Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LV

At 3:29 a.m., a caller from the Dorsey Drive overpass reported a woman estimated at less than 40 years old was wearing a hospital gown and walking on crutches toward East Main Street. Police contacted the woman. She was not a hospital patient.

[She just likes to feel the wind on her cheeks early in the morning.]

At 7:25 a.m., a woman called from the 200 block of Catherine Lane to report her husband was causing a disturbance in the middle of the street with no shirt on. Police transported the man to the hospital for a voluntary mental health evaluation.

[Is this the beginning of the "shirtless guy" season in Nevada County?]

At 3:06 a.m., a man called from the 11000 block of Banner Lava Cap to report a woman yelled for another neighbor to "shut up the dogs" then he heard three shots. He was worried someone shot the dogs. Deputies responded and determined an animal had gotten into the trash at the water treatment plant.

[Which cause the dogs to bark? Which caused the three shots? Close the loop for me here.]

At 12:54 p.m., a caller from Brunswick Road at Sutton Way reported the lights were not working and he sat at the light for more than five minutes without moving. A patrol officer was advised.

[I would nominate him for a patience award, but people exaggerate time so much that he probably sat there for two minutes maximum.]

At 6:27 p.m., a caller from the 300 block of Pleasant Street reported raw sewage was coming onto the street. Public Works was advised.

[They came by and change the street name to "Unpleasant Street."]

At 12:34 a.m., a caller from the 300 block of Pleasant Street reported a naked man had been asked to leave and he was refusing. The man later left the apartment after putting on a black shirt and shorts. The caller was advised to call back if the man returned.

[No mention of odor. And the guy put on his shirt again, so maybe the season has not yet begun in earnest.]

At 3:06 a.m., a caller form the 100 block of Ophir Street reported a possible prowler and creepy music being played. Police determined no one was walking around. The caller may have heard wind chimes.

[Chimes that play creepy music. I want some!]

At 9:28 a.m., a woman called from the 10000 block of Laura Lane to report receiving threats on her MySpace.com page. The caller was advised of the restraining order process.
[How does a restraining order work with a MySpace.com?]

At 5:44 p.m., a caller from the 12000 block of Alpha Loop reported there was a raft on the Yuba River with drudging equipment and no one was on the raft. The Forest Service was notified and the caller left a note on the raft.

[Matt Drudge declined to comment.]

At 7:23 a.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Banner Lava Cap Road reported a person broke down a door with a chainsaw, then left in a white truck. The caller did not want to press charges.

[Now there is a video I want to see posted to YouTube!]

At 11:57 p.m., police contacted a man on the 500 block of Pleasant Street who was "just sniffing flowers." He would be moving on.

[That sort of thing can get out of hand quickly, so good work!]

At 11:37 a.m., local law enforcement was advised to be on the lookout for a gray or tan 1984 Ford F150 LT with a bumper sticker on the tailgate that says "I love strippers." Two occupants, a 24-year-old man and a man in his 40s, may have a runaway juvenile in the truck with them.

[You got the year, model, and white-trash bumper sticker correct, but are a bit vague on the color. I am willing to bet the color he was really look for was "primer."]

At 4:48 p.m., a caller from Rattlesnake Road reported two men in a white truck with a custom shell were attempting to sell meat and were rude when told to leave.

[The ongoing experiment in selling meat while copping at attitude!]

At 7:15 p.m., a woman called from Pleasant Valley Road to report she was following a vehicle she believed was involved in shooting cows. She said she didn't know why she thought the people in the vehicle were involved in the shooting, just that "she's seen the vehicle around the area." She said she believed the vehicle was trying to evade her. She lost the vehicle. A deputy was advised.

[No corresponding call about being followed by some crazy woman.]

At 7:52 p.m., a caller from Auburn Faith Hospital reported a Nevada County man was at the emergency room with a small puncture would from a pellet gun in his lower abdomen. He told hospital staff he had been cleaning the gun when it discharged.

[Is "cleaning the gun" as an excuse ever NOT a lie? He was home alone and no doubt wondering just how much a pellet would hurt....]

At 3:05 p.m., a caller from a business on the 100 block of Neal Street reported a woman asked a customer to run her over, then she started crying.

[I guess the answer was "no" then.]

At 6:23 p.m., a caller from a business on the 100 block of Neal Street reported a man wanted to use the bathroom and he was denied. He said he would urinate on the building, then he left.

[In a somewhat rural area this isn't exactly a response at odds with accepted social norms. And suspicion of intent to urinate on a building isn't much or a crime.]

At 12:54 p.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Quincy Lane reported a juvenile answered an ad for a work opportunity in the newspaper and received a check in the mail for $4,000. The juvenile was asked to send money back to the person. No money was sent; the caller said the check bounced. A deputy contacted the caller.

[Well, at least the scam did not work on the kid. Too bad about the check bouncing.]

At 5:18 p.m., a caller from Thiel Way reported a large teen or young adult in a white furry suit jumped out of the brush at her when she drove by. Deputies were unable to locate the person in the furry suit.

[You would think a person like that would stand out, too.]

At 2:41 p.m., a man called from the 300 block of Pleasant Street to report he was removing his belongings from a residence and he believed a woman might call later to report the items as stolen. He requested contact should such a call come in.

[This has the ring of domestic fun.]

At 3:03 p.m., a woman called from the 300 block of Pleasant Street to report a man stole items from a residence. Police determined it was a civil issue and no burglary had occurred. Both people lived at the residence.

[Only 23 minutes and the prediction came true. Nice to see such accuracy from the general public.]

At 4:32 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Dorsey Drive reported a man was behind some bushes and he wasn't wearing all of his clothes.

[Which might explain his position behind the bushes.]

At 7:18 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Scotia Pines Circle reported two Pitt bulls were lose and chasing a woman and her two dogs. Animal Control was advised.

[I thought the University of Pittsburgh had a Panther as its mascot.]

At 7:24 a.m., a caller from Highway 49 at Christian Life Way reported a vehicle was involved in an accident with multiple deer. The CHP responded.

[Multiple dear pileup? Hrmm]

At 10:13 a.m., a caller from Highway 49 reported a man was making gestures and was partially in and out of traffic. The CHP was notified.

[The man was quite clearly preparing for full scale jumping in and out of traffic.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)