Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XXXXV

At 11:59 a.m., a caller from a business on the 200 block of Main Street reported an antique gun with a gold handle and cowboy scene engraving was stolen. It was a "General Custer Replica." Police took a report for petty theft.

[General Custer was not really a "cowboy" per se.]

At 1:25 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of West Berryhill Drive reported someone was driving something that was very loud and probably illegal. The caller said a juvenile must be operating it. The caller did not see anything, but just heard something. A patrol officer was advised.

[I see this person wants to be the new Jean Dixon.]

At 3:14 p.m., a caller from a grocery store on Freeman Lane reported a man ordered food, then threw the food at customers. The man was last seen leaving the store on his bicycle. A caller from a grocery store on the 100 block of West McKnight Way reported the same man had shoplifted. Police arrested the 42-year-old man on suspicion of violation of probation.

[We suspect that throwing food and/or shoplifting might be a violation thereof.]

At 10:18 a.m., a caller from Houghton Ranch Road reported someone was setting off "a very large amount of dynamite charges that were way too strong and too many." The caller was worried the blasts would damage her well. Caltrans was blasting on Highway 20 at a construction site.

[Everybody is an expert.]

At 6:10 p.m., a woman called from the 22000 block of Wild Canary Road to report an emu had been loose in her driveway for the last three hours. An Animal Control officer was advised.

[How often has an emu ever been loose on Wild Canary Road? How often do they get loose in Nevada County?]

At 10:07 a.m., several callers from Wolf Mountain Road reported people on quads and dirt bikes were riding up and down the roadway at dangerously high speeds.

[That is what they are for.]

At 3:25 p.m., a caller from the intersection of Nevel and Wiley Streets reported that a woman was blowing a whistle to make the neighborhood dogs bark, and then yelling at them.

[Everybody should have a hobby.]

At 8:32 p.m., a caller from a business on the 200 block of McKnight Way reported that a man wearing sunglasses and a green sweatshirt and carrying a flute and a notepad had been making weird faces at her and had followed her outside.

[There is a "Band Camp" joke in there somewhere.]

At 4:08 p.m., a caller from the 15000 block of Stagecoach Way reported that her neighbor, a butcher, has placed two steer heads in view of her residence.

[Get back to us if he puts one in your bed.]

At 11:43 a.m., a caller from the 10000 block of S. Ponderosa Way reported that her neighbor was threatening to burn her house down.

[Neighbor relations!]

At 6:35 p.m., a caller from the 15000 block of Taylor Crossing Road reported that a transient had moved his things into the bushes near her residence. At 6:48 p.m., the caller reported that after the transient told her he was going down to the river to get his shoes, she heard a gunshot. When the man didn't return, she feared that he had committed suicide.

[Somebody else vying to be the new Jean Dixon.]

At 6:27 p.m., a caller from a gas station on McKnight Way reported a wild bird was in the store and it was injured. Animal Control would not respond because the bird was not a domestic animal. A dispatcher gave the caller a phone number for wild bird rescue.

[But if it was a deer I bet they would be out there.]

At 9:45 p.m., a woman called from the 300 block of Pleasant Street to report she was attacked by a strange cat and she locked it in her bathroom. Animal Control would handle the situation.

[Consistancy! Domestic animal, problem handled. Wasn't there a movie about cats that attacked?]

At 2:33 p.m., a caller from McCourtney Road and Patterson Valley Road reported a man wearing all camouflage, approximately 20 years old, was carrying a rifle. Deputies were unable to locate the man.

[Of course not, he was camouflaged!]

At 8:10 p.m., a caller from a bar on the 29000 block of Highway 49 in North San Juan reported two women were in a physical fight. Dispatchers called back and determined the women had left the bar. An officer would check on their welfare.

[I like how the fact that they were in a bar just slips in near the end.]

At 1:42 p.m., a person flagged down an officer on East Main Street at Scandling Avenue to report a fire truck was involved in a minor collision with a parked car. Police would follow up.

[In San Jose the police do feel a bit of resentment against the fire department because of their plush fire stations (at least the one down town). I wonder if they get to ticket the driver of the fire truck and, if so, whether or not the enjoyed it.]

At 4:37 a.m., a man called from the 100 block of Boundy Court to report someone was breaking into his home. Police verified the address then the line was disconnected.

[And?]

At 12:04 p.m., a caller from Streeter Road reported two men dressed in camouflage and carrying rifles were near the Oak Mesa Junction. They were in a white Dodge Ram pickup. Deputies were unable to locate the men.

[Another testament to the effectiveness of camouflaged!]

At 5:39 p.m., a woman reported she left her vehicle in front of an auto repair business on the 300 block of Railroad Avenue while she was trying to get money for repairs to her car's transmission. The last time she checked on it was Feb. 14. She recently received paperwork from the Placer County Sheriff's Office that the vehicle was stripped and burned in Colfax. She asked to make a report for a stolen vehicle.

[I wonder how you react to a letter telling you your vehicle was stolen, stripped, and burned? I suppose you can let go of worry about the transmission repairs.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)