Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XXIII

At 3:36 a.m., a caller reported a man on the 200 block of Mill Street was in a fight with another person, and he may have been brandishing a gun. Police made contact with the man who was reportedly causing the disturbance. The man had been drinking and police were unable to locate any weapon. The man was advised to keep it down.

[They must have filled their "drunk in public" quota for the night. Or is 4am a shift change?]

At 9:22 a.m., a woman called from the 16000 block of Autumn Oak Road to report her teen daughter was flying out of control because she took away the girl's text messaging privileges. The girl was throwing things around the house. The mother was upset because of the cost of the service. A deputy mediated the situation.

[Text messaging? Throwing things around the house? I can hardly wait for my daughter to hit the teen years.]

At 11:23 a.m., a woman from the same Autumn Oak Road address reported the teenage girl was hitting her sibling and the caller because she was very upset about text messaging being taken away. An officer made contact and the alleged victim declined prosecution for assault. The juvenile was outside in the brush.

[I'm sorry, if my daughter was hitting me, the police would not need to get involved even once. And, if they had to get involved, somebody would be spending a night in the slam.]

At 2:30 p.m., a woman called from the 14000 block of Dalmatian Drive to report her neighbor threatened to kill all of her dogs for no reason. The caller was afraid the neighbor had mental health issues.

[The pressure of living on Dalmatian Drive just got to the neighbor I bet.]

At 8:26 a.m., the Placer County Sheriff's Office asked the Nevada County Sheriff's Office to contact a man regarding a burned Hyundai. Deputies attempted to make contact, but the man was dead, and they advised the Placer County.

[That second sentence is a self-contained tragedy. Sort of "We Went Looking for Godot." Still, I wonder if this is related to the guy last week who was going to burn his car.]

At 3:04 p.m. a caller reported seeing a deer wrapped in a green blanket that smelled deceased on the side of the road on Rough and Ready Highway.

[Smelled deceased? Wasn't the fact that it was wrapped in a green blanket and presumably laying on the ground sufficient? Did it have to pass the sniff test?]

At 5 p.m. a caller from the 11200 block of Sierra Circle reported a golf cart had been abandoned in her yard for two days and she was concerned it might be stolen.

[I've said it before and I will say it again: Lock up your golf carts!]

At 7:31 a.m. a caller reported seeing a white pickup truck on the 13900 block of Highway 49 with a male and female in the back cutting the head off a deer.

[How did it smell? Or were they filming "Bring Me the Head of Bambi's Mother?"]

At 12:17 a.m. a woman called from Connie Drive saying there were lights hovering in the sky, possibly from a UFO, just south of her residence.

[I have waited five years for a UFO report to appear in the police blotter. It came sooner than I expected.]

At 6:50 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Sutton Way reported hearing a male voice yelling in a field in the back of an apartment complex. Police made contact with a 42-year-old man and arrested him for probation violation.

[I always think, "If you have a warrant or are on probation, wouldn't you want to play things cool?" But, then, this may explain why these people have warrants or are on probation.]

At 11:55 a.m., a caller from the 100 block of Carpenter Street reported a rock hit a skylight. Police determined it was possibly a walnut.

[Case files that will never make it into any remake of "Dragnet."]

At 6:49 p.m., a woman called from the 13000 block of Rough and Ready Highway to report her daughter was smoking marijuana in front of her younger brother and refusing to reveal where it was. The woman said she was leaving the residence to go to Bible study but wanted a deputy to cite the girl while she was gone. When the deputy was at the residence to cite the girl, she ran.

[Okay, some things are more important that bible study. But then, this attitude probably explains why her daughter is smoking marijuana and probably running up a huge text messaging bill.]

At 9:03 p.m., deputies alerted local law enforcement to be on the lookout for a 17-year-old girl who ran from them when they were about to cite her for disturbing the peace and being under the influence of marijuana.

[Somehow I think they deputy did not give chase with any enthusiasm, not that I blame him. Still, a stoned 17-year-old girl got away from him. That had to get some comments back at the station.]

At 7:43 a.m., a caller from the 13000 block of Loma Rica Drive reported a foul odor coming from an apartment. The caller said this had been ongoing and the fumes were so bad they were making other tenants sick in the building. A deputy made contact and there was no odor in the area. The caller was given the deputy's card and told to call again when the smell is around.

[My friend Nick has this problem. His neighbors eat only burned food. We speculate that this is for religious reasons.]

At 2:14 p.m., a woman called from the 300 block of Brunswick Road to report a man took a fraudulent check from a customer after she told him not to take any more checks.

[You can fire the employee, but he has not committed a crime, unless you can prove he was in league with the passer of the bad check.]

At 9:05 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of Ophir Street reported his apartment was broken into and his crayfish was stolen. Police made contact and were unable to locate any point of entry.

[Could there be escaped crayfish on the loose?!?]

At 12:41 a.m., a woman called to report someone has been trying to break into her son-in-law's house on the 10000 block of Lime Kiln Road to try and kill him. Deputies determined the call was unfounded.

[Another case of wishful thinking.]

At 10:09 a.m., a caller from Dog Bar Road reported being assaulted. A person grabbed the caller's arm during a discussion about loose dogs and driving too fast. The caller requested a log entry only.

[Loose dogs and fast cars! Wasn't that picture in the series along with the dogs playing poker?]

At 12:14 p.m., a caller from the 13000 block of Torrey Pines Drive reported forged money orders. The crime was committed in Canada and was incomplete.

[That seems like a long way to go to "almost" commit a crime.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)