Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LXXXIX

9:54 a.m. - A caller from the 600 block of East Main Street reported workers found a knife with blood on it and a sweater. Police collected the items and determined there was no crime.

[The Hardy boys were sent on their way.]

5:18 p.m. - A caller from a business on the 900 block of Plaza Drive reported a patio light was broken by someone who threw a boulder. Police took a report for vandalism.

[Hulk no like outdoor lighting!]

4:24 p.m. - A caller from the 11000 block of Warbler Way reported a burglary in progress. Deputies cited two juveniles on suspicion of burglary and released them to their parents.

[What is this, "Boys will be boys?"]

12:41 p.m. - A woman called from the 13000 block of Meda Drive to report a person violated a restraining order by calling 30 times in the last hour and threatening to kill her and cut her car's brake lines. A deputy called the woman, who said she did not consider the threats credible. However, the person called the woman 29 times while the deputy was on the phone with the woman. The deputy took a report.

[I think persistence raises the credibility of the threat. I'd love to see this guy explain calling 30 times in front of a jury.]

11:55 p.m. - A caller from Broad Street reported a person was swinging a steel bar and hitting meters and light poles. Police arrested the person.

[Hulk no like metered parking!]

3:33 p.m. - A caller from the 100 block of Boulder Street reported a suspicious-looking man was dancing in the street and undressing. Police determined there was no crime. The man was moving on.

[No crime in happiness I guess.]

8:33 a.m. - A caller from a store on the 300 block of Sacramento Street reported a suspicious-looking man was sucking on gas nozzles and scaring customers and employees. He was wearing white-and-black polka dot pajamas. Police arrested the man on suspicion of trespassing and booked him into jail. The jail would not accept the man, and he was released to the custody of Behavioral Health Services for an evaluation at the hospital emergency room.

[Just another day in Nevada County.]

9:37 p.m. - Officers arrested a 27-year-old man on suspicion of falsity and being drunk in public on the 300 block of West Main Street and booked him into Nevada County jail.

[I just like the word "falisty." A good Scrabble word, that.]

6:26 p.m. - A woman called from the 10000 block of Rough and Ready Highway to report her son was calling from jail in Nevada City and making threats. A deputy advised the woman of the restraining order process.

[Okay, I get that the police cannot be, well, policing us every moment, but still. This guy is in jail already. Isn't there something they can do about inmates making threatening calls?]
12:08 a.m. - Officers contacted two employees of a business on the 1800 block of East Main Street who were fighting over a quarter on the ground.

[Worst team building exercise ever.]

2:38 p.m. - A caller reported suspicious activity at a bus stop on Highway 49 at Norambagua Way. A man with short hair and mustache in a dark, four-door sedan was calling to several girls who got off the bus. When the girls left, the man drove away. A second caller reported the same thing; however, a green pickup truck was involved. A third caller reported the vehicle involved was a green Chevrolet Suburban. A deputy would interview all witnesses and take a report.

[Sedan? Pickup? SUV? You can see why eye witness evidence is so unconvincing in court.]

8:23 a.m. - A caller requested police check on a woman who lives in an upstairs unit on the 500 block of Broad Street. The woman is bi-polar and paranoid, and she had a loaded firearm in the house. She also had a history of public drunkenness. The woman told the caller she kept the firearm as protection against "the FBI and other agencies." Police checked on the woman, and she was fine.

[Belonging to one of those "other agencies," I am sure the police were happy to go check this out.]

8:14 p.m. - A caller from the 300 block of Broad Street reported a man was kicking the doors of City Hall. The man was wearing a camouflage jacket. Police contacted the man, who was moving on.

[You can't fight city hall... you can't even kick city hall.]

8:56 p.m. - A woman called from the 15000 block of Stagecoach Way to report someone went into her kitchen, removed items from the refrigerator and set them on the counter.

[Did they corresponded exactly with what she was planning for dinner?]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)