Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XXXXVIII

At 5:59 p.m., a caller from Dog Bar at La Barr Meadows roads reported multiple rams were in the roadway. Deputies were unable to locate the rams.

[Were they lurking?]

At 12:18 p.m., a caller from the 500 block of East Broad Street reported a man attempted to hit his mother and was threatening suicide by cop. The mother was able to leave the residence and there were no hostages and one in harm's way. The man was advised via loudspeaker to call the police department if he needed any assistance. An officer determined there was no crime and took a miscellaneous incident report.

[It never works out this way on TV.]

At 1:52 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Church Street reported a mentally ill person walked away from the courthouse. The man had been in a locked facility in the past and he was supposed to appear in front of a Superior Court judge regarding a conservatorship, which is not a criminal matter. The man was on medication and had no weapons, though he had a history of violence.

[So why watch him, right? It wasn't like he was armed.]

At 1:58 p.m., a caller reported a dog was fetching a stick from a pond at Condon Park. An Animal Control officer was advised.

[There must be something missing from this picture.]

At 4:27 a.m., a caller from the 1000 block of Plaza Drive requested police check on a woman wearing a long white dress, heals, two gray shirts and a baseball cap. Police arrested the woman on suspicion of public drunkenness.

[And unspecified fashion crimes no doubt.]

At 2:11 p.m., a caller from West McKnight Way reported there was an elderly man behind a laundromat with his pants down. The man told police his pants had fallen down, and he pulled them back up. The man and his friend had both been drinking. Police told them not to drive.

[Nice that he left his pants down until the police arrived. Somehow this wasn't public drunkenness.]

At 11:14 a.m., a caller from the hospital on the 100 block of Glasson Way reported a 40-year-old man left the hospital with intravenous tubes still attached. He was walking down Main Street. Police contacted the man, who was walking back to the emergency room.

[He needed a pack of smokes.]

At 5:35 p.m., a caller from the 23000 block of Wayfarer Court reported a dog bit someone. Two Animal Control officers were paged. They did not answer their pages.

[The dog remains at large.]

At 5:38 p.m., a woman called from the 800 block of Forest Glade Circle to report a loud band was playing and her walls were vibrating. Police contacted the woman. Band practice was over.

[Sorry ma'am, there is nothing we can do, band practice is over.]

At 5:03 p.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Woodchuck Court reported a pit bull terrier was stolen within the last hour. Someone called back later to say everything was fine, and the dog was back home.

[Why do people assume a missing dog means dog theft? Was there some bad sitcom on lately with a tale of dognapping for ransom?]

At 8:43 p.m., the CHP advised the sheriff's office of possible domestic abuse with a firearm on "Miwok" in North San Juan. There was no such address. Sierra County deputies advised the address was in their jurisdiction, and they were on their way. Only one deputy was available from Sierra County and that deputy would be handling an aggravated assault in Alleghany. More than an hour later, it was determined both people involved in the domestic assault had been drinking. The woman also was on medication. She left the house for the evening.

[Glad to see we're all on top of the situation. The couple probably started drinking waiting for the deputy to arrive.]

At 8:25 a.m., a caller from the 21000 block of Pine Needle Lane reported trash was left on a private road and Waste Management Inc. would not pick it up because the neighbors don't have garbage service at their house.

[An informational bulletin? A lesson for all of us?]

At 4:45 p.m., a caller from a grocery store on Freeman Lane reported a car seat violation. A person was driving in a dark blue minivan with a baby on the lap. Police checked the area and were unable to locate the minivan.

[Which Hollywood star drives a blue minivan?]

At 1:49 a.m., a woman called from the 500 block of Jenkins Street to report her neighbors were walking up and down the stairs. Dispatchers advised the woman of the conditions of apartment living. A patrol officer was advised.

[Sorry lady. The walls are probably pretty thin as well. I know what it is like.]

At 12:13 a.m., a caller from the 100 block of Forest Glade reported that several juveniles were in his driveway vomiting and being loud.

[Memories....]

At 7:32 p.m., a caller from the 18000 block of Penny Court reported that a man claiming he was from PG&E had called her asking if he could change her light bulbs. PG&E advised the caller that the man was not their employee.

[Let's hear it for reasonable thought and not getting taken in by really lame scams!]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)