Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. LXIII

At 3:05 p.m., a caller from Chapel Street at Brighton Street reported a man with long blond hair and wearing a T-shirt with "weed" on the front appeared to be smoking something out of a pipe.

[I wonder what he could be smoking.]

At 4:42 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of Stewart Street reported small women in skinny black pants were yelling and screaming.

[Were her pants too tight? It says the pants are skinny, not the woman.]

At 1:23 a.m., a caller from the 300 block of Bennett Street reported a partially clothed man was running through the woods. Police were unable to locate the man.

[I am going to go with "shirtless" on this one.]

At 12:51 a.m., a caller from the 200 block of Dorsey Drive reported a person was throwing orange cones from a gray van in a parking lot. An officer was advised.

[At nearly 1am, somebody has had one of those, "wouldn't this be great/hilarious" ideas.]

At 1:58 a.m., police located six cones blocking Catherine Lane. Police checked the area and found a total of 12 cones. They returned the cones to Hughes Road.

[The gray van strikes! Orange cones are everywhere!]

At 11:47 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Main Street reported a man without a shirt just broke a window at an office and he was covered in blood. Officers cited the man on suspicion of vandalism and an ambulance took the man to the emergency room.

[Shirtless man on a rampage.]

At 1:29 p.m., a caller from the 2000 block of Brunswick Road reported a dog locked in a white Corolla was trying to jump out of the vehicle and appeared to be in distress. Police faxed the information to Animal Control. They were unable to reach the agency by telephone.

[They took the phone off the hook while Oprah was on.]

At 6:47 a.m., a caller from a campground in the Chicago Park area reported a man was behaving indecently on a public beach. He was carrying an orange swimsuit.

[Presumably he should have been wearing the swimsuit.]

At 6:58 a.m., a caller from Packard Drive reported smelling smoke. Grass Valley firefighters responded. Other than a cooking odor, nothing was found.

[Again, does this annoy firefighters, or are they happy enough just to get out of the firehouse and let the siren wail?]

At 11:48 p.m., a caller from a campsite on Englebright Lake reported seeing a mountain lion in the area. A deputy investigated and discovered that the animal was not a mountain lion but a deer.

[Well, it was dark and all.]

At 3:15 a.m., a caller from the 31000 block of Relief Hill Road reported that her brother, who she alleged had been drinking, had been arguing with neighbors and shooting at them with a rifle before retreating to his trailer, but that no one had been hurt. Deputies responded and seized the firearm.

[That seems to be a little less than a slap on the wrist.]

At 1:08 a.m., July 21, GVFD responded to a possible commercial structure fire on West Main Street. At the scene, firefighters reported nothing showing and used a thermal imaging camera from the building's exterior to investigate. After searching with no sign of heat or fire, firefighters determined it was a false alarm and helped the owner reset the alarm system.

[Thermal imaging camera! I want one!]

At 7:43 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of Mill Street reported that a German shepherd attacked her and her dog while she was going by a business. There were no injuries to her or the dog. The German shepherd was on a leash but no one was holding it. No charges were filed.

[I think somebody has to be holding the leash.]

At 4:47 p.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Alpine Lane requesting advice for what she should do when her neighbor is being mean to her.

[Being mean!]

At 7:56 p.m., a caller from the 12000 block of Lime Kiln Road thought their home had been burglarized. The house was in shambles but the only thing missing was a bong.

[Was he wearing a shirt with "weed" on the front?]

At 11:06 a.m., a caller from the 400 block of Maryland Drive reported hearing women screaming. Police contacted two women with the same last name who were having "sister drama."

[Is that like "Gilmore Girls?"]

At 8:13 p.m., a caller from a business on the 100 block of Neal Street reported a man wearing a fisherman's cap was hitting himself and trying to get into a child's car seat. Police contacted the man and did not make an arrest.

[Just another day in Nevada county.]

At 12:05 p.m., a caller from the 800 block of Old Tunnel Road reported a man tried to stop his own rolling car and he may have been run over. Police determined the man was hit by the car, but he was not run over. Police took a report.

[A fine distinction to the man in question I would guess.]

At 3:41 p.m., a woman called 911 from the 11000 block of Alpine Lane to talk to a deputy about her previous citation for misuse of 911. Deputies arrested the 53-year-old woman on suspicion of calling 911 with the intent to annoy or harass dispatchers.

[Hah! Some people just do not get it.]

At 12:47 a.m., a caller from Brewer Road at Lodestar Drive reported someone spray-painted "white power" in the roadway and surrounded it with orange construction cones.

[Well, I guess that was... considerate of him. Nobody would accidently get paint on their car.]

At 8:06 a.m., a caller from Brewer Road at Lodestar Drive reported a swastika was painted in the intersection with "white power" written under it.

[I guess he wasn't done yet.]

At 9:48 p.m., a caller from the 300 block of Clark Street reported a dog had been barking since the sun went down. Police responded and the owners were not around. The caller was advised to call Animal Control during business hours.

[Small comfort for those going sleepless.]

At 11:03 a.m., firefighters responded to Todd Court, where a man was trying to get toilet paper out of a tree by starting it on fire.

[Not the recommended method, especially during the fire season.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)