Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LXXVI

11:11 a.m. - A caller from the 1000 block of East Main Street reported being hit in the face with a beverage from an approximately 22-year-old man driving a gray Honda four-door sedan. Police were unable to locate the man.

[I just wonder if it was still in its container when it hit him.]

7:51 a.m. - A caller from the 11000 block of Yuba Ridge Drive reported a neighbor just shot a deer with a high-powered rifle and then put it in his truck. Police contacted the caller and told the caller that it wasn't a crime.

[It is called deer season.]

12:37 p.m. - A caller from the 10000 block of Pleasant Valley Road reported someone threw coffee on her earlier in the day. Police took a report.

[Was the person in a grey Honda?]

2:05 p.m. - A caller from Highway 49 reported a person by a disabled vehicle appeared as if he or she wanted to jump over the side of the highway. The person called back to report the car had a flat tire and police did not need to respond.

[Nice of the person to call back after their moment of panic.]

3:41 p.m. - A woman from Candy Lane to report she was being held captive by three people and she just snuck out of the house. Police contacted the woman and took her to the hospital for a mental health evaluation.

[It is surprising to see how often "mental health evaluation" comes up in the blotter.]

4:19 a.m. - A caller from Idaho-Maryland Road reported a foul smell as though there was an excess of sewage built up. A patrol officer was advised.

[What was the office going to do?]

2:13 a.m. - An off-duty police officer called to report a parolee on the 200 block of Broad Street showed him a bag of methamphetamine and said he was under the influence, that he had a gun and he was going to kill the person who had been sleeping with his girlfriend. The officer determined the man did not have a gun. Police looked for the man and could not find him. Truckee Police went to check the man's residence in Truckee, but they could not locate the street address. Local police checked another address in the Greenhorn area and found nothing unusual. A vehicle belonging to a person listed in a restraining order against the parolee was found at the parolee's address. The parolee's father said the man and the woman were in an "on again-off again" relationship.

["On again-off again" seems to describe his relationship with reality.]

2:24 p.m. - A caller from a bar on the 29000 block of Highway 49 in North San Juan reported a man was headbutted by another man in the pool room. The victim was bleeding from the nostrils, but he did not want medical attention and he did not want to make a report. Deputies checked the area and were unable to locate the suspect or any witnesses.

[Nice to see a good "Glasgow Handshake" in the news.]

3:07 p.m. - A woman called from the 13000 block of Capitol Drive to report people from a meat company tried to sell her meat. She felt it was suspicious. She requested a log entry.

[The roving meat salesmen are back. No word on their anger or aggressiveness.]

8:57 p.m. - A caller from the 15000 block of Skaith Bend Road reported someone threw a rock through the caller's front door. A deputy took a report for vandalism.

[I assume the door was open at the time. Either that, or somebody has a hell of an arm.]

12:20 p.m. - A caller from the Veterans Memorial Building on Auburn Street said a number of high school juveniles were behind the building drinking, possibly smoking marijuana, and changing clothes before they took off from the scene.

[Are we sure this wasn't the Cornish Christmas again?]

6:42 p.m. - A caller from the 1400 block of Segesworth reported a woman was outside her apartment screaming and cursing at other tenants. Police contacted the woman and maintained the peace.

[Perhaps they restored the peace, but if the woman was screaming, I cannot imagine there was much peace to maintain.]

10:03 a.m. - A caller from the 300 block of Second Street reported a pit bull was on her deck, and two Aussies and one golden retriever also were loose in the neighborhood.

[And if I know anything about Aussies on the loose, they were probably already drinking at 10am.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)