Monday, August 14, 2006

Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. IX

At 4:52 p.m., a caller from the 1000 block of East Main Street reported a juvenile throwing rocks at passing cars. The juvenile was admonished.

[Son of Battery Man! (featured in GVPB vol. VIII) And a weak double entendre!]

At 5:44 p.m., a woman called from the 400 block of Neal Street to report a person crawled under her residence, which was a suspicious circumstance. Police made contact with the man, who lives on the premises and was searching for artifacts.

[Do people just not communicate any more? Is a simple, "Hey, I'll be under the house" too much to ask? And what artifacts was our would-be Dr. Jones seeking?]

At 7:41 p.m., a caller from East Main Street reported a woman was passed out on the sidewalk

[That is what we like to see on Main Street, people who got in early for happy hour!]

At 10 p.m., a woman called from Packard Drive to report she saw a person holding another person at gunpoint. The victim had his hands in the air. Police made contact with a group of kids who were playing with an air soft gun.

[Do kids still play cops and robbers? Or cowboys and Indians? Or have these games been updated for the new demographic of a new century? Cops and terrorists? Pakistanis and Indians?]

At 11:28 a.m., a caller from the 200 block of Colfax Avenue reported a transient person was throwing rocks at a juvenile boy.

[If only the transient would turn out to be the battery carrying rock thrower we could close the loop on this.]

At 3:51 a.m., a caller from the 11000 block of McCourtney Road reported two groups of men were fighting in a parking lot at the fairgrounds. They appeared to have been drinking. Deputies made contact with the men, and no one wanted to press charges. They said they would go to sleep.

[4am on Sunday morning and two groups of men are fighting in the parking lot at the fairgrounds and they think ALCOHOL MIGHT BE INVOLVED?! The deputies tucked the men in and everything was OK.]

At 3:35 p.m., a man called from the 600 block of Freeman Lane to report a woman driver attempted to run him over. The woman called to report that the man pulled in front of her on purpose. Police mediated the situation.

[Is this the same couple from vol. VII or is it just a new fad?]

At 11:47 a.m., a male from the 17000 block of Minnow Way called to report receiving a message on from a person calling himself "Adam" that stated he knew where the caller shops and gets gas. "Adam" asked the caller to get together and called him sexual names. A deputy advised the man the incident does not meet criminal requirements for stalking but told him to call back if any more contact was made.

[Again the internet leads to confusion.]

At 5:42 a.m., a caller from McCourtney Road reported seeing a man wearing camouflage, carrying a backpack, with a rifle slung over his back. Deputies made contact and discovered the weapon to be a pellet gun and that the man had been en route to his girlfriend's house.

[This just raises more questions than it answers.]

At 12:40 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of Stacey Lane reported the theft of a rototiller and a mattress. Police filed a report for grand theft.

[An award for most awkward items stolen. And a mattress? Just try getting rid of a mattress and see how well you do. I have one this guy can come over and steal, it would help me out greatly.]

At 6:30 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of King Court reported that a person within the same residence was yelling at fair traffic on the block. The caller had also overheard that the same person had thrown a lawn mower at a passing vehicle.

[He threw a lawn mower at a passing vehicle!? I think we might have our rototiller thief.]

At 9:21 p.m., a woman called from a fast food restaurant on the 1000 block of East Main to report her boss requested she call the police regarding the theft of a picture by three young men. It was a picture of "Jack with a donkey." Police took a report and alerted allied agencies to stop and interview the men if they were seen.

[I really like this entry. First, we are putting out an all points bulletin on the stolen picture. This isn't exactly Edvard Munch's "The Scream" that has gone missing here, this is a mass produced picture of a character from an ad campaign posing with a donkey. The criminal masterminds behind this were possibly not even drunk when they pulled off this caper. Second, what defines an "allied agency?" Are there opposing agencies in Nevada County? Are there Switzerland-like neutral agencies? Finally, this is just a great moment in managerial delegation. How often have I, as a manager, longed to say, "Go call the police and tell them three kids just walked off with our picture of 'Jack with a donkey.'"

Source: The Union (

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