probation.

[Why do you think they call it "dope?"]

At 4:09 p.m., a caller from the 13000 block of Lake Wildwood Drive reported someone was stealing from her mailbox. She was missing six bills.

[I tried that excuse once with the phone company. They were surprisingly unsympathetic.]

At 10:24 a.m., a woman called from the 18000 block of Norlene Way to report she listed a couch for sale on Craigslist and someone said he wanted to send her a check for more than the asking price of the couch and he wanted her to send back the difference. The woman was advised no crime occurred; just intent. She was advised to report the incident to Craigslist.

[Well, points for not falling for it.]

At 8:27 a.m., a caller from the 15000 block of Green Way Place reported a woman was under the influence of alcohol and was trying to break back into the home. The woman wanted more alcohol and the caller wouldn't let her have any.

[There must be an interesting story behind this.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)