Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LVII

At 9:07 p.m., a caller form South School Street reported a man with a beard wanted to sleep in an air conditioning unit. The man left and the caller was told to call police again if the man returned.

[Warm weather brings mad schemes.]

At 11:06 a.m., a caller from the 20000 block of Tanglewood Loop reported a man had gone to Bridgeport the day before and had not returned home. His vehicle was at Bridgeport. State Parks personnel located the man in the river with no shoes on. The man refused to get out of the water because it would be too hot on his feet. The man was fine and searchers left.

[He refused to get out of the water. I wonder who got to pick up the tab for the search?]

At 7:53 p.m., a caller from the 11000 block of Sierra Circle reported several juveniles were walking around a park, lowering their pants and showing their buttocks to people. A deputy contacted the juveniles. Parents were dealing with the situation; however, some parents did not want to talk with a deputy.

[But did the parents then show their buttocks?]

At 4:15 p.m., a caller from the 17000 block of Huckleberry Drive reported the theft of a For Sale sign from a golf cart. It was later found that Lake Wildwood security guards had removed the sign because it violated the rules of the community. Lake Wildwood security said they will return the sign, and the caller was advised of the regulations.

[High drama.]

At 10:34 a.m., a person went to the police station and wanted to speak with an officer about something occurring in different areas around the city. The person was very upset and was having trouble verbalizing.

[Fun at the police station I bet.]

At 1:45 p.m., a man called from the 1000 block of Laurel Lane to report a juvenile was shooting a pellet gun at him. Police contacted the youth, who lives on the 200 block of Dorsey Drive. His grandparents said he would not be shooting anymore.

[The things you can get away with at your grandparents.]

At 5:24 p.m., a woman called from the 50 block of Candy Lane reported people were trying to get into a residence. She would sign a complaint.

[Anybody she knows?]

At 6:43 p.m., a man called from the 50 block of Candy Lane to report more problems. A woman would leave the residence for the night. No arrests were made.

[Was the man one of the people trying to get in?]

At 7:36 p.m., a caller from the 11000 block of Lakeshore North reported a person was fishing with an invalid license. There was also possibly an Immigration and Naturalization Service issue and a large language barrier. A deputy contacted the caller and would contact Homeland Security.

[For want of a fishing license....]

At 7:39 p.m., a caller from the 400 block of Henderson Street reported 20 men selling food out of their vehicles.

[Was this the flea market?]

At 6:07 p.m., there were multiple calls from Highway 49 reporting a person swinging a board at cars on the side of the roadway.

[Well, that is different at least!]

At 3:24 p.m., State Parks rangers followed a man suspected of breaking into vehicle in Sierra County as he sped towards North San Juan. Rangers caught up with the suspect in the parking lot of a restaurant on the 13000 block of Tyler Foote Crossing Road. The suspect locked himself in his car and refused to get out, saying he would not get out until "real" law enforcement officers arrived. Rangers held the man at gunpoint and arrested him. The suspect, a 40-year-old Nevada City resident, was charged with threatening a crime and evading and resisting a peace officer.

[I guess we know who is "real" now.]

At 4:22 p.m., a caller from Redwood Lane reported that a neighbor was screaming obscenities. The caller wasn't clear who the neighbor was yelling at but said that the yelling happened daily.

[Just part of the afternoon routine.]

At 11:37 a.m., a caller from Broad Street reported that a man wearing a coat over his head was walking into traffic.

[I suppose he at least has an excuse.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Look, I am Serious

Lock your car door already.

At 8:35 a.m., a caller from the 300 block of Bennett Street reported that a black leather laptop bag with a personal digital assistant was taken from his unlocked vehicle.

At 8:38 a.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Thomas Drive reported two unlocked vehicles in a driveway were broken into last night.

At 9:25 a.m., a caller from the 14000 block of Norwegian Court reported that someone had stolen cash from a wallet left inside an unlocked car.

At 10:04 a.m., a caller from the 14000 block of Highway 174 reported that a headlamp had been stolen from an unlocked vehicle.

At 10:33 a.m., a caller from the 14000 block of North Meadow View Drive reported that stereos and cash had been stolen from two unlocked cars.

At 5:10 p.m., a woman reported someone entered an unlocked vehicle on Highway 49 at the Yuba River. A bag containing a cellular telephone was taken.

At 12:26 p.m., a caller from the 13000 block of Loma Rica Drive reported theft from an unlocked vehicle.

At 11:27 a.m., a caller from the 12000 block of Burma Road reported $80 and a rosary were taken from an unlocked vehicle.

