Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XCIII

1:34 a.m. - A woman called from the 18000 block of Biladeau Lane to report being threatened and harassed by her mother over religious issues.

[No doubt mom was indicating where she thought her daughter would end up given her current behavior.]

11:08 a.m. - A caller from a business on the 24100 block of Dark Horse Drive reported all the beer had been stolen.

[Not just "beer," but "all the beer!" A sad day for somebody.]

4 p.m. - A caller from the 17900 block of Highway 49 said someone opened her locked door with a butter knife while she was away.

[There is something about "butter knife" that makes this all the more humiliating.]

10:04 a.m. - A caller from the 12000 block of Lakeshore Drive reported two ceramic pieces were stolen from her home.

[Garden gnome theft?]

7:52 a.m. - A caller from King Court reported a neighbor's house was flooding, and water was coming out of it.

[The mental image is probably better than the reality. I wonder if it was a burst water bed?]

9:12 a.m. - A caller from a parking lot on the 700 block of Freeman Lane reported a man punched his silver Buick, denting it, and then drove away.

[Ouch? Aren't those made out of steel or something? They used to be when I was a kid.]

1:13 a.m. - Officers arrested a 33-year-old man on the 15000 block of Tyler Foote Road on suspicion of threatening a crime, willfully following and harassing another person, possessing certain weapons, carrying a concealed dagger, evading a peace officer while operating a vehicle and driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

[Just another fun Saturday night!]

3:08 p.m. - A caller from the 10000 of Bragg Avenue reported finding a Bowie knife in some bushes. The caller didn't know who owns the knife.

[That is a pretty sizable find. A real Bowie knife is not generally a small item.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XCII

5:10 p.m. - A caller reported hearing about a dozen gun shots coming from the area of Nevada Union High School on Ridge Road. Police arrived to find a track meet in progress. The shots may have been fired to start the races.

[Damn starter's gun!]

8:27 a.m. - A woman called from the 500 block of Silva Avenue to report finding three ant traps on her upper deck, which were not there the day before. The woman believed someone used a ladder to do it. The upper deck is only accessible from the outside by ladder.

[The ant trapper strikes again!]

11:54 a.m. - A woman called from the 200 block of Boulder Street to report several art pieces were missing from an unoccupied residence. The last time the woman saw the art pieces was in 2000. Police would take a report.

[So, somewhere in the last eight years or so...]

7:14 a.m. - A caller from a radio station on the 1000 block of East Main Street reported receiving threats from a man who was upset with the station's reporting. The man seemed to become more irate each time he called.

[I wonder what reporting set him off? The weather? The sports? Traffic?]

10:30 a.m. - A caller from a school on South Auburn Street reported the theft of andy.

[I can only imagine that andy's parents are distraught.]

3:41 p.m. - A caller reported a vehicle was going the wrong way on Highway 49 between Gold Flat Road and Grass valley City limits. A CHP officer stopped the vehicle and everything was fine.

[Fine, aside from going the wrong way on Highway 49.]

11:56 a.m. - A caller reported two juvenile males were walking through an empty lot at Leduc Street and Whiting Street. One was carrying a bat, and the other was carrying a saw.

[And they were going to walk into a bar to kick off a joke.]

11:19 p.m. - A man called from the 300 block of Bennett Street to report he needed to be taken to jail because he was violating the terms of his probation by drinking alcohol. Police arrested the 35-year-old man on suspicion of violation of probation.

[Ask and you shall receive?]

1:51 p.m. - A man called from the 11000 block of Honey Mushroom Lane to report a person shot at him today. He said he would purchase a gun, then he hung up the phone. A man called to report the first caller threw a rock at his vehicle. None of the callers wanted contact from law enforcement.

[It is times like this that the waiting period for a gun seems like a good idea.]

6:24 p.m. - A caller from the 15000 block of Tippy Way reported two men in a red and silver lifted truck hit a mailbox with a baseball bat.

[Mailbox Polo!]

8:06 a.m. - A caller from a school on the 400 block of Searls Avenue reported daffodils were vandalized.

