Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. L

At 2:51 p.m., a woman called from the 14000 block of Auburn Road to report her purse was stolen more than an hour ago. The woman had been drinking and was hardly able to answer any questions. The woman would call a deputy when she was sober.

[Yes, I am sure she did not just mislay the purse.]

At 3:43 p.m., a caller from a business on the 600 block of East Main Street reported receiving suspicious $20 bills dated from the 1950s.

[These crazy "Silver Certificates" aren't real money, are they? Some kid probably was out spending his dad's currency collection I bet.]

At 5:46 p.m., a caller from Elizabeth Daniels Park reported that a man in a dark jacket with a fur collar was repeatedly jumping into traffic and swearing at drivers before letting them pass.

[Fur is in this season?]

At 2:23 a.m., a caller from the 200 block of Mill Street reported that neighbors were having a loud party.

[And it was late... or early....]

At 8:27 p.m., a caller from Norlene Way reported that a portable latrine had fallen into the road and was causing a hazard.

[There has to be a joke in this somewhere.]

At 3:21 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of Hughes Road reported that a man has been threatening to come to a weekly meeting with a bomb and blow everyone up.

[Presumably this isn't The Rotary we're talking about.]

At 3:29 p.m., a caller from the intersection of Richardson and Main streets reported that four juveniles in a green SUV were shooting silly string at vehicles.

[Done that.]

At 6:14 p.m., a caller from a parking lot on the 700 block of Taylorville Road reported finding pry marks and a broken window on a horse trailer that had been left in the parking lot for one hour.

[Attempted animal theft? PETA at large?]

At 12:37 a.m., a caller from a bar on the 200 block of Mill Street reported that he had been poked in the eye by another person.

[I suspect alcohol came into play.]

At 9:33 a.m., a caller from the 12000 block of Squirrel Creek Road reported that a suspicious man walked into her house, asked for spray paint and left.

[And what was suspicious about the man?]

At 6:33 p.m., a caller from the 11000 block of Judas Ear Court reported hearing multiple shots fired in the area. He said more than 100 rounds had been fired in three hours. Patrol officers were advised.

[Aside from the prodigial firearms practice, I wonder what it is like to live on a street named for a fungus. And what is it like to be a fungus names after Judas Iscariot's ear.}

At 7:14 p.m., a caller from Martis Peak Road reported numerous shots were fired. Deputies were advised. Truckee police could not send anyone because of minimum staffing.

[Feels safe to live in Truckee I bet.]

At 12:24 p.m., a caller from Sutton Way and Brunswick Road reported a reckless driver who was parked in a commercial parking lot. The female driver appeared "very out of it." Police contacted the driver. She was not drunk, but she was advised to wear her prescription glasses. While at the parking lot, police contacted another 44-year-old woman and arrested her on a warrant and cited her on suspicion of resisting arrest.

[Somebody not wearing their glasses, plus a bonus citation!]

At 1:01 p.m., a woman in the police station lobby reported another woman made an obscene gesture toward her on Quartz Street, allegedly in violation of a court order. Police determined no crime was committed.

["The Finger" is not a crime I guess.]

At 6:40 p.m., a woman called from the 1000 block of Pampas Drive to report someone stole her Siamese cat, Twister. She said Twister is a female with a white mustache. The woman later reported Twister came back.

[Again, why do people think their missing animals are stolen?]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)