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Beer Priorities

A flood-isolated town in Austrailia breathed a sigh of relief this week when the State Emergency Services delivered 12 kegs and three crates of beer before a big televised rugby match.

Find the story here.

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LVI

At 11:40 a.m., the Grass Valley Police Department issued a be-on-the-lookout for a stolen white Dodge Caravan. The keys had been stolen either from a residence or left inside the minivan.

[I've been up there. They keys were in the van in the visor on the driver's side. Face it, this is not where to keep your keys.]

At 6:14 p.m, a caller from Ridge Road near Carey Drive reported that a green chevy painted with purple flames had run into a fence and the car was now parked with a flat tire. The caller suspected the driver was under the influence.

[Green car with purple flames? He was certainly under the influence at some point.]

At 1:23 p.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Lode Line Way reported the theft of a security camera.

[Alert the office of ironic criminal activity.]

At 7:05 p.m., a caller from the 16000 block of Mount Olive Road reported finding a live hand grenade with a safety pin intact while digging for worms. A bomb squad destroyed the device.

[Bomb squads always destroy "devices." They should be called "The Device Squad."]

At 8:37 a.m., a caller from Highway 49 near Streeter Road reported that a man was sitting on the side of the road yelling at himself and causing a disturbance for motorists.

[You wouldn't want motorists disturbed.]

At 3:55 p.m., a caller from the 300 block of Eskaton Circle reported lots of smoke and flames.

[In the distance? In the neighborhood? In his room?]

At 11:06 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Sutton way reported a party in the parking lot with mostly teenagers and some young children riding their bikes through the sprinklers.

[Sprinkler party tonight!]

At 10:40 a.m. a caller from 10000 Peardon Road reported a residential burglary in the last two weeks and that food was taken.

[Burglar: Least likely answer to the question "where did those Fudgesicles go?"]

At 4:36 p.m., a caller from Jordan Street reported people were cutting down trees without permits.

[In Soviet Russia the tree cuts you down without a permit.]

At 4:49 p.m., a woman from the 11000 block of Golden Way reported there was a bear in her front yard. The woman stated she has concerns for the neighborhood.

[A bear in the front yard can really draw down property values.]

At 5:53 p.m., a caller from the 11000 block of Millpond Lane reported a bear going up the street toward Red Dog Road. Information was given to Fish and Game.

[Unless he fails to signal a turn, the authorities will leave well enough alone.]

At 10:54 p.m., a caller from a business on the 100 block of East Main Street reported an ex-employee was in the parking lot demanding tips. He had just been fired. Police contacted the caller and the ex-employee, who was advised not to return or he could be arrested for trespassing.

[If you're out in the parking lot, isn't it a little too late for tips? Or was he seeking employment tips?]

At 12:10 a.m., a caller from the 23000 block of St. Helena Drive reported an accidental gunshot wound to the hand. The caller was cleaning the .45-caliber gun when it went off. The caller was transported to the hospital. A deputy took a report.

[Another "cleaning the gun" scenario. At midnight. More likely somebody was playing quick draw after a few too many.]

At 9:16 p.m., a caller from the 600 block of West Broad Street reported a neighbor had a scented candle burning in his vehicle, but he was inside his home, possibly in bed. An officer responded and blew out the candle.

[Nice to see the police taking the simple solution... now if the neighbor could have just done that. After all, if the windows were not down we can be sure the doors were unlocked.]

At 3:54 p.m., a man called from a business on the 500 block of Sutton Way to report he has a Pepsi machine and he couldn't find the owner. He wanted to get rid of it. Dispatchers advised the man to call Pepsi Co.

[I had a Pepsi machine and I could not find the owner, so I called the police.]

At 12:45 p.m., a caller from Maben Road reported a person was wandering down the roadway yelling at himself and scaring neighbors. A deputy contacted the person, who was looking for water.

[Oh, well, carry on with your ravings sir, I'll let the neighbors know it is only water you seek.]

At 5:54 a.m., a woman called from the 19000 block of John Born Road to report two horses were running in the roadway with the owner chasing after them on foot.

[Things I cannot imagine myself doing, or caring about, before 6am on any morning.]

At 4:45 p.m., a caller from a business on Nevada City Highway reported a man appeared to be passed out at a bus stop. Police contacted the man, who was taking a nap.

[A power nap at the bus stop and now he feels refreshed and ready to carry on.]

At 2:42 a.m., a woman in the police station lobby wanted to speak to an officer because she was cold, tired and wanted to leave Grass Valley. An officer gave the woman a bus schedule and would allow her to stay in the lobby until 5 a.m. The woman later urinated inside the lobby, then ran outside without her pants on. Police provided the woman a ride to the hospital for a mental health evaluation.

