Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. XII

At 12:39 p.m., a caller from North Church Street at Main Street reported a pedestrian walked into a stopped vehicle. The 66-year-old pedestrian was cited at the hospital for being drunk in public.

[Insult/Injury Ratio: High]

At 12:15 p.m., a caller from Coyote Street reported a man had been drinking and was smoking "weird chemical cigarettes." The man was yelling and scaring people. An officer handled the situation.

[I want to know more about "weird chemical cigarettes." It isn't like regular cigarettes have things we might find weird in them.]

At 2:57 p.m. caller from the 10300 block of Pleasant Valley Road reported a bullet hole in their dining room window. Officers discerned it was not a bullet hole and possibly caused by a rock

[The rock throwing season has not abated.]

At 7:46 p.m. caller from Broken Oak Court reported juveniles were hiding behind a fence and throwing objects at vehicles and people going by on Penn Valley Drive.

[I would bet that the objects were rocks. Rocks or lawn mowers.]

At 9:36 p.m. caller from the 15900 block of Orchard Springs Road reported someone untied her boat and it was floating in Rollins Reservoir.

[Given past history, I would guess alcohol impaired knot tying is probably to blame.]

At 5:28 p.m. caller from the 900 block of West main reported someone was tampering with her vehicle as the battery was dead and the oil was missing.

[I have known people who have driven cars without maintenance until the above was the case, no tampering required.]

At 2:03 p.m., a man called from McKnight Way saying another man had offered him a $2,500 sound system for $300, and the man was following him to a bank. Police arrived and arrested the purported salesman on an outstanding warrant.

[I wonder how the purported salesman missed this phone call during the transaction.]

At 9:19 p.m., a caller from South Church Street reported a "tough-guy looking" man was pounding on an automatic teller machine.

[What style of "Tough-Guy?" George Raft? Vin Diesel? Al Pacino?]

At 12:16 a.m., police contacted a woman on the 200 block of Washington Street who was yelling because she couldn't find her cellular telephone. She agreed to keep her voice down.

[She appears to have been trying to talk to the person she wanted to call directly, without the phone.]

At 12:28 p.m., a woman called from the 400 block of Butler Street to report a semi was running and threatening her quiet morning in the garden.

[Threatening morning quiet is no doubt a serious crime, but it was afternoon already, so the hands of the police were tied.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)