Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XXXXIII

At 3:54 a.m., a caller from the 500 block of Blight Road reported a flooded apartment and said the landlord wouldn't do anything about it. Deputies found minor dripping.

[Deputies responded at 4am to a reported drip in progress?]

At 9:03 a.m., a caller from the 200 block of North Auburn Street reported her yard was flooded due to water backup form the rain runoff.

[No report of a police response to this water crime.]

At 9:31 a.m., a caller from 300 block of Clark Street reported her garage was possibly vandalized or hit by a car.

[It is hard to tell. It might just be the rain.]

At 3:07 a.m., a caller from the 18000 block of Lake Forest Drive reported an unknown subject was on the caller's deck, then jumped the fence and ran toward the forest. The caller called back to say coyotes "are going crazy" behind the forest.

[We can only hope it was a feeding frenzy.]

At 3:43 a.m., a 911 caller reported hearing gunshots at a neighbor's house. Officers at the scene found an unresponsive woman on the couch breathing and a man unresponsive but breathing in the back room. There was a large amount of alcohol seen inside the residence.

[I once knew a woman who was quite unresponsive on a couch, but we broke up not too long after that.]

At 4:26 p.m., the sheriff's office reported a stolen vehicle was found in the Greenhorn area. They were unable to retrieve the vehicle and would try again the next day with a bigger tow truck.

[Just how big is this stolen vehicle? Or was there a typo on the request and somebody showed up with a "toy truck?"]

At 12:27 p.m., a caller from Bitney Springs Road reported a group of eight to nine men appeared hostile. One man got out of his vehicle with a chain saw and was arguing. The caller called back and reported two vehicles left the area and the men no longer appeared to be fighting.

[Damn, no chain saw fight.]

At 12:48 p.m., a caller from Edgewood Road at Highway 174 reported a neighbor was digging ditches across a private roadway to slow traffic. The caller said every time in rains, the road becomes almost impassable.

[I suppose ditches are easier to craft in dirt than speed bumps.]

At 3:53 p.m., a caller from the Buckeye Greenhorn Crossing reported a white F150 truck was in the river up to its windows. The caller said he heard juveniles say they had gotten stuck, but they would report the truck stolen instead of having it towed.

[There goes that plan to fool somebody's dad I bet. Also, there is a great street name. "Why did the Buckeye Greenhorn cross the road?"]

At 5:20 p.m., a woman who sounded extremely drunk called from the 10000 block of Kearney Court to report she had been drugged for the last four months and was confused about what happened to her during that time. She also said she was told where a meth lab was located. An deputy contacted her.

[Well, she remembered something I suppose.]

At 6:54 p.m., a woman called from the 1000 block of Kearney Court to say she didn't know why deputies were at her house. She was crying and disoriented on the phone.

[This probably puts the meth lab location into question.]

At 11:01 p.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Boulder Street reported a fight with his roommate over snoring. The man then said he would "kill" someone. A deputy explained the eviction process.

[Small comfort to the guy who couldn't sleep.]

At 10:45 p.m., a caller from a grocery store on Nevada City Highway reported a possible drunken driver. An older man with a full beard driving a silver Toyota Tacoma hit road markers across from a gas station on the same road. Police stopped the car and spoke with the 53-year-old driver. He had not been drinking, but was possibly driving badly.

[Sometimes we just suck all by ourselves.]

At 1:20 p.m., a woman from the 12000 block of Quaker Hill Cross Road reported her neighbors are loud when the weather is good and she wanted to know how to make them stop.

[Move some place where the weather isn't so nice?]

At 8:08 p.m., a caller from Wolf Road requested deputies check the area near Combie Road for a woman hitchhiking with two black eyes.

[Either that, or she is a goth, which would probably elicit a call to the police in Nevada County as well.]

At 8:44 a.m., a caller from the 400 block of Factory Street reported a raccoon that was sleeping on her porch was running on the side of the road and she was concerned the raccoon would be injured or run over. An officer advised the woman that raccoons are wild and the police department could not assist.

[I see a series of painful rabies shots in this woman's future.]

Source: The Union (


  1. gotta love our police blotter:)it is usually funnier than the comics. not sure why the local paper reports some of the stories the way they do....maybe they are trying to get on Leno.

  2. I believe in my heart it is one of those things that the newspaper says they do as a community service, but really do for the comedic value.

    Further up north, the police blotter in Quincy is a treasured community asset based on the humor value alone.

  3. there is certainly enough depressing news out there, a little humor goes along way:)