[Well, they got her pointed in the right direction at least.]

At 11:45 a.m., a woman called 911 from the 10000 block of Gautier Drive to report she was being stalked by the Auburn Police Department. She called again on the business line and dispatchers told her she should call Auburn Police Department.

[But can't you see, they are the problem!]

At 1:30 p.m., a man called from the 15000 block of Rattlesnake Road to report a woman pointed a shotgun toward the ground and said she wanted to shoot his can of beer, which he was not allowed to have. She also stabbed the swimming pool with a butcher knife earlier. The woman locked herself inside the house and would no come out. The man refused an offer for a ride away from the house.

[I'm sure everybody live happily ever after.]

At 5:06 p.m., a caller from the 400 block of Nimrod Street reported a man was lying under a bench in Pioneer Park, urinating. Police arrested the man.

[Tip: Behind a bush or a tree is much more effective.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

US States - Countries With Similar GDP

Somebody has done a map of the US with the states renamed to coutries that have GDPs similar to the state in question. So now I live in France and Microsoft is in Turkey.

Find it here.

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LV

At 3:29 a.m., a caller from the Dorsey Drive overpass reported a woman estimated at less than 40 years old was wearing a hospital gown and walking on crutches toward East Main Street. Police contacted the woman. She was not a hospital patient.

[She just likes to feel the wind on her cheeks early in the morning.]

At 7:25 a.m., a woman called from the 200 block of Catherine Lane to report her husband was causing a disturbance in the middle of the street with no shirt on. Police transported the man to the hospital for a voluntary mental health evaluation.

[Is this the beginning of the "shirtless guy" season in Nevada County?]

At 3:06 a.m., a man called from the 11000 block of Banner Lava Cap to report a woman yelled for another neighbor to "shut up the dogs" then he heard three shots. He was worried someone shot the dogs. Deputies responded and determined an animal had gotten into the trash at the water treatment plant.

[Which cause the dogs to bark? Which caused the three shots? Close the loop for me here.]

At 12:54 p.m., a caller from Brunswick Road at Sutton Way reported the lights were not working and he sat at the light for more than five minutes without moving. A patrol officer was advised.

[I would nominate him for a patience award, but people exaggerate time so much that he probably sat there for two minutes maximum.]

At 6:27 p.m., a caller from the 300 block of Pleasant Street reported raw sewage was coming onto the street. Public Works was advised.

[They came by and change the street name to "Unpleasant Street."]

At 12:34 a.m., a caller from the 300 block of Pleasant Street reported a naked man had been asked to leave and he was refusing. The man later left the apartment after putting on a black shirt and shorts. The caller was advised to call back if the man returned.

[No mention of odor. And the guy put on his shirt again, so maybe the season has not yet begun in earnest.]

At 3:06 a.m., a caller form the 100 block of Ophir Street reported a possible prowler and creepy music being played. Police determined no one was walking around. The caller may have heard wind chimes.

[Chimes that play creepy music. I want some!]

At 9:28 a.m., a woman called from the 10000 block of Laura Lane to report receiving threats on her MySpace.com page. The caller was advised of the restraining order process.
[How does a restraining order work with a MySpace.com?]

At 5:44 p.m., a caller from the 12000 block of Alpha Loop reported there was a raft on the Yuba River with drudging equipment and no one was on the raft. The Forest Service was notified and the caller left a note on the raft.

[Matt Drudge declined to comment.]

At 7:23 a.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Banner Lava Cap Road reported a person broke down a door with a chainsaw, then left in a white truck. The caller did not want to press charges.

[Now there is a video I want to see posted to YouTube!]

At 11:57 p.m., police contacted a man on the 500 block of Pleasant Street who was "just sniffing flowers." He would be moving on.

[That sort of thing can get out of hand quickly, so good work!]

At 11:37 a.m., local law enforcement was advised to be on the lookout for a gray or tan 1984 Ford F150 LT with a bumper sticker on the tailgate that says "I love strippers." Two occupants, a 24-year-old man and a man in his 40s, may have a runaway juvenile in the truck with them.

[You got the year, model, and white-trash bumper sticker correct, but are a bit vague on the color. I am willing to bet the color he was really look for was "primer."]

At 4:48 p.m., a caller from Rattlesnake Road reported two men in a white truck with a custom shell were attempting to sell meat and were rude when told to leave.

[The ongoing experiment in selling meat while copping at attitude!]

At 7:15 p.m., a woman called from Pleasant Valley Road to report she was following a vehicle she believed was involved in shooting cows. She said she didn't know why she thought the people in the vehicle were involved in the shooting, just that "she's seen the vehicle around the area." She said she believed the vehicle was trying to evade her. She lost the vehicle. A deputy was advised.

