Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XXX

At 11:46 a.m., an out-of-breath caller from the 200 block of Park Avenue reported a vehicle burglary.

[I cannot explain why I included this item. There is something amusing about the out-of-breath angle. Did he chase the people who broke into his car or was the nearest phone up three flights of stairs?]

At 11:33 a.m., a man from the 10600 block of Silver Way reported a subject sucker-punched him and made threats.

[If you have been sucker-punched does that not make you, by definition, a sucker? Though, thinking about it, being rabbit punched does not make you a rabbit, so I am not sure.]

At 2:37 p.m., a caller reported two subjects at Neal and Townsend streets shooting airsoft guns at each other while using foul language.

[Somebody get these guys an Xbox]

At 10:52 p.m., a man from the 300 block of Sutton Way said his upstairs neighbor pulled a knife on him, so he punched him in the face.

[The ongoing strain of being neighborly in the modern world.]

At 12:50 p.m., a man called from the 100 block of Lidster Avenue reported someone sent him inappropriate photographs on his e-mail.

[And what did the police suggest?]

At 3:42 p.m., a man reported the theft of a computer on the 100 block of East Main Street. He asked an officer to stand by while he retrieved it.

[I'm interested to know how far this computer got that this guy knows where it is and can go pick it up.]

At 7:26 p.m., a person came to the police lobby to complain about a towing company. The person was told to deal with the towing company directly.

[Peace officer powers are not available at this time.]

At 10 p.m., a caller reported three juveniles were playing under an overcrossing pointing lasers at people. Police gave the youths a ride home, and their parents said they would keep them for the night.

[Tomorrow however....]

At 9:29 a.m., a woman from the 10000 block of Gold Hill Drive reported ongoing harassment by a neighbor, who was outside yelling things about her to the people who were cleaning the roadside drains.

[And some of these people move up to Grass Valley to get away from annoying neighbors....]

At 10:32 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of Catherine Way reported a 66-year-old man using a walker had walked away from the convalescent facility. Police found the man at the hospital emergency room, and gave him a ride back.

[Did anybody stop and ask if, perhaps, this man struggled all the way to the emergency room for a reason?]

At 11:12 p.m., a caller reported a girl hitchhiking at the South Auburn Street onramp. Police gave the girl a ride.

[That worked out for everybody, now didn't it?]

At 7:57 a.m., a man from the 100 block of Richardson Street reported the air was let out of his vehicle's tires. He was leaving for a restraining order hearing and would go to the police station later to file a report.

[I bet he can guess who let the air out of his tires.]

At 6:34 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of West McKnight Way reported a man with long hair wearing sweats and a leather jacket was yelling that someone stole his bike. Police made contact with the 42-year-old man and arrested him for violation of probation.

[Again, if you're on probation, have a warrant, or are otherwise vulnerable, keep your head down and your mouth shut.]

At 9:50 a.m., a caller from the 12000 block of Pleasant Valley Road to report hearing four gunshots close to the residence. A deputy made contact. A person was shooting at a skunk.

[That's just fine then. Unless you're the skunk.]

At 9:30 a.m., a caller from Tall Pines Mobile Home Estates reported a man in Nevada and Placer counties was impersonating a Burrows Security guard to enter homes without permission. The man was driving a white Ford Ranger with a toolbox in the back and a black star on the side. Burrows Security uses a gold star.

[Take note of the color of the star.]

At 10:49 p.m., a woman called from the 18000 block of Nubian Way to report hearing a suspicious noise outside her residence. She saw someone walking near her car and toward a pond. A deputy responded. The disturbance was a bear.

[A suspicious bear.]

At 12:38 p.m., a caller from Commercial Street reported a man was acting strangely and kicking his old Buick.

[If it is anything like old Buicks I have known, his behavior was not so strange.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)