Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XXXV

At 2:38 p.m., a caller reported a man in his 50s was staggering on Highway 49 at Brewer Road. The man missed the bus.

[Was it Hitler? Okay, about 2 people will get that reference if I am lucky. So here is a link to the Neville Chamberlain Wikipedia entry that contains the Hitler/Bus reference.]

At 4:18 p.m., a caller from Pasquale Road reported a dirty man wearing a flannel was jumping in and out of traffic yelling obscenities. He also had a dog on a long rope. The CHP responded.

[Again with the traffic. I guess the attire and the dog separates him from the pack, but still, we're going to get to a point where this is declared "normal behavior" and it will no longer appear on the blotter.]

At 8:15 p.m., a caller reported a man and woman were yelling and screaming at an intersection on Highway 174. When the caller asked if they were OK, they kept screaming.

[They kept screaming.]

At 10:01 a.m., a bank employee on Sutton Way reported a customer had threatened, "You better not follow me out to the parking lot." Police were to follow up.

[Was the bank employee intending to follow the customer, or was this some sort of coy come-on by the customer?]

At 6:06 p.m., a caller reported a car parked in front of a business on Freeman Lane in which one of the passengers was wearing women's undergarments. Police could not find the vehicle

[And was, presumably, not a woman...]

At 8:48 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of Conoway Avenue reported the theft of a 4-foot gumdrop man and 6-foot snowman, and asked for extra patrols.

[4-Foot Gumdrop Man Stolen! There is the headline I want to see.]

At 8:09 a.m., a caller from the 500 block of Jenkins Drive reported a violation of court-ordered child visitation. When police contacted the parties, a man said he did not have his son for a full four hours.

[This would be a Monty Python skit (that was never four hours) if it did not involve a child.]

At 9:12 p.m., a woman called from the 16000 block of Brewer Road to report her fiance just punched his future sister-in-law in the face. The man went to the next-door neighbor's house and could be heard screaming outside. He was extremely intoxicated. Another caller said three people were strangling each other. Deputies determined the fighting was mutual combat. No one wanted to press charges.

[Now here is a woman who should be thinking hard on her wedding plans and her choice in in-laws.]

At 2:54 a.m., a woman called from the 10000 block of Little Deer Drive to report her ex-husband was causing a verbal fight with the family. She was yelling back at him and a child was hitting him. The man peeled out of the driveway in his rental car. An officer found the vehicle buried in the mud at the end of Pekolee Drive. The man was not there.

[Just too strange. The vehicle buried in the mud was a nice touch.]

At 12:05 p.m., a caller from the 15000 block of Lakewood Lane reported two sisters were arguing over Christmas gifts. The situation was mediated.

[This entry really needs the approximate age of the sisters in question. "In their 80's" would be a lot more amusing than "juveniles."]

At 7:09 p.m., the California Highway Patrol reported a woman came out of the woods screaming at Newtown Road and Bitney Springs Road. The woman was screaming at cars, then turned around and slid down the hill, seemingly intentionally. A man was on the side of the road attempting to console the woman, who was screaming for help and was hysterical. The woman then fell on the ground and fell over the embankment. She said "He heard me, he's going to come and get me and hurt me again." Deputies made contact with the woman at a nearby residence. She had been drinking, but she was not hurt.

[More screaming. More inexplicable behavior.]

At 8:16 p.m., a woman from the 19000 block of Maywood Place reported her 22-year-old daughter stole her father's Oxycontin. The caller also found a spoon and a hypodermic needle. The father was heard in the background causing a verbal fight with the daughter. The daughter pulled the phone out of the wall and was outside. No arrest was made,

[But... she damaged telephone equipment! I thought that was the one thing sure to get you arrested in Grass Valley.]

At 1:41 p.m., a caller from the parking lot of a department store on the 100 block of West McKnight Way reported a man was masturbating in a white double cab flatbed Chevrolet truck. The man was reportedly trying to make the masturbation obvious. He reportedly made eye contact with the caller, then flung bodily fluid out of the window at the caller. Police were unable to re-contact the caller for follow-up, despite several attempts.

[Eeeew]

At 2:34 p.m., a large hole allegedly caused by bikers was filling with water in an abandoned field off of Harris Street at Eureka Street. The hole seemed to be getting larger.

[And what did the caller think the police were going to do about this hole?]

At 3:21 p.m., a caller from South Church Street at Richardson Street reported a noninjury accident. A Toyota was on top of a tilting fire hydrant.

[Included because I am sure we can all visualize the scene.]

At 11:44 a.m., a caller from Highway 49 between the Dorsey Drive overpass and East Main Street reported a woman was sitting on the center divide between the two lanes of the highway, looking like she was going to jump into traffic. Police were unable to locate the woman.

[But did she jump? Not jumping would seem to be the more unlikely event.]

At 8:22 p.m., a caller from a drugstore on the 10000 block of Combie Road reported a 45-year-old man with scraggly hair was shoplifting. He had been taking batteries and was in the juice aisle. Store employees told deputies that the items were paid for and the accusations of shoplifting were unfounded. Deputies arrested a 37-year-old woman on suspicion of possession of narcotics and possession of a controlled substance without a prescription.

[Now, was the woman arrested the original caller or was this just an opportunistic arrest so that the trip out to the drugstore wasn't a complete waste of time?]

At 2:38 p.m., a woman called from Rock Creek Road to report hearing loud gun fire. She believed it was a cannon. A deputy checked the area and was unable to locate the source of any gunfire.

[No cannon!]

At 4:14 p.m., a caller from the 19000 block of B-4 Ranch Road reported a neighbor was shooting firearms and what sounded like bombs, as well. Deputies determined there was shooting at the bottom of the property, but no bombs.

[No bombs!]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)