Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LXXIII

At 8:23 a.m., officers arrested a 39-year-old man on the 200 block of June Drive on suspicion of damaging a telephone and booked him into the Nevada County jail.

[It has been a while since we have seen a charge of damaging a telephone.]

At 5:04 p.m., a caller from a business on the 700 block of Freeman Lane reported that a man was in front of the store swinging a bayonet and bleeding from his hand. Officers made contact with the man, who agreed to be transported to the hospital.

[Somehow, that did not end the way I expected.]

At 7:02 p.m., a caller from a storage lot on the 2500 block of Ridge Road reported that he was stuck inside the lot and the gate security was not responding to his pass code. The caller said that he was opening the gate with a screwdriver, but he wouldn't be able to secure it. Officers contacted the owner, who said he would secure the gate.

[Lesson: Always bring a screw driver.]

12:17 a.m. - Officers cited and released a 59-year-old woman on suspicion of petty theft at the 200 block of Mill Street.

1:24 a.m. - Officers arrested a 59-year-old woman at a business on the 100 block of Neal Street on suspicion of drunk driving and driving with a suspended license and booked her into the Nevada County jail.

[There is no reason this should be the same woman, but I like to think it is.]

7:39 p.m. - A woman from the 14000 block of Indian Springs Road reported that she heard a moaning sound outside her house when she returned home. She couldn't find her husband and was checking to see where he was. She believed someone had hurt him. But she found her husband was playing a joke with her.

[Haven't we seen enough sitcoms to know that this soft of thing always ends badly?]

12:10 a.m., Sept. 29 - GVFD and NCFD responded to a vehicle that overturned during a police pursuit on Greenhorn Road. Emergency personnel found one occupant had gotten out of the wreck. Police officers utilized a GVFD thermal imaging camera to search for a second occupant who fled on foot. The first occupant was transported by law enforcement, after a medical assessment.

[You can find people with it? I really want one of those cameras!]

5:39 p.m. - A caller from a business on McKnight Way reported a man wearing no shoes was screaming and yelling at people and swinging a very large stick, trying to hit people. Police contacted the man and took his stick. The caller did not wish to press charges.

[Stick: Not Yours]

10:35 a.m. - A woman called 911 from the 14000 block of Lodgepole Drive to ask what the date was. A dispatcher provided the information to the caller.

[The date? I suppose sometimes it is just easier to handle that kind of call rather than start lecturing on the proper use emergency assistance.]

9:42 a.m. - A caller from Indian Springs Road reported a motorcycle was stuck in a tree with blood on the running board and in the roadway. No one was around, but the blood appeared to be fresh. A deputy determined there was no blood and it appeared to be Jell-O on the roadway. The motorcycle was left at the scene.

[Not just gelatin, but Jell-O brand gelatin. A deputy with a discerning pallet. This has to have been a prank. I wonder how they got the motorcycle in the tree.]

9:25 a.m.- A caller from the 100 block of West McKnight Way reported a man nearly 60 years old was scaring customers. Police contacted the man and advised him to move along.

[His "It's Halloween!" excuse was ignored.]

4:32 p.m. - A caller from the 600 block of East Main Street reported seeing tires rolling down the hill. One tire was found on the side of the road with no one around and no evidence that tires continued to roll down the street.

[I just want to repeat that there is NO evidence that tires continued to roll down the street. That is all.]

7:41 p.m. - A caller from the 100 block of Ramon Court reported feeling he was "under siege" because his garage door wasn't opening. He told the dispatcher he would use the front door that evening.

[Then the power went out for fifteen minutes. It was like the Bataan Death March.]

5:50 p.m. - A woman called 911 from the 14000 block of Lodgepole Drive to report she was upset because she wasn't getting any reception on her television. A dispatcher advised the woman to contact the cable company directly.

[Me? I would have been more likely to complain about the stuff on TV when I do get reception.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)