Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XXXX

At 5:08 p.m., a caller from a business on the 300 block of Crown Point Circle reported a man was making threats he was going to shoot his care provider because she allegedly struck him over the head with a frying pan. Police contacted the man who was making threats and determined there was no assault. Police contacted a 23-year-old man and cited him for possession of a controlled substance and possession of less than an ounce of marijuana.

[A frying pan! Was this in a cartoon? And I like the extra bust tagged onto the end.]

At 12:15 p.m., a woman called from the 12000 block of Honey Mushroom Lane to report a man just shot a firearm into her property from the fence line near the street. The man got into his gray Chevrolet Tahoe, then drove away. Deputies contacted the woman and located the man just south of the woman's property. Deputies searched the vehicle and determined the woman's report was unfounded.

[Unfounded! What did happen then? Did he point his finger and yell "bang?"]

At 1:03 p.m., a caller from the 22000 block of Jennifer Drive reported a stolen 9 mm Smith and Wesson handgun, possibly taken by a worker during a remodel. When deputies checked for the gun in the Automatic Firearms System, they located it at the Lincoln Police Department evidence room. The gun was taken into evidence by Lincoln police on July 4, 2006. Deputies took a report.

[I bet there are going to be some follow up questions on this one.]

At 2:17 p.m., a woman called from the 12000 block of Loma Rica Drive to report a hole in her window made by a bullet 20 minutes ago. Deputies contacted people involved and determined the shot was an accidental discharge. No crime was committed.

[No harm, no foul? Accidental discharge though, I have some spam email that says it can cure that.]

At 5:40 p.m., someone called 911 from the 20000 block of You Bet Road. A woman was heard in the background screaming. A man said the woman hit him in the face and he was bleeding. The woman left the residence.

[I just like the name of the street. Did you get hit? You Bet!]

At 8:21 p.m., a man called from the 13000 block of Brooks Road to report a woman punched him in the face.

[There seems to be an outbreak.]

At 6:51 p.m., a caller from South Auburn Street across from a car dealership reported juveniles were putting a fake body in the roadway. Police contacted the juveniles and advised them not to put things in the roadway.

[I remember doing things like this. Were they filming it?]

At 12:39 a.m., a caller from the 300 block of Broad Street reported a person was passed out on a dance floor. Police escorted the person outside.

[Passed out on the dance floor. I hope the music was done. One misstep by a woman in heels would really make him regret his position.]

At 5:53 p.m., a woman called from the 100 block of Ophir Street to report she needed someone removed from her house who was drunk and being abusive. Police made contact and the drunk woman left for the night.

[Drunk and abusive and it wasn't even six o'clock yet.]

At 6:15 p.m., a woman called from the 100 block of Ophir Street to report a drunk woman returned to her apartment requesting her wallet. Police made contact.

[She's back!]

At 6:19 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of Ophir Street advised that a woman would not return a wallet. Police made contact, the wallet was returned and the caller was advised of the proper use of 911.

[And the third try. I like ongoing stories.]

At 7 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Neal Street reported a drunk woman was hitting her manager and left on foot headed toward a bar. She was wearing a blue or gray sweatshirt, looking "manly." A second caller reported a man was hiding in bushes on the 300 block of West Main Street. Police contacted the 43-year-old woman - the same woman from the calls on Ophir Street - and arrested her on suspicion of public drunkenness and possession of heroin.

[Holy cow, this woman gets around!]

At 11:41 a.m., a caller from the 11000 block of Farm Court reported a neighbor stole dirt. Police mediated the situation. There was no theft.

[You dirt stealin' so-and-so!]

At 8:55 a.m., a caller from the 17000 block of Indian Springs Road reported overhearing a verbal argument. A second caller reported hearing a single gunshot in the area. An additional caller reported hearing slaps and a verbal fight. Another caller reported a man and a woman ran to the back of the property when deputies arrived. Deputies were unable to locate a victim and took an informational report.

[A report which read like some sort of bad mystery novel. Didn't Snoopy write this in one comic?]

At 3:03 p.m., a caller from a bank on the 10000 block of Alta Sierra Drive reported a man came into the bank a few months ago to close his account. The man had the same name as another customer who had more money in his account. The bank made a mistake and closed the other person's account and the man took the money. The caller had been trying to get the man to return the money. The man has been cooperative and has said he would return the money, but he has not. An officer contacted the bank manager and left a message for the man to contact the bank.

[Oh, that has got to make the bank look bad. "Oh, sorry, we gave your money to a guy with the same name."]

At 8 a.m., a woman from the 17000 block of Apache Court called to report that her ex-husband had called the night before and stated if she ever called him again he would "personally find someone to take care of it."

[I suppose he could have meant a lawyer. Still, maybe she should give it a rest.]

At 2:12 p.m. a caller from the 19000 block of West Ridge Drive reported that a person had bought a product from them and after receiving it, canceled the credit card it was purchased with.

[I am pretty sure that the credit card company will still bill the guy if the card was ever legit.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)