Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LXXIV

11:21 a.m. - A caller from South Church and Neal streets reported a man on a bus was yelling at a driver. Police contacted the man and he would be walking to North San Juan.

[It does not quite have the same ring as "Walking to New Orleans."]

11:45 a.m. - A person in the police station lobby reported the man from the bus incident was taking off all his clothing.

[Closer. "Walking Naked to North San Juan."]

12:04 p.m. - A caller from McCourtney Road asked for clarification about swastikas and what is lawful.

[Nosey neighbor or contentious vandal?]

2:04 p.m. - A caller from the 300 block of Pleasant Street reported an evicted resident was trying to move out, and she and another woman were "involved in a slapping fight." Police mediated the situation.

[That probably sounds a lot hotter than it really was.]

8:12 p.m. - A man from the 16000 block of Brewer Road reported a woman tried to run him over with a vehicle. Deputies determined the woman was the victim of an accident six months ago, and she had suffered severe brain injury. The man said he also was also bipolar. The dispute was over property. The man wanted to press charges, then later said he did not want to press charges.

[Well, he is bipolar. You want him to stick to one or the other, get him his medication.]

10:09 a.m. - A caller from a school on the 11000 block of Ridge Road reported doors had been vandalized. A deputy determined rocks had been thrown from a distance. The deputy took a report for vandalism.

[Thrown from a distance? My sister used to do this to our neighbor across the street.]

11:48 a.m. - A caller from a business on the 100 block of Mill Street reported a tall man went into the store twice and asked the caller to hold his hand. He was asking very personal questions. Police contacted the tall man and did not arrest him. They also contacted the caller, who would call again if the man returned.

[Can we hold hands?]

11:11 a.m. - A caller from Street Road reported someone was living in a bus at the intersection of Oak Mesa Drive. The person is reportedly on probation and is resistant to law enforcement. The matter was referred to code enforcement.

[Yeah, let the code enforcement guy go confront the guy in the bus.]

7:44 p.m. - A caller from the 100 block of Berryman Street dialed 911, then hung up. The caller dialed 911 again and reported the first call was a misdial. Police knocked on the door and no one answered. Twenty minutes later, someone from the same address dialed 911 twice. Police contacted two men and one woman and arrested the two men on suspicion of violation of probation.

[Way to bring attention to yourself!]

9:49 p.m. - A caller from a business on the 2000 block of Nevada City Highway reported that a man in his late 30s nicknamed "Turbo" said that law enforcement is aware he allegedly killed someone in self-defense. Police contacted the 30-year-old man and arrested him on a local warrant and advised him he was no longer welcome at the business.

[Do you think the "business" was a bar? Nice move Turbo!]

5:15 p.m. - A man called from the 15000 block of Ant Hill Road to report theft of mail from his residence sometime during the past week. A check was missing from an envelope. A deputy contacted the caller.

[Mail theft is bad, but I really want to know if you would buy a house on "Ant Hill Road?"]
11:05 p.m. - A woman called from the 15000 block of Kingsbury Circle to report a drunken person kicked in the woman's door and pushed her. A deputy and a taxi responded. No arrests were made.

[I bet the taxi got there first.]

12:09 p.m. - A woman called from the 11000 block of Lower Colfax Road to report a UPS truck came to her house, and she felt it was suspicious. She was "frantic and afraid for her life." She said a bomb had been dropped off at her house. A deputy transported the woman to a mental health facility, and she went voluntarily.

[Those UPS guys and their brown trucks.]

2:55 p.m. - A man in the sheriff's office lobby reported his daughter in Los Angeles was missing. The man has spoken with his daughter, and he did not want her to live in Los Angeles. This did not meet the criteria for a missing person.

[But haven't you seen "Escape from LA?"]

3:09 p.m. - A man from the 11000 block of Ridge Road reported five juveniles were waiting for him to leave so they could ride their skateboards on ramps they had been building.

[So, leave already and let the kids have their fun.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)