[No corresponding call about being followed by some crazy woman.]

At 7:52 p.m., a caller from Auburn Faith Hospital reported a Nevada County man was at the emergency room with a small puncture would from a pellet gun in his lower abdomen. He told hospital staff he had been cleaning the gun when it discharged.

[Is "cleaning the gun" as an excuse ever NOT a lie? He was home alone and no doubt wondering just how much a pellet would hurt....]

At 3:05 p.m., a caller from a business on the 100 block of Neal Street reported a woman asked a customer to run her over, then she started crying.

[I guess the answer was "no" then.]

At 6:23 p.m., a caller from a business on the 100 block of Neal Street reported a man wanted to use the bathroom and he was denied. He said he would urinate on the building, then he left.

[In a somewhat rural area this isn't exactly a response at odds with accepted social norms. And suspicion of intent to urinate on a building isn't much or a crime.]

At 12:54 p.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Quincy Lane reported a juvenile answered an ad for a work opportunity in the newspaper and received a check in the mail for $4,000. The juvenile was asked to send money back to the person. No money was sent; the caller said the check bounced. A deputy contacted the caller.

[Well, at least the scam did not work on the kid. Too bad about the check bouncing.]

At 5:18 p.m., a caller from Thiel Way reported a large teen or young adult in a white furry suit jumped out of the brush at her when she drove by. Deputies were unable to locate the person in the furry suit.

[You would think a person like that would stand out, too.]

At 2:41 p.m., a man called from the 300 block of Pleasant Street to report he was removing his belongings from a residence and he believed a woman might call later to report the items as stolen. He requested contact should such a call come in.

[This has the ring of domestic fun.]

At 3:03 p.m., a woman called from the 300 block of Pleasant Street to report a man stole items from a residence. Police determined it was a civil issue and no burglary had occurred. Both people lived at the residence.

[Only 23 minutes and the prediction came true. Nice to see such accuracy from the general public.]

At 4:32 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Dorsey Drive reported a man was behind some bushes and he wasn't wearing all of his clothes.

[Which might explain his position behind the bushes.]

At 7:18 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Scotia Pines Circle reported two Pitt bulls were lose and chasing a woman and her two dogs. Animal Control was advised.

[I thought the University of Pittsburgh had a Panther as its mascot.]

At 7:24 a.m., a caller from Highway 49 at Christian Life Way reported a vehicle was involved in an accident with multiple deer. The CHP responded.

[Multiple dear pileup? Hrmm]

At 10:13 a.m., a caller from Highway 49 reported a man was making gestures and was partially in and out of traffic. The CHP was notified.

[The man was quite clearly preparing for full scale jumping in and out of traffic.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Crime Prevention Tip of the Day

How is this for insight? Lock your car doors!

At 7:10 a.m., a caller from the 13000 block of Burma Road reported theft of a purse from an unlocked vehicle. A second caller from the same block reported cash was stolen out of an unlocked vehicle.

At 7:14 p.m., a caller from the 14000 block of highway 174 reported theft of a television from an unlocked vehicle.

At 9:34 a.m., a person who lives on the 17000 block of Norlene Way reported an iPod and an adapter were stolen from an unlocked vehicle parked in a driveway. A deputy took a report for grand theft.

At 10:33 a.m., a caller from the 13000 block of North Meadow View Drive reported two unlocked vehicles were entered last night. Stereos and $100 were taken.

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

He Can Leave His Hat On

I saw Om Malik at the airport on the other day. It turned out we were both on the same flight. While I did not actually talk to him (it isn't like I know him or anything) I did figure out why he wears that hat.

The hat was, of course, how I spotted him. One look and I knew immediately who it was.

He boarded the plane long ahead of me, but I figured I would at least eyeball him one more time as I made my way to my seat at the far back end of the plane.

And while I kept alert for him as I slowly moved down the aisle of the plane, I never saw him.

It appears that, when he takes that hat off, he disappears. So the hat is not just some affectation. It seems that he has to wear it so that you can actually see him.

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LIV

At 11:27 a.m., a caller from the 14000 block of Boquest Drive reported finding a decapitated rat on a doorstep. The caller said there had been a burglary in March and prowlers on a regular basis. A deputy responded and determined there was no crime.

[Maybe it was the cat mafia.]

At 4:45 p.m., a caller from the 500 block of Ivy Street reported a man with tattoos, very short dark hair and a New York accent came to the door and said he was selling meat for The Butcher Shop in Sacramento. There is no listing for that business in Sacramento. The caller requested extra police patrol in the area

[Return of the aggressive meat seller!]

