Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LIV

At 11:27 a.m., a caller from the 14000 block of Boquest Drive reported finding a decapitated rat on a doorstep. The caller said there had been a burglary in March and prowlers on a regular basis. A deputy responded and determined there was no crime.

[Maybe it was the cat mafia.]

At 4:45 p.m., a caller from the 500 block of Ivy Street reported a man with tattoos, very short dark hair and a New York accent came to the door and said he was selling meat for The Butcher Shop in Sacramento. There is no listing for that business in Sacramento. The caller requested extra police patrol in the area

[Return of the aggressive meat seller!]

At 4:02 p.m., a caller from East Main Street near Hughes Road reported three men, two wearing suits, ties and hats, were walking on East Main Street, and one appeared to have a silver-and-black gun tucked in his waistband. Police located the men and determined the gun was a cap gun.

[A cap gun. That must have been fun to explain. I bet they were calling each other "Mr. White" and "Mr. Orange."]

At 7:09 p.m., a caller from Idaho-Maryland Road reported a man with blond hair was riding a horse bareback toward Sutton Way. An officer was advised.

[Is there a law in Nevada County about horses having to wear a red light on their tail after dark? I fail to see the issue.]

At 11:15 a.m., a woman from the 14000 block of Live Oak Lane reported her cat brought in a snake that she believed was a poisonous coral snake. The woman had it trapped under a can, but she was disabled and she could not get the snake out of the house. Animal Control would handle the problem.

[Nice. I had a cat that brought me mice, lizards, birds, frogs, and even a bat once, but never a poisonous snake.]

At 4:15 p.m., a caller from Del Bonita Way reported a small yellow truck with no plates on the front looked like it did not "fit" in the neighborhood.

[It is driving down the property values even as we speak officer!]

At 4:48 p.m., a man called from the 18000 block of Penn Valley Drive to request extra police patrol because his wife was just released from jail and she typically went to the home after being released.

[I hardly know where to go with this one. She is in jail often enough that she has a set pattern of behavior upon release? And she is his "wife," why shouldn't she go home to him? I bet there are some stories behind this entry.]

At 6:05 p.m., a caller from a gas station on Penn Valley Drive reported a boy was carrying a vacuum cleaner and a small bag. The caller said the juvenile looked very suspicious.

[Suspicious? Like he was willingly carrying the vacuum? Like he was enjoying it? Like he meant to use it to inflict grievous bodily harm?]

At 10:44 p.m., a woman called to report her children possibly found a body lying in the fast lane of Highway 20. The California Highway Patrol responded and reported finding clothing at the scene.

[At least this wrapped up without the expected "officers were unable to locate any body."]

At 2:08 p.m., a woman called from the 600 block of Packard Drive to report she received a cat from her neighbors. The cat had an eye problem so the neighbors took the cat into their apartment for medicine and they wouldn't give it back. Police determined both parties owned the cat and there was no crime. They were advised of civil remedies.

[What happened to "no cat can serve two masters?" Wait. Cat? That should rephrased "Police determined the cat owned both parties...."]

At 8:24 a.m., a caller from a grocery store on McKnight Way reported a tour bus was leaking fuel. Public Works was contacted for sand to apply to the leak.

[I would suggest applying some sort of patch to the leak and then just using the sand to absorb the already leaked fuel.]

At 9:52 p.m., a woman called from Auburn Road to report juveniles were loitering and ringing her doorbell, then running away.

[This is what we used to call "fun" when I was about 10 years old.]

At 7:33 a.m., a caller from Running M Drive at Highway 49 reported a man was hitting himself in the head and walking close to the roadway.

[He could have begun jumping in and out of traffic at any moment!]

At 1:07 a.m., a caller from the 12000 block of Highway 174 said he received a phone call from a man saying he was outside his residence in trouble and needing a place. The man who called the reporting person knew the reporting person's name but wouldn't identify himself. The reporting person didn't want to go outside and asked for an officer to contact him.

[People are just strange.]

Source: The Union (

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