Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XCIV

10:44 p.m. A woman from Dolores Drive called the Grass Valley Police Department, saying she was afraid someone was going to "rob" the residence. An anonymous man called to report it appeared a woman was being held against her will in the back seat of a vehicle with a suspect. A search was conducted with negative results.

[Nobody with intent to "rob" and nobody being held against their will. Negative.]

6:40 p.m. - A caller from the 11000 block of Cedar Ridge Drive reported a person out in the yard, screaming and causing a ruckus.

[I just want to know when a "ruckus" becomes a "disturbance."]

9:08 a.m. - A woman called to report a residence she is taking care of on the 400 block of Washington Street was burglarized.

[That's going to be awkward when the owner's return. Burglary has to rank up there with having a pet you are watching for somebody die.]

9:21 a.m. - A woman called from Dog Bar Road to report someone shot an arrow into a tree next to her daughter, who was outside burning debris. The woman told a deputy she did not see the arrow shot into the tree. She just noticed it was there.

[It could have been there for weeks.]

3:35 p.m. Monday­ Several callers from apartments on the 200 block of Sutton Way reported a woman threw a television over a railing. Police contacted the people and all was fine.

[It is hard to imagine how people could be mistaken about that sort of thing, but then it was April 1st.]

8:50 a.m. - A caller from Condon Park reported a possible peeping Tom. The man had a hood over his head and was crouching under a bush looking toward apartments with binoculars. Police contacted the man, who said he was watching wildlife in the park.

[Still, it is hard not to turn and look at anything interesting that might happen in the apartments.]

10:44 a.m. - A woman at the front counter reported someone sent a gun in the mail to her home on the 13000 block of Laurel Hill Loop. She turned the gun in to the sheriff's office for destruction.

[Guns in the mail. I thought we stopped that in the 60s.]

12:34 a.m. - A man called from the 15000 block of Bitney Springs Road to report a man knocked on his door and was screaming on his front porch. The man was wearing a brown sweater and one leather glove. The man drove away.

[Michael? Does Michael Jackson still wear just one glove?]

10:42 a.m. - People who appeared to be selling T-shirts on the corner of East Main Street and South Auburn Street said they had a permit, but research at city hall did not result in any permits. The people needed a business license and an encroachment permit to sell shirts. Police contacted the people and they said they were not selling. They were displaying the shirts, and they did have a permit.

[There is a fine line between "displaying" and "selling" I guess.]

3:40 p.m. - A caller reported a juvenile was walking "strangely" on Mill Street at Bank Street. Police were unable to locate the juvenile.

[I like that even the police put the word "strangely" in quotes, as if to distance themselves from it.]

2:40 p.m. - A caller from the 18000 block of Scotts Flat Road reported a family member stole a bulldozer. Police determined the issue was not criminal.

[Bulldozer related family disturbances. You don't get that in the big city.]

4:51 p.m. - A woman called from Condon Park to report a woman was lighting wood on fire at the park. After someone asked the woman what she was doing, she threw ignited wood in the creek. She then drove toward the disc golf area in a red Subaru. Police located the woman and advised her to stay out of the park for the day.

[Banned from the park... for the rest of the day. Not a very stern measure at nearly five in the afternoon.]

6:40 p.m. - A caller from a business on the 100 block of Neal Street reported a man was lighting paper on fire. Police told the man to move on and advised him of the dangers of playing with fire.

[More fire. And he didn't even get banned from something.]
Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)