Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XXXIX

At 12:18 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of West McKnight Way reported a man was sitting in a brown Cadillac and drinking beer. Police contacted the man. He had not been driving under the influence of alcohol and he was not drunk. No arrest was made.

[Isn't that still an open container violation if you're in the car and have the keys? Maybe he did not have the keys on him.]

At 6:48 p.m., a caller reported a person posted a suicidal statement on the Web site MySpace. The person lived on the 10 block of Primrose Lane. Police contacted a 29-year-old man and he was transported to the hospital for a mental health evaluation. Police took a report.

[MySpace patrol strikes again!]

At 7:35 p.m., a man called from the 11000 block of Squirrel Creek Drive to report a pizza delivery driver did not have change with him so he offered his son "weed" instead. The man called Grass Valley Police to report the incident and when he was told to call the sheriff's office because his home is in the sheriff's jurisdiction, he refused.

[Jurisdictional dispute allows ongoing crime spree! And what else can you get with your pizza delivery in Nevada County?]

At 9:23 a.m., a caller from the 20000 block of Tiger Tail Road reported a man called claiming to be from the California Peace Officers Association, soliciting $1,000 for the group. The caller refused to give money and did not give any personal information.

[Do you really want to call the police to complain about the Peace Officers Association, assuming that the call might be legit?]

At 12:47 p.m., a caller from the 19000 block of Larson Road reported his satellite dish was vandalized. Deputies determined it was a dispute between neighbors.

[And does that somehow keep it from being vandalism?]

At 11:04 a.m., a caller reported a man on the Broad Street overpass was talking to himself, flailing his arms and leaning over the railing. Police checked the area and did not find the man on the bridge. A man fitting the description was in a park and appeared OK.

[So the caller either over reacted or the police spoke to the wrong guy.]

At 6:52 p.m., a man called from Colfax Avenue to report a man in his early 20s wearing all black was running down the road holding something wadded up and on fire. When the man was confronted he said "You don't know my name," and kept running. The caller said he did not see any fire in the area. Police checked the area extensively, but they were unable to locate the man in black.

[Isn't that a sign of the times, our inability to locate the man in black? And wasn't that "you don't know my name" the punchline to a joke about turning in a test late?]

At 2:58 p.m., a caller from the 10000 block of Skyview Drive reported tenants at a property were yelling and threatening to beat up the caller. Deputies contacted both parties and advised everyone to stop yelling.

[Continue threatening each other in a more reasonable tone please.]

At 7:18 p.m., a caller reported a blonde woman carrying a bag was staggering in and out of traffic on Highway 49 at North Bloomfield Road. Deputies were unable to locate the woman.

[Jumping in and out of traffic appears to be on its way out, with staggering a new contender in the field.]

At 10:06 a.m., a burglary alarm sounded at a home on the 11000 block of Alta Sierra Drive. A deputy arrived to find the residence vacant, but food scraps were located. The owners were an hour away. The deputy re-secured the door.

[So how did the food scraps figure into this? Did a bear break in?]

A 5:24 p.m. caller from the 11200 block of Butler Road said her husband had a firearm and was trying to kill her. Deputies took the case under investigation.

[A rather relaxed response to this sort of situation I think.]

At 9:53 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of Willow Valley Road reported that someone came to their home, kicked in the doors, made threats and left. The caller required a log entry only.

[A rather relaxed response to this sort of situation I think...hrmmm....]

At 6:06 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of West Berryhill Drive reported an adult daughter was missing and the caller thought the woman may be with a man she met on MySpace.

[MySpace, the curse of our day and age!]

At 8:23 p.m., a caller from the 12000 block of Somerset Drive reported a loud explosion in the area. The fire department was burning a vehicle for training.

[You know with the fire department being mostly men, they're out there "training" and going "Heh, now watch when I throw this on the fire!"]

At 2:06 p.m., a caller from the 300 block of Commercial Street reported a man with gray hair exposed himself to a clerk, then went to a cash register to make a purchase. Police contacted man and determined there was no indecent exposure.

[Who says there are no standards for public decency!]

At 10:03 a.m., a caller reported a man with long blond hair was stumbling at Highway 49 at Coyote Street. Police arrested the man.

[One assumes that public drunkenness was involved, but perhaps the police were trying to quell a "stumbling in and out of traffic" fad.]

At 12:32 p.m., a caller reported two small children in an apartment complex on the 100 block of West Berryhill Drive advised they could not wake their father up. Police contacted the father, who had fallen asleep during family nap time.

[Family nap time. Now there is something I dream of on many a Sunday afternoon.]

At 12:50 p.m., a caller from a drug store on Sutton Way reported a man was yelling into a cell phone. The caller said the man needed to shave.

[And his breath was none too fresh either!]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)