Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XCVII

8:38 a.m. - A caller from South Auburn Street near La Barr Meadows Drive reported a suspicious-looking man was carrying a large gun.

[I think, unless you are in law enforcement, carrying a large gun automatically makes you suspicious.]

11:45 a.m. - A caller from a store on the 100 block of West McKnight Way reported a person collecting signatures for a petition was yelling over her while she also collected signatures for a petition, and she felt it was harassment.

[Were they conflicting petitions, or was this some "zero sum" signature paranoia? "Oh no, I'm getting used signatures!"]

5:31 p.m. - A woman called from the 100 block of Stacey Lane to report her neighbors, all young men, were playing loud music and they refused to turn it down. She asked them to clean up the beer bottles in their front yard and they would not. They hung a swastika in their front window facing her home, and when she complained and said it was offensive, one of the men lifted his shirt to expose a swastika tattoo, she said. He said he liked the history of the swastika. An officer contacted the woman.

[Think of these guys when you have problems with your neighbors. Things could be worse.]

12:20 a.m. - Three callers from Race Street reported hearing a fight and a gunshot. Police contacted several people. The activity was shut down for the night and everyone was going home. No arrests were made.

[The "fighting and shooting guns" activity?]

11:07 a.m. - A caller from Tyler Foote Crossing Road reported a large cow was in the roadway.

[A large cow. Not one of those indoor cows that the Hollywood celebs are so fond of these days.]

3:15 p.m. - A deputy contacted an ice cream truck driver on the 11000 block of Highway 174. The deputy was following up on a report Wednesday of loud music.

[Still no answer on the laws covering ice cream truck music though.]

6:24 p.m. - A caller from a motel on the 900 block of Sutton Way reported someone stole gasoline tanks of cars that belonged to guests. No one wanted to file a report.

[Somebody is stealing gasoline tanks of cars!?! gasoline "from" tanks of cars. You'll see a lot more of that as the price of gas rises.]

8:48 p.m. - A caller from the 300 block of Northstar Place reported neighbors were playing loud music, they had been drinking and they were making inappropriate noises. Police contacted the people who be staying inside.

[We be taking our inappropriate noises indoors!]

10:04 a.m. - A man called from the 100 block of Chester Street to report finding a number of purses and car parts that had been thrown in his yard last night. He believed the items may have been stolen. Police responded and retrieved a hat and two empty zipper pouches.

[Something does not add up.]

2:25 p.m. - a caller from the 22000 block of Queequog Lane reported theft of a doghouse.

[Dog house theft. Things have gotten bad. But cheers for street names that are literary references, even if they are misspelled.]

4:27 p.m. - A caller reported a road rage incident that started on Highway 20 between Penn Valley and Grass Valley. A person driving a blue Honda Matrix followed the caller home. The person in the Matrix left, and the CHP was notified.

[Toyota. Toyota makes the Matrix, not Honda.]

10:14 p.m. - A caller from Pheasant Road reported promiscuous shooting in a back yard. A person denied having firearms and denied shooting.

[Our parents warned us about promiscuous shooting! Plus, when in doubt, deny everything.]

6:35 p.m. - A caller from Gray Oak Drive reported 20 horses were in the roadway. Animal Control would respond in 30 minutes. An Animal Control officer was unable to locate the horses.

[Twenty seems like a lot of horses to miss, even in the tricky glow of twilight.]

2:19 p.m. - A woman called from the 100 block of North Pine Street to report a man said he would kill any other men the woman dated. She said the man told her he has killed before. Police took a report.

[Again, without context, I picture this guy showing up out of nowhere with this.]

8:52 p.m. - The GVFD responded to a report of a person stuck in the bath tub. Firefighters located the stuck occupant and extricated her from the tub. The woman suffered no injuries.

[No physical injuries. I imagine being stuck in the tub would be a bit humiliating.]

12:37 p.m. - A bus driver reported a man was drinking alcohol in a bus stop shelter on the 700 block of Sutton Way. Police cited a 48-year-old man on suspicion of having an open container of alcohol.

1:46 p.m. - A caller from the 200 block of East Main Street reported a man was jumping in and out of traffic and yelling at cars. Police contacted the same 48-year-old man they cited earlier at the bus stop shelter and advised him to move on.

[We haven't seen anybody jumping in and out of traffic for a while... or a multi-part story.]

3:19 p.m. - A caller reported a man was walking on Colfax Avenue holding a baby car seat. Police were unable to locate the man.

[You can't walk around here holding just anything you know!]

6:23 a.m. - A man called from the 100 block of Ruby Ledge Court to report that when he went outside in the morning, he found an extra bag of garbage next to his garbage can. Police determined the bag contained garbage.

[Case solved!]

8:24 a.m. - A man from School Street reported his neighbor was throwing trash into his yard.

[We will believe it is trash when the police determine it to be so!]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)