At 4:02 p.m., a caller from East Main Street near Hughes Road reported three men, two wearing suits, ties and hats, were walking on East Main Street, and one appeared to have a silver-and-black gun tucked in his waistband. Police located the men and determined the gun was a cap gun.

[A cap gun. That must have been fun to explain. I bet they were calling each other "Mr. White" and "Mr. Orange."]

At 7:09 p.m., a caller from Idaho-Maryland Road reported a man with blond hair was riding a horse bareback toward Sutton Way. An officer was advised.

[Is there a law in Nevada County about horses having to wear a red light on their tail after dark? I fail to see the issue.]

At 11:15 a.m., a woman from the 14000 block of Live Oak Lane reported her cat brought in a snake that she believed was a poisonous coral snake. The woman had it trapped under a can, but she was disabled and she could not get the snake out of the house. Animal Control would handle the problem.

[Nice. I had a cat that brought me mice, lizards, birds, frogs, and even a bat once, but never a poisonous snake.]

At 4:15 p.m., a caller from Del Bonita Way reported a small yellow truck with no plates on the front looked like it did not "fit" in the neighborhood.

[It is driving down the property values even as we speak officer!]

At 4:48 p.m., a man called from the 18000 block of Penn Valley Drive to request extra police patrol because his wife was just released from jail and she typically went to the home after being released.

[I hardly know where to go with this one. She is in jail often enough that she has a set pattern of behavior upon release? And she is his "wife," why shouldn't she go home to him? I bet there are some stories behind this entry.]

At 6:05 p.m., a caller from a gas station on Penn Valley Drive reported a boy was carrying a vacuum cleaner and a small bag. The caller said the juvenile looked very suspicious.

[Suspicious? Like he was willingly carrying the vacuum? Like he was enjoying it? Like he meant to use it to inflict grievous bodily harm?]

At 10:44 p.m., a woman called to report her children possibly found a body lying in the fast lane of Highway 20. The California Highway Patrol responded and reported finding clothing at the scene.

[At least this wrapped up without the expected "officers were unable to locate any body."]

At 2:08 p.m., a woman called from the 600 block of Packard Drive to report she received a cat from her neighbors. The cat had an eye problem so the neighbors took the cat into their apartment for medicine and they wouldn't give it back. Police determined both parties owned the cat and there was no crime. They were advised of civil remedies.

[What happened to "no cat can serve two masters?" Wait. Cat? That should rephrased "Police determined the cat owned both parties...."]

At 8:24 a.m., a caller from a grocery store on McKnight Way reported a tour bus was leaking fuel. Public Works was contacted for sand to apply to the leak.

[I would suggest applying some sort of patch to the leak and then just using the sand to absorb the already leaked fuel.]

At 9:52 p.m., a woman called from Auburn Road to report juveniles were loitering and ringing her doorbell, then running away.

[This is what we used to call "fun" when I was about 10 years old.]

At 7:33 a.m., a caller from Running M Drive at Highway 49 reported a man was hitting himself in the head and walking close to the roadway.

[He could have begun jumping in and out of traffic at any moment!]

At 1:07 a.m., a caller from the 12000 block of Highway 174 said he received a phone call from a man saying he was outside his residence in trouble and needing a place. The man who called the reporting person knew the reporting person's name but wouldn't identify himself. The reporting person didn't want to go outside and asked for an officer to contact him.

[People are just strange.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Cultural Time Zones

The company for which I work has its headquarters, and the majority of its employees, in a city in the south. It resides in the Central Time Zone of the United States.

The office from which I work is on the west coast of the US, in the time zone known as Pacific.

So there is a two hour time difference between us an HQ. This always makes for a bit of comedy/annoyance when it comes to scheduling conference calls that require attendees from both locations.

Still, a two hour time difference is not so bad, is it?

It would not be, except that we are also separated by a two hour "cultural" time zone.

The people at HQ seem to be early risers. They like to get into the office at 7am and head out the door around 4pm. Finding somebody that will answer the phone there after 4pm can be a trial.

Out here on the laid back left coast, at least in my department, 9am is a more likely starting time, and if you are still around at 7pm, you are probably not alone. We work late.

This means that there is really only a very narrow window of time when one can schedule a meeting and expect full attendance from both sides, and there is much grousing when meetings fall outside of that window.

There is one other cultural chasm exists between the two offices. One group is always on time for meetings and one of them is always, chronically late.

Ironically, it is the early risers at HQ that are always late, while the left coast crew is always on time.

I'm not sure what this means.