[Crime against flowers.]

9:08 p.m. - A caller from the 400 block of South Auburn Street reported a man in his 30s, wearing a St. Patrick's Day hat, was yelling at passing cars. Police contacted the 36-year-old man, who had been drinking. They did not arrest him.

[Drunk people on St. Patrick's Day?]

2:43 p.m. - A caller reported losing teeth in Fairfield.

[Fairfield is that sort of town.]

10:31 p.m. Tuesday ­ A caller from the 300 block of Spring Street reported a man wearing a red shirt and carrying a banjo was banging on a window. Police were unable to locate the man.

[Banjo related crimes!]

5:30 p.m. - A caller from the 100 block of East McKnight Way reported that a man in a blue Geo with gray primer on the fenders was throwing rocks at cars.

[Throwing rocks as "real" cars.]

9:52 a.m. - A caller from a business on the 13000 block of Ridge Road reported a blue van had been parked across the street since 7 a.m. A deputy contacted a person in the van, who was a private investigator watching a house. The private investigator would call the sheriff's office next time.

[Nice work there, Mannix.]

4:35 p.m. - A man called from the 19000 block of Legacy Lane to report Internet fraud. He placed an order online and he did not receive the merchandise. A deputy advised the man to get an attorney.

[An attorney? If he wants to spend more money. How about the credit card company?]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Meet in the Middle

Somebody is working on a web application called Mezzoman that lets you to put in two locations for which it finds the midpoint and will then suggest a meeting place based on an additional criteria you can enter, such as coffee, Japanese food, or movie theater.

It basically uses Google to pick a mid-point meeting place for two people.

The comedy comes in when you start getting further apart geographically.

Finding a Greek place between San Jose and Palo Alto predictably puts up a couple of locations in Sunnyvale and Santa Clara.

Changing that to San Jose, CA and Orlando, FL puts the mid-point choice in Wellington, Texas. Perhaps not my first choice of locations.

Still, it is a nifty little application. I could see using it to pick spots for a mid-day meal on a road trip, though I would want a feature that would let me stick within, say, two miles of the interstate highway.

For example, picking a place between San Jose and Carlsbad, CA, I am unlikely to drive miles off of Highway 5 just for pizza.

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XCI

7:42 a.m. - A caller reported a boy was skateboarding down the middle of Hughes Road.

[See, it is a crime.]

6:42 p.m. - A woman called from Gold Flat Road at Zion Street to report she hit a gate at a church, and she could not move her car because it was impaled on the gate. An officer responded, determined there was no damage to the gate, and would remain at the church until the woman's husband arrived to help with the car.

[There is something old testament about a car impaled on a gate at a church.]

9:08 a.m. - A caller from the 17000 block of Highway 20 reported being blackmailed by a county department.

[The county department of extortion?]

10:34 a.m. - A woman called from the 18000 block of Biladeau Lane to report her medications were stolen and that it is possible they were stolen while she was visiting a friend at a motel in Grass Valley. She said her dog also was hit this morning, and the driver took off.

[What's the police code for a country western song in progress?]

7:06 p.m. - A caller from Colfax Avenue reported being hit in the face with a beer can thrown from a vehicle. The victim declined to file a report.

[I hope it was an empty]

8:42 a.m. - A caller from the 22000 block of East Hacienda Drive reported stuffed bears were burned and gas cans were nearby.

[That what happens when you don't pay the county department of extortion.]

9:44 a.m. - A caller from the 13000 block of Wheeler Acres Road reported an auto burglary.

9:53 a.m. - A caller from the 15000 block of Pleasant Valley Road reported the theft of a gate opener.

1:01 p.m. - A caller from the 13000 block of Wheeler Acres Road reported a theft from an unlocked vehicle.

1:07 p.m. - A caller from the 13000 block of Wheeler Acres Road reported a theft from an unlocked residence.

2:06 p.m. - A caller from the 16000 block of Pleasant Valley Road reported the theft of a gate opener.

