Monday, July 09, 2007

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LVIX

At 6:04 p.m., a caller from Memorial Park reported that 3 kids were riding scooters over memorials. Police told the kids not to return.

[Kids these days have no respect.]

At 7:52 a.m., a caller from Sutton Way requested that all vehicles in their parking lot be towed as soon as possible because they were applying asphalt this morning. Police contacted all of the owners, and the vehicles were moved.

[The lot owner probably knew about the paving months in advance. Nice that he was willing to make other people pay the price for his laziness.]

At 6:35 a.m., a caller from West Brookview Drive reported a man wearing a gray bandana on his head and brown clothing, walking up the street and carrying what appeared to be computer parts under his sweatshirt.

[Smuggling computer parts through Nevada County.]

At 8:41 a.m., a caller from East Bennett Road reported a group of transient campers who made a camp directly across the street from a camp they had been kicked out of last week. The caller said these were the same campers. The campers moved to a third camp 200 yards away.

[I have to guess that "200 yards" is the exact distance of some fine legal distinction.]

At 5:30 p.m., a caller from Elizabeth Daniels Park reported a group was getting ready to have a water fight. The caller locked the bathrooms. Police checked the area and found three people sitting on a bench. They were unable to locate the group the caller spoke of.

[Oh no! A water fight might break out in the middle of the summer in a public park! Call the cops!]

At 10:16 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of South School Street reported that a group of juveniles driving down Neal Street in a red jeep were throwing baggies filled with flour at people.

[Baggies with flour? Now there is a heck of a crime spree.]

At 11:04 p.m., a caller from the 600 block of Brighton Street reported that someone threw a baggie full of a white substance on her car.

[The red jeep juvies strike againg.]

At 7:06 a.m., a caller from the 17000 block of Virginia Way reported that a loose bull was destroying the lawn of her new property.

[Did somebody open a Schlitz Malt Liquor? Is anybody else old enough to know what I am referring to?]

At 1:20 p.m., a vehicle on the 100 block of Neal Street backed into a police patrol car. Police took a report.

[That has to be awkward.]

At 2:06 p.m., a caller from the 12000 block of Pasquale Road reported a woman was in a front yard screaming at her boyfriend. It was an ongoing problem. The caller was seeking a temporary restraining order.

[Wow, you can get a restraining order against annoying strangers, even if they are only indirectly annoying you?]

At 12:53 a.m., a woman from the 700 block of Lindley Avenue reported her roommates have been banging on her door and not letting her sleep.

[Can you get a temporary restraining order for that as well?]

At 11:43 a.m., a caller from the Litton Trail near Hughes Road reported seeing a mountain lion chasing a coyote.

[It is called nature. It is operating as designed.]

At 6:20 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Cypress Hill reported that a woman with long hair and bad teeth wearing a blue polo shirt imprinted with a vacuum logo was soliciting in the area. Officers were unable to locate the woman.

[Was she selling vacuum cleaners, or was the logo an indication that she was soliciting a different form of suction?]

At 9:27 a.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Wellswood Way reported his son got a bloody nose in a fight with another person who started it because the son had stolen a bong from him.

[Could you seriously get on the phone to the police to complain that another kid stole your son's bong?]

At 12:15 a.m., a caller from the 11000 block of Lakeshore North reported the theft of two bicycles and two golf clubs.

[I suspect an ad hoc game of bicycle street polo in progress.]

At 1:07 p.m., a caller from the 1000 block of East Main Street said three different cars had pulled into the drive-through of a fast-food restaurant and handed money through the window but did not receive any food. The people in the cars then parked in the restaurant's parking lot and began flashing money at each other.

[Is this some new trend in stupidity?]

Source: The Union (

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