Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XXIX

At 7:21 p.m., a woman called from the 200 block of Dorsey Drive to report a man was screaming and he threatened her when she asked him to quiet down. The man was in his early 20s with his dark hair sticking straight up.

[If not for his hair, I probably would not have included this. Did he do his hair special for this behavior, or is this his normal style?]

At 5:23 p.m., a man called from the 20000 block of Pleasant Valley Road to report a person was driving up and down a dirt road behind his home continually honking the car horn.

[Wheeeee!]

At 7:16 p.m., a woman called from the 10000 block of Robin Avenue to report catching a juvenile trying to kiss another juvenile.

[Alert the press! Oh, wait, this was in the paper.]

At 8:15 p.m., a caller from 11000 block of Butler Road said a neighbor was waving a baseball bat and threatening people.

[Further adventures in neighbor relations.]

At 9:34 a.m., a person on the 10000 block of Terrace Oaks Lane said medicinal marijuana plants had been stolen from his or her yard. The caller had a current prescription for the plants.

[So at least the caller might not get arrested along with the thief.]

At 10:22 a.m., a person slit a turkey's throat and hung the animal from a tree with a noose around its feet, according to a caller on the 10000 block of Gautier Drive. The turkey was taken down after law enforcement arrived.

[That turkey doesn't just wrap itself in a Butterball package, you do have to kill them and drain the blood. Still, I might not do this in my front yard.]

At 7:51 p.m., a woman called from the 300 block of Pleasant Street to report hearing firecrackers outside. She also thought she saw a person with a gun earlier in the day, but she wasn't sure if it was real. Police checked the area and were unable to locate firecrackers or a person with a gun.

[I might have called a little sooner about the person with the gun.]

At 2:28 a.m., a woman called from the 100 block of Richardson Street to report she was assaulted by a man and he broke her cellular phone and mirrors. Police determined there was no assault or property damage. The woman called back an hour later to report she suffered injuries from the assault. Police made contact and determined again there was no sign of assault.

[Motivation. What is her motivation?]

At 8:48 a.m., a caller from McCourtney Road at Brighton Street reported a possible drunken driver in a white Chevrolet with no tailgate. The driver looked to be about 65 years old. Police made contact and determined the man was trying to use his cell phone while driving. He was admonished to stop.

[Anecdotal confirmation of those studies that say using your cell phone while driving makes you as dangerous as you would be if you were drunk.]

At 1:49 p.m., a caller from the 17000 block of Penn Valley Drive reported theft of a baby Jesus from a nativity scene. A deputy took a report for petty theft.

[So much blasphemy. Is stealing baby Jesus really only petty theft? I think that down in Lubbock it is a felony.]

At 9:05 a.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Harmony Ridge Road reported theft of medical marijuana in September or October. A deputy made a log entry. There was no proof of any suspect.

[We continue with the drug/crime correlation study here. If you grow it, they will come. Tip: If you can narrow down the crime to, say, a single month, the police really appreciate it.]

At 9:31 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of West Berryhill Drive reported a vehicle had hit the building. The vehicle was being driven by a 25-year-old person who left by the time police arrived. The person was contacted later on Alta Street and advised not to return to the address on Berryhill.

[Wasn't there a hit and run here?]

At 10:18 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of Carpenter Street reported someone threw a rock at her skylight. No damage was caused.

[I am betting on it being another walnut.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)