Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XXI

At 12:11 p.m., a woman called from the 200 block of South School Street to say she was concerned about a sign that was taken from her residence and burned over the weekend.

[A sign related to the upcoming election perhaps?]

At 4:46 p.m., a caller from a business on the 100 block of Olympia Park Road reported a man with a shaved head and goatee stole some gloves. Police were unable to locate the man and took a report.

[Is this connected at all with the man last week who put some gloves in a garbage can? Is there some sort glove conspiracy going on here, or is somebody just trying to get an O.J. reference out of me.]

At 7:33 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Dorsey Drive reported a man talking to young men in an apartment complex was scaring them by saying he "just got out of being locked up."

[A new twist on scared straight I guess.]

At 2:54 p.m., a caller from E. Daniels Park reported a man in a black and white parka was being foul and smoking. Police arrested the 21-year-old man for an outstanding warrant.

[I suppose he could have been in a chicken suit, being fowl and clucking. And he had a warrant! No Surprise there.]

At 5:26 p.m., a caller from the 2000 block of Nevada City Highway reported a person drove away with a gas nozzle still in the vehicle. The caller stopped the customer and it was store policy they record the customer's driver's license. The driver was refusing and asking for an officer.

[I just want the YouTube video for this one.]

At 6:12 p.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Travertine Court reported an unknown person had cut threatening words into her backyard with a chain saw. Deputies responded and there was no vandalism. The caller said she would see her doctor to change her medication.

[I had high hopes for this at the end of the first sentence. Chain saw graffiti! But then it became another case of medication impairment.]

At 10:04 p.m., a caller from the 11000 block of Torrey Pines Road reported a credit card was stolen and used to pay for phone sex numbers. Deputies took a report for theft.

[Yes. It was stolen. Like I told my wife, *I* certainly did not call those phone sex numbers.]

At 2:08 a.m., a caller from a bar on the 29000 block of Highway 49 reported a physical fight with more than 10 beer bottles being used as weapons. The caller said the fight was no longer physical, but someone had a head injury and was vomiting. Deputies arrested a 23-year-old man for assault with a deadly weapon and battery with serious bodily injury.

[I remember in college at one point we learned that you have to hit a beer bottle just right to break it into something resembling a weapon.]

At 7:56 a.m., law enforcement was on the lookout for a person who was involved in the bar fight and may have head injuries from the confrontation.

[Six hours later and we're still looking for the puking guy.]

At 11:16 a.m., a woman called from the 11000 block of Myrna Way to report a burglary to her home this weekend while she was out of town. She couldn't tell if anything was missing. Rocks around the fireplace and rocks outside were painted and it wasn't like that when she left. She said some of her plants were dying and she thought someone was trying to kill them.

[Sometimes I go through a series of tepid entries, but then one like this comes along and it makes it all worth while. That is going to be my excuse from now on! Somebody is trying to kill the house plants! And the plants in the back yard! And the lawn! And the goldfish!]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)