Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LIII

At 1:40 p.m., a woman called 911 from a pay telephone at a gas station on the 16000 block of Penn Valley Drive to talk to a deputy. The woman was advised to call the nonemergency number, but she said she could not afford the 50 cents. Deputies contacted the woman and advised her not to use 911 for a taxi service. The woman had a bike and was advised to move on.

[Note: 911 is not a taxi service.]

At 4:15 p.m., a caller from Highway 49 at Smith Road reported a juvenile with a machete was on the side of the road attacking bushes. Deputies were unable to locate the juvenile.

[But isn't that what movies have taught us to do with machetes?]

At 9:20 p.m., a woman called from the 19000 block of Tall Timbers Lane to report a person was outside her residence. She had heard him running about a minute earlier. Deputies responded and located two bears up a tree. The property was secure.

[Except for those two bears outside in a tree.]

At 5:33 p.m., a woman called from the 100 block of Eureka Street to report her dog had a large cat cornered, possibly a mountain lion. An officer contacted the woman. There was no mountain lion.

[Bears and lions again? Cornering a mountain lion. Not high on my list of things to do.]

At 8:19 p.m., a caller from the 900 block of Sutton Way reported a 30-year-old man with a heavy gut, wearing an unusual apron and a multicolored rainbow beanie, was making threats in the California Highway Patrol parking lot. The man left.

[If they couldn't find this guy...]

At 6:53 p.m., a woman called from the 21000 block of Oakridge Drive to report a neighbor lurks around the bushes and tries to scare her. He talks about having lights all over his body and he said he wanted to "find" a woman. He seemed to have a mental condition.

[Seemed?]

At 9:21 p.m., a woman called from the 13000 block of Mooney Flat Road to report catching juveniles who shot her cow. Deputies took a report for cruelty to animals.

[They shoot cows, don't they?]

At 7:29 a.m., the California Highway Patrol advised of a dead cow stuck in a fence at Mooney Flat Road and Pleasant Valley Road.

[Um...]

At 9:39 p.m., an extremely intoxicated caller from the 400 block of East Main Street reported believing gangsters were attacking a gas station clerk. Police determined everything at the gas station was fine.

[No gangsters.]

At 1:31 p.m., a woman called from the 10000 block of Rough and Ready Highway to request police check on a person who was walking around with scissors and was threatening to beat car windows out. Deputies responded and the person was transported to the hospital.

[Now if he had been running with scissors...]

At 1:35 p.m., a caller reported a three-day rave, or large party, was taking place at the Chicago Powerhouse. The CHP and Placer County Sheriff's Office sent in a deputy and an air unit to ensure the party was dispersed. The party was over.

[An air unit dispatched to stop a party!]

At 8:20 p.m., a man called from the 19000 block of Buck Mountain Road to report four juveniles in two golf carts had been racing on the street throughout the day and had driven over the caller's lawn and garden. The CHP was advised.

[I was looking for the "golf cart theft" that usually goes hand in hand with these entries, but no such luck.]

At 9:47 p.m., a caller from the Town of Washington reported a large party near a hotel. Underaged people were drinking and people were hanging off the back of moving vehicles. Deputies determined there were several drunken people in town.

[A pretty safe finding, if you ask me.]

At 4:45 p.m., a driver from the intersection of South Auburn and Main Street reported that someone had thrown soda on his white Jeep Cherokee. Officers responded and found the Jeep owner driving around the area yelling at people over his car's PA system. Officers made contact with the person who threw the soda, who agreed to buy cleaning supplies for the Jeep owner.

[Anal retentive person driving a white Jeep with a PA system. A road rage victim in the making.]

At 6:56 p.m., a woman called from the 300 block of Dorsey Drive to report someone had been repeatedly breaking into her apartment and suspicious things were happening to her furniture. Things have gone missing, then showed up. Police contacted the woman and determined no crime had occurred.

[No crime, no foul!]

At 2:58 a.m., police stopped a vehicle at a gas station on East Main Street. The driver had not been drinking. The driver was a newspaper delivery person.

[If he worked for a newspaper, one could see this as a natural mistake.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)