Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XXXXIV

At 10:29 p.m., a woman report that while she was driving south on Highway 49 she saw a man in an upstairs window in a hotel under construction. The man was facing the freeway. Police contacted the 39-year-old man and determined there was a civil warrant for the man's arrest from Sacramento County. However, the warrant instructed police to contact a Sacramento detective before arresting. Police left messages for the detective. No arrest was made at that time.

[Damn red tape.]

At 10:39 a.m., a caller from a parking lot on the 100 block of Neal Street reported a man in a red Fiero was speeding in the lot and tried to start a fight with the caller. Police stopped the man and advised him about the speeding and his attitude.

[Giving people advice about their attitude seems a bit futile.]

At 12:47 p.m., a woman from the 18000 block of Chaparral Drive reported possible identity theft. She said she was being tailgated on Highway 49 by a white Honda with tinted windows. An officer took a report for identity theft.

[Were the people in the Honda attempting to steal her identity? I don't get it.]

At 7:40 p.m., a caller from the 18000 block of Kentucky Ravine reported a roommate set a small fire to a residence. The fire was out but the caller wanted contact regarding the roommate being "crazy." A deputy called the man back, but the phone was busy. Further contact was pending.

[Crazy roommates. Another reason to live alone.]

At 7:45 a.m., a burglary alarm sounded at a bank on the 100 block of West Main Street. It appeared a balloon may have set it off.

[A very sensitive burglary alarm or a very big ballon I would guess.]

At 5:06 p.m., an officer cited a 46-year-old man in a parking lot on the 100 block of Neal Street for having an open container of alcohol. The contents were photographed and destroyed.

[I was taught that matter can neither be created nor destroyed. And why the photograph? Memories?]

At 5:53 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of West McKnight Way reported a person was buying bomb materials in the back of a store. An officer said the situation had already been dealt with, and there was no need to follow up.

[Somehow that is less than reassuring.]

At 6:15 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of Mill Street reported a physical fight. An older man wearing a cowboy hat was a suspect. He went by the name of "Cowboy Bill." Police took a report for assault.

[This makes me want to write a song called, "The Ballad of Cowboy Bill."]

At 7:07 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of Mill Street reported Cowboy Bill was back. Police contacted the man and cited him on suspicion of assault.

[The Return of Cowboy Bill! Another song to write!]

At 9:02 p.m., a woman called from the 11000 block of Rocker Road to report her wallet was stolen. She said she knew who had her wallet and she would attempt to get it back herself. She would call back if she was unsuccessful.

[As usual, why did she call the police in the first place then?]

At 6:27 a.m., a man called from the 10000 block of Boulder Street to ask a dispatcher whether or not he is on probation. A dispatcher told him he was on probation. Part of terms of the man's probation was no alcohol consumption. The man sounded like he had been drinking and he was making death threats to the dispatcher over the phone. A deputy contacted the man.

[You have to love people with no sense of self interest.]

At 3:32 p.m., a caller from the 700 block of Zion Street reported a woman just dumped a bag of clothing. An officer would attempt to notify the woman and tell her to pick up her clothes.

[And have her clean her room while she is at it.]

At 2:26 p.m., a woman in the police station lobby said someone was pet-sitting her dog and would not return it. Police would follow up.

[The heartbreak of lovable pets?]

At 3:18 p.m., a woman called from the hospital on Glasson Way to report she had not received food for two days. Police contacted the nursing supervisor, who would check on the woman.

[If the woman was right, isn't that just handing things back to the people causing the problem?]

At 3:29 p.m., a woman called to report she watched a television show, "60 Minutes," and she was concerned for her stepfather's welfare. She had not spoken to him in more than 12 years. A deputy went to the address and determined the stepfather was staying in Colorado.

[Was it the one about the horrible nursing home? Obama? The Kurds?]

At 11:39 p.m., a woman called from Rattlesnake Road to report hearing two shots fired in the area. All was quiet when deputies arrived.

[Well, now we know how to get things to be quiet.]

At 11:57 p.m., a caller from Spenceville Road reported hearing three gunshots in the area. All was quiet when deputies arrived.

[Will somebody up the bid to four gunshots?]

At 2:39 p.m., a caller reported a man who lives on the 800 block of Annex Avenue was possibly on drugs and he believed worms were crawling on him. Police contacted the man. He was not on drugs and he was not considered to have mental health issues at the time.

[So were there, in fact, worms crawling on him then?]

At 4:07 p.m., a caller from the 15000 block of Stage Coach Way reported a dog was in foster care and the man who was taking care of the dog said the dog belonged to him. A deputy contacted both people.

[There is foster care for dogs? And what is it with doggie care takers becoming so possessive?]

At 3:15 p.m., a caller reported a person dropped off another package for a waitress at a cafe on the 200 block of Broad Street. The person who sent the package had been notified of a hearing about a restraining order involving the cafe. An officer took a report.

[There has to be some creepy story behind this I am sure.]

At 1:32 p.m., a woman called from the 900 block of Plaza Drive to report she was being harassed by a person who was posing as an attorney. The person said a client wanted to sue the woman. The caller wanted to press charges for impersonating a lawyer. An officer checked background information and discovered the person is a legitimate attorney. No crime had been committed.

[Actually being a lawyer is not a crime. And how do you prove that you are a lawyer? Does your bar association membership count?]

At 9:46 p.m., a caller from North Church Street reported a female yellow terrier mix dog named Pariah was missing. Pariah weighs 48 pounds and was wearing a green harness and a silver and leather collar with no tags. Patrol officers and Animal Control were advised.

[If you name a dog Pariah, are you foolish for thinking it will stick around?]

At 7:32 p.m., a woman called from Freeman Lane to report that while she was doing her laundry she found a sofa in the back of the business that had ammunition in it. Police collected and destroyed six 12-gage shot rounds.

[Is possession of a loaded sofa against any laws? Watch how you sit on that thing, it could go off!]

At 6:16 a.m., a man called from the 12000 block of Garden Bar Road to report his elderly parents had been missing since Feb. 11. They were last seen at a funeral in Lompoc. The caller's parents were entered into a missing persons database and law enforcement was alerted to be on the lookout for them. Eight hours later, the man located his parents and the alert was canceled.

[This was 8 days later, so it seems to have been something of a long funeral... or a hell of a wake.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)