Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LVIII

At 3:54 p.m., a caller from southbound Highway 49 at Smith Road reported that someone in a green Toyota sedan threw a cigarette from the car window. Officers advised CHP.

[You can actually report that and not get laughed off the phone?]

At 9:44 p.m., a caller from the 14000 block of Golden Star Road reported that four people dressed in costumes were acting suspicious in a mobile park. Deputies went to the scene and found four kids playing.

[But they were playing in a suspicious manner.]

At 2:03 a.m., an officer stopped to talk with four people in their underwear at a gas station on South Auburn Street. The people had been four-wheeling and stopped to wash their vehicle and their clothes.

[Things that make sense after midnight.]

At 8:01 a.m., a caller from a business on Railroad Avenue reported a bat had been clinging to a wall since last night.

[And? Did they mean to dial up the Guinness Book and got the police by mistake?]

At 1:22 p.m., a caller from the 13000 block of Highway 174 reported a man had taken her dog, saying he wanted to play with it and now is demanding $300 to get the dog back.

[Somehow I don't think that is going to work out for him.]

At 1:19 p.m., a caller from the 500 block of Butler Street reported juveniles were shooting Airsoft guns and hit a man who just returned from the hospital. The caller later told police the neighbors apologized and a report was unnecessary.

[The man who returned from the hospital... was he just visiting or had he been there for some major health issue? How outraged should I be about those darned kids and their Airsoft guns?]

At 8:21 p.m., a woman from the 300 block of Sutton Way reported other tenants in her apartment building walk the hallways. They also open their door when the caller opens hers. Police advised the woman there was no criminal issue.

[A mental health issue however...]

At 11:02 p.m., a woman from a store on the 1000 block of Sutton Way reported she refused to sell alcohol to people and they insisted she had to. Police contacted the woman. The people demanding the alcohol left before police arrived.

[And so nobody got a drink.]

At 5:55 p.m., a caller from the 14000 block of Retrac Way reported a barn was burglarized and people attempted to steal a car. The vehicle had a bad transmission and the driver drove it a quarter of a mile. Deputies were on the lookout for men who may have been on the property. The caller was going to put new locks on the gates.

[I guess there was little point in locking that car.]

At 2:50 a.m., someone called 911 from the 16000 block of Lisa Lane, then hung up. Dispatchers called back and talked with a man who said it was his 18th birthday, but there were no emergencies at the residence. Deputies arrested a woman near the party on Retrac Way on suspicion of public drunkenness. Dispatchers confirmed the party had been broken up.

[How did the dispatchers know?]

At 6:42 a.m., a man from the 10000 block of Grinding Rock Drive reported his 46-year-old son was having mental health issues. He was off his medication and was hearing voices. His son said God told him to kill his entire family at a yard sale this weekend. The son said he was going to drop off a story at The Union newspaper. He was driving a red Toyota Corolla. Deputies were on the look-out for him.

[I'm sure the staff at The Union was happy to hear about that. And what about the yard sale?]

At 4:05 p.m., a caller from Highway 49 at Wolf Road reported a short, gray-haired man was darting into traffic and hitting himself in the head. A CHP officer responded.

[Darting into traffic.]

At 1:52 p.m., a woman called from the 100 block of East Colfax Avenue to report finding cut-up pictures of her and her friends posted on Internet porn sites. Police would follow up.

[This is one of those "why do you write such horrible things about me in your diary" affairs. How did they find out? Who was surfing porn sites and noticed?]

At 4:15 p.m., a caller from Butler Street at Minnie Street reported a man refused to get off a bus. Police provided the man a ride to Shady Creek Drive.

[Nice to know that is an option with public transit.]

At 6:52 a.m., a caller from the 200 block of Barby Drive reported someone stole musical instruments - horns - from an unlocked 1999 Toyota Tacoma. Police took a report for grand theft.

[Again, lock your car doors, the thieves still need strings and woodwinds.]

At 8:16 a.m., a caller from the 800 block of Doris Drive reported someone went through two unlocked vehicles and took proof of insurance.

[More car door locking, please!]

At 10:17 a.m., a caller from the 100 block of Richardson Street reported being locked out of a black Dodge with an 18-month-old child trapped inside. Police helped the caller get into the vehicle.

[Okay, too much car door locking.]

At 6:48 a.m., a deputy was flagged down by a citizen on Highway 49. The person reported the driver of a beer truck on his way to North San Juan was slumped over his steering wheel. Deputies contacted the driver who had pulled over to take a nap.

[Sleeping beer truck driver. That sounds like an opportunity.]

At 12:22 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Cypress Hill Drive reported that an iPod had been stolen from a locked car that had been parked in front of the caller's house.

[Fine... just stop leaving valuables in the car.]

At 1:08 p.m., a caller from a business on the 1000 block of Whispering Pines Lane reported that two people had purchased materials that could explode when combined.

[And did they give any indication that they planned to combine the two materials, like giggling or referring to the US as "The Great Satan?"]

At 5:56 p.m., a caller from a store on the 100 block of McKnight Way reported that a man was hitting himself and items in the store. Officers made contact with the man, who was removed from the store and asked not to return.

[People hitting themselves is getting to be as common as jumping/darting/running in and out of traffic.]

At 10:45 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of West Berryhill Drive reported that some neighbors were having a physical dispute. Officers made contact with the residents, who said that they had been dancing, which might have been confused for fighting. Officers made contact with other residents, who said they did not hear any fighting.

[Krumping comes to Nevada County? Or was it just a vicious polka?]

At 10:51 p.m., a caller from the intersection of Hansen Lane and Bank Street reported finding a traffic hazard in the middle of the street. When the caller tried to remove it, a man attempted to assault him, and when the caller tried to leave, the man held on to his car.

[I assume the caller meant a traffic hazard warning, like one of those barricades. And, you have to admit, there was a hazard there.]

At 6:41 p.m., a caller reported a man carrying a sleeping bag on the 200 block of East Main Street was beating himself up, slapping himself and throwing himself on a rail. Police checked the area extensively and were unable to locate the man.

[As long as it wasn't the third rail.]

At 9:28 p.m., a caller from Cherry Lane at Clark Street reported a man was hitting another man with a bat. Police arrested a 53-year-old man on suspicion of public drunkenness.

[Public drunkenness seems to be the lesser issue here.]

At 9:13 a.m., a caller from the 100 block of Neal Street reported a man implicated in a 2003 murder at Edward's Crossing was fraternizing with underage females at a shopping center on the 100 block of Neal Street.

[That is some pretty direct knowledge of the guy fraternizing.]

At 11:27 a.m., a woman called from the 10000 block of Conifer Lane to report her neighbors were playing loud music. She sent her son to ask the neighbors to turn the music down, then the neighbors pointed potato guns at the caller and her children. Deputies contacted everyone involved and determined there was no crime.

[Tempers flare, the potato guns come out....]

At 4:07 a.m., a caller from the 15000 block of Stagecoach Way reported a man took mushrooms, and he was allergic to them. The emergency response was canceled. No arrests were made and no death was reported.

[We're not sure how this worked out.]

At 3:22 p.m., a caller reported a man reading a book behind a restaurant on the 200 block of York Street had his hands inside his pants while others walked by. Police were unable to locate the man.

[The correct response in this situation, is to ask, "What are you trying to pull?"]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)