[Crime spree... I wonder if there is something interesting you can do with these gate openers?]

12:01 a.m. - A caller reported a man on East Main Street was walking in the roadway, shouting and scaring people. Police contacted the man, who was fine.

[He was just shouting and scaring people. That's his thing.]

11:18 a.m. - A man called from Benedict Canyon in the Greenhorn Creek area to report numerous motorcycles were going around his gate. He said he would go out with a bat and a gun to take care of the problem. Deputies contacted the caller and located several people, but they didn't match the description of the people going around his gate.

[I'll get go out with a bat and a gun and take care of the problem. Why even call the police then?]

11:24 a.m. A man called from the 700 block of Zion Street to report his vehicle was stolen. Police determined the vehicle was repossessed.

[Oh, yeah... the car payment.]

6:29 p.m. - A caller reported eight juveniles were drinking at the end of Maryland Drive for more than an hour. One of the occupants was outside the car when officers arrived. Officers advised the person to pour out what was left of the alcohol and clean up the mess. There was no underage drinking.

[Pour out that beer! Now clean up that mess you just made!]

2:38 p.m. Tuesday ­ A man called from Gautier Drive to report a 12-year-old boy shot a BB gun toward her residence. A deputy determined the event was about some chickens roaming in the neighborhood. Animal Control was notified.

[So was there a shooter or not?]

2:50 p.m. Tuesday ­ A woman called from the 15000 block of Thornberry Way to report her husband just sped off with the cat and was driving recklessly. The CHP was notified.

[He's taken the cat and there is no telling what he'll do!]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)

Amazon.com as Creative Muse

One of the great things about Amazon.com product reviews is that the right product can both bring forth the creative spark and act as an an emotional outlet for people.

I hold up, as an example, the reviews for the Playmobile Security Checkpoint.

Check them out.

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XC

7:56 p.m. - A caller from a business on the 100 block of Mill Street reported a woman with a mullet hair style, a tattoo across her chest and large hoop earrings was refusing to leave. Police contacted the 26-year-old woman, advised her to leave, and she did.

[Is it still a mullet if it is a woman's hair? Wikipedia suggests the term "Fem-Mullet."]

8:45 p.m. - A caller from a business on the 200 block of West Main Street reported a large woman with a mullet and a tattoo across her chest committed vandalism. A bartender was holding her outside until police arrived. Officers arrested the 26-year-old woman on suspicion of vandalism, resisting arrest and public drunkenness.

[I think she must be taking the "party in the back" part too seriously.]

9:30 a.m. - A caller from downtown reported a man with no shoes yelling inappropriate things. Another caller reported the man was "doing cartwheels" in front of a business.

[And he has no shoes.]

5:53 p.m. - A caller from the 14000 block of Chisum Trail reported a neighbor threatened to plant oleanders along the fence and to poison the caller's horses, if the caller didn't move a pasture gate.

[Is threatening to plant oleanders really a threat?]

7:56 p.m. - A caller from Allison Ranch Road reported seeing several unknown white lights in varying patterns in the sky over Grass Valley and Nevada City. The lights were later determined to be revolving spotlights.

[No UFO report this week.]

4:18 - A person made a report in the lobby of a stolen cell phone.

[It has been a while since I have seen a cell phone big enough to have its own lobby.]

9:30 p.m. - A caller from the 10000 block of Alta Sierra Drive reported receiving annoying phone calls from a man she sold a puppy to last week.

[Was the puppy misrepresented as house broken?]

6:07 p.m. - A woman in the police station lobby reported her neighbor on Juan Way was terrorizing her. The neighbor shot a "wrist rocket" into the woman's windshield, damaging it. The "terrorism" was an ongoing issue. Police contacted the woman and determined there was no crime.

[Homeland Security can stand down.]

1 p.m. - A man called from the 14000 block of Pilot Peak Lane to report a person who was using the caller's easement to see his neighbor. The caller wanted to file indecent exposure charges against a woman.

[The weather still seems a bit chilly to start exposing ones self, indecently or otherwise.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)