Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LXXXVII

10:43 a.m. - A caller from Rough and Ready Highway near Bitney Springs Road reported sheep were in the roadway. The CHP was notified.

[The sheep have gotten loose!]

12:08 p.m. - A caller from Highway 49 between Combie Road and Lime Kiln Road reported a cow was near the roadway. The CHP was notified.

[I wonder if they were meeting up with the sheep?]

11:42 p.m. - Police stopped a red truck in a parking lot on the 100 block of West McKnight Way. The driver had been drinking but did not qualify for a DUI arrest. The person would get a ride home.

[I suppose if you have to be under-qualified for something, a DUI arrest would be high on the list.]

4:08 p.m. - An elderly woman from the 13000 block of Naomi Way requested extra patrols after a woman entered her home and tried to sell her books, then refused to leave.

[This is an unsuccessful encyclopedia salesman.]

4:48 a.m. - A caller from the 14000 block of McCourtney Road reported goats in the road.

[Because after the cows and the sheep got away with it, why not the goats?]

8:54 a.m. - A caller from the 300 block of Horizon Circle reported an agitated resident banging his head against the wall.

10:53 a.m. - A 911 caller from Nevada City Highway reported an unresponsive person lying on the ground at the bus stop.

11:03 a.m. - A caller from the 300 block of Sutton Way requested a welfare check for a woman who sounded as if she were overmedicated.

[Just a strange morning all over Grass Valley.]

6:32 p.m. - A caller from a business on the 100 block of Main Street reported a young man, approximately 6-feet-2-inches tall, with blond hair, wearing a black zip-up sweater and carrying a football, was harassing female customers. He was removed from the business but continued to stick his head in and harass the people inside. Police contacted the man, who would be on his way.

7:15 p.m. - A caller from the same business on Mill Street reported the blond man still was causing a disturbance outside. Police advised the man not to return or he would face trespassing charges.

Shortly after the previous call, a caller from a business on the 100 block of Mill Street reported the blond man was in front of the business. Police arrested the 24-year-old man on suspicion of trespassing, possession of less then an ounce of marijuana and public drunkenness.

[Nice to see the police following up on their statements.]

5:52 p.m. - A man called from the 14000 block of Pasquale Road to report dredge parts were stolen from his garage. He bought the equipment at a store in Auburn, and the store owner later called to say he had not charged the caller enough and he wanted more money. The caller refused, and the store owner went to the caller's residence while he was not home and took the equipment back. A deputy took a report for burglary.

[It isn't like the police won't know where to find the store owner.]

7:12 p.m. - A caller from Bitney Springs Road reported a black cow was in the roadway.

[Another one...]

1:46 a.m. - A woman called from Plaza Drive at Sutton Way to report a man flagged her down and said he heard a woman scream in the wooded area. The man said he asked the woman if she needed help and she screamed, "Help me." Police checked the area extensively and were unable to locate the woman in distress.

3:32 a.m. - A caller from the 100 block of West Empire Street reported a person was lying on the ground wrapped in a blanket and yelling, "Help me." Police arrested the 58-year-old woman for an out-of-county warrant.

[Probably not the sort of help she was looking for.]

Between 4:37 p.m. and 5:38 p.m., police received calls from five different locations in downtown Grass Valley reporting a blond man in his 20s was harassing people and causing a disturbance. Police contacted the man at a store on the 100 block of Neal Street, and he said he would be leaving Grass Valley for the day.

[Return of the blond man!]

6:09 p.m. - A caller from a bar on Main Street reported a blond man who had been told to leave earlier was back inside the building. Police arrested the 24-year-old man on suspicion of trespassing and booked him into jail.

[Return of the blond man, to jail!]

10:08 a.m. - A woman called from the 12000 block of Rough and Ready Highway to report her neighbor stole her cat and it was an ongoing issue.

[Stealing a cat implies that you can actually own a cat, rather that the cat just deciding to live where you do.]

3:11 p.m. - A man called from the 24000 block of Lowell Hill Road to report people were shooting onto his property from Red Dog Road, right next to signs that state "no shooting." The shooting later stopped and the caller no longer needed a deputy to respond.

[Contrarians in town. Probably parked in a "No Parking" zone as well.]

5:15 p.m. - A caller from the 300 block of Broad Street reported a man in front of City Hall was annoying workers and saying "I'd do anything to go to jail tonight." Police advised the man he couldn't go to jail unless he commits a crime.

[You would think that this would be an easy situation to rectify.]

12:43 - A woman called from the 100 block of Boulder Street to report she was assaulted by a bartender on the 300 block of Broad Street. Police took a report and told the woman to call back when she is sober. The woman continued to call 911 repeatedly to demand that police respond. The dispatcher informed the woman that she could be arrested for making harassing phone calls.

1:13 a.m. - Police arrested a woman on the 100 block of Boulder Street on suspicion of making harassing phone calls.

[The police come through again!]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)