Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XXXXVI

At 12:20 a.m., a caller from Sutton Way reported a woman was walking back and forth, yelling at cars. Police contacted the woman and she walked toward her boyfriend's apartment.

[And did they check to see if she walked back again?]

At 9:35 a.m., a caller from the 18000 block of Bowman Lake Road reported a group home area had been entered and burglarized. No weapons were stolen. A deputy took a report for burglary.

[So they keep the weapons somewhere else in the group home?]

At 10:22 a.m., a woman called from Hawaii to report she was possibly assaulted in Dec. 2004 on the 11000 block of Forest View Drive. She said she just found out about it. The caller said she is in the Air Force and is stationed in Hawaii. She said both she and the suspect were in the military when the assault occurred, and the suspect is possibly living in Jacksonville, Fla.

[Aside from the absurdity of the report (was she notified of the assault through the mail?) and the jurisdictional nightmare, I just wanted to mention I used to live on Forest View Drive.]

At 12:03 p.m., a caller from Mill Street reported a juvenile male with red hair kept running into a business and lighting things on fire.

[Carrot Top runs amok.]

At 3:36 p.m., police cited a 15-year-old boy at Hennessy School on suspicion of possession of an alcoholic beverage by a minor and possession of an alcoholic beverage on school grounds.

[I dearly hope it was Cognac.]

At 9:45 p.m., an officer contacted a man hiding in bushes at Minnie Park. Police arrested the 43-year-old man on warrants. Police also advised another man not to drive because of his suspended license.

[I suppose at least the guy was trying to hide as opposed to doing something to draw attention to himself.]

At 9:28 p.m., a caller from the 17000 block of Del Mar Way reported a man tried to deliver a package to a previous resident at a house who moved out seven years ago. The man said he worked for FedEx, but he drove a red truck and wore "western garb." The caller contacted FedEx. They told the caller to call the sheriff because their drivers always wear uniforms. A deputy responded.

[I suspect Cowboy Bill.]

At 9:02 p.m., a caller from a fast food restaurant on the 11000 block of Nevada City Highway reported two to three men appeared to be doing a drug deal through a white Jeep with a "for sale" sign in the window. Police were unable to locate the Jeep.

[Were they standing on either side of the jeep and communicating through the open doors?]

At 3:14 a.m., a woman called from Pleasant Street to report her car was taken from in front of a bar. Police contacted a 19-year-old woman and arrested her for warrants.

[Again, the irony of calling the police and then being arrested. Insult/Injury ratio: High]

At 12:06 p.m. a caller from the 10000 block of Hawke Lane reported a dog was stolen. A deputy contacted the caller, who would activate a tracking chip on the dog. The caller would report the dog's location the next day.

[I was going to comment on the idea of a dog being "stolen," but then this dog has a built in tracking system, so maybe it is valuable enough to steal.]

At 5:16 p.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Banner Lava Cap Road reported her mailbox and her neighbor's mailbox were vandalized. One was filled with concrete.

[That is a new twist.]

At 8:28 p.m., a caller from a gas station on the 200 block of South Auburn Street reported two men in a white meat truck possibly were drunk. Police contacted a 26-year-old man and a 25-year-old man. They were not drunk.

[I would have to guess that the caller was female. Guys are goofy even when they are not drunk.]

At 11:43 p.m., a caller from Newtown Road reported a suspicious-looking pedestrian was crossing the street. The caller said the person was dressed like "a red ninja."

[I will be disappointed if we hear nothing further regarding "a red ninja."]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)