Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. CVIII

6:37 p.m. - A caller from the 1900 block of Nevada City Highway reported a man in a pickup truck drove it up on the hood of another vehicle. Responding officers arrested the man on suspicion of vandalism and booked him into the Nevada County jail. His vehicle was towed.

[Vandalism is all that warrants?]

8:14 p.m. ­ A landlord reported tenants from the 300 block of Bennett Street were banging on his door after he had served them an eviction notice for throwing a barbecue off a second story balcony. Responding officers calmed the situation.

11:16 p.m. ­ Officers checking on a man at Neal and Church streets and cited and released him on a Placer County warrant.

[I still do not get this whole "citation for a warrant" routine. What good is a warrant for somebody then?]

7:54 p.m. ­ A caller from the 12000 block of Rough and Ready Highway reported a 19-year-old man was trapped in concrete.

[The lead to some interesting mental images, culminating in a fiendish super-villain death trap scenario.]

5:25 p.m. - A man was reported on Sutton Way at Olympia Circle wearing an orange jumpsuit, a George Bush mask, red horns and handcuffs, and he was holding a sign that read, "War Criminal."

[If you demonstrate against the regime alone in the woods, does it make a sound?]

12:14 a.m. - A woman from the 800 block of Old Tunnel Road reported a fire on the deck of the apartment below her that was beginning to reach her deck. The fire was out when emergency crews arrived.

[A very lively report, fire advancing, damsel in distress.]

5:52 a.m. - A woman from the 12000 block of Birchville Road reported her fiance was on probation and doing drugs.

[Don't worry though, you'll be able to change him once you're married to him ma'am.]

7:10 p.m. ­ A mother in the lobby of the police department reported her husband was threatening to take her daughter away from her after she returned from a three-week drinking binge. The mother said she was a previous battery victim at the husband’s hands and wanted officers to contact them both at the home. Officers went to the home and preserved the peace.

[The Lost Weekend comes to Grass Valley. Fortunately the GVPD was there and preserved the peace.]

7:24 p.m. - A caller reported a verbal fight involving a man and woman who were disagreeing with an umpire at the Memorial Park softball field. Responding officers found the umpire did not want to press charges and advised the man and woman to leave the park and not return. Thirty minutes later, the man fell and hit his head while walking on Henderson Street.

[Which, hopefully, went a long way towards preserving the peace going forward.]

8:00 a.m. - A woman reported a reckless driver on Sutton Way who got out of a vehicle and went into a business. The caller said she would continue calling in reckless drivers and following them until the police department does something about them. About 30 minutes later, the driver called and reported the woman caller was following his vehicle in a threatening manner.

[There is a lesson in there somewhere.]

8:30 p.m. - A caller from the 100 block of Glasson Way reported a stolen helmet was that three shades of blue with flames coming from the skull. An officer took a report for theft.

[I am going to guess this isn't a bicycle helmet we're talking about.]

3:19 a.m. - A caller from the 10000 block of Wild Turkey Lane reported a verbal argument between an inebriated man and a woman.

[Wild Turkey Lane... this stuff just writes itself.]

10:28 a.m. - A caller reported a man in a straw hat with a long beard appeared to smoking marijuana behind the city library.

[ZZ Top is in town maybe?]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)