Grass Valley Police Blotter vol. V

At 2:56 a.m., a man in the police station lobby said a woman pulled a small handgun on him and threatened him. The man was unsure of where it happened and he wasn't sure it was actually a gun.

[He did seem certain that it was a woman, but later admitted he could have gotten that wrong as well.]

At 4:41 p.m., a woman called from the 15000 block of Norvin Way to report her husband had been drinking and had been trying to push a vehicle into the creek. Deputies arrested a 69-year-old man for battery of a spouse or cohabitant and vandalism.

[I have to assume that it was not his own vehicle. More neighbor issues? Still, it is nice to see older people getting out and doing things.]

At 8:06 p.m., a caller from the 200 block of Sutton Way reported a man with no shirt hit a woman in the mouth. When the caller offered to call the police, the woman declined help. Police arrived and were unable to locate the suspect.

[So all we know is that there is another shirtless guy on the loose.]

At 9:18 p.m., a 911 caller from the 200 block of Mill Street advised a man was yelling "fire" and smoke was possibly coming from a business. Police and the fire department made contact, and there was no fire. The man had been yelling "liar" to a woman.

[No word if he was a fan of Henry Rollins or not.]

At 10:29 p.m., a caller from an apartment complex on the 300 block of Sutton Way reported a fight. A woman with a sword was reportedly involved. Approximately 20 people were going in and out of the apartment. Police made contact and took a report.

[Okay, a lot of people going in and out... still, you should be able to spot the woman with the sword. I am going to pass on allusions to fictional and/or historical sword wielding women, but feel free to jump in yourself.]

At 3:55 a.m., a woman called to report she could hear a woman screaming in a park on Bank Street. Police arrested a 36-year-old woman for being drunk in public

[I think the real case for legalizing marijuana is that stoned people do not scream so damn much.]

At 11:14 p.m., a woman called from the 21000 block of Margaritaville Way to report she had a fire. The fire department handled the call.

[Flaming away in Margaritaville? Does Jimmy Buffet know about this street? I am pretty sure he will want some royalties.]

At 10 p.m., a caller reported a man riding a horse northbound on Ridge Road was creating a road hazard.

[I've read a couple of sites with "crazy" horse laws that always include one requiring a horse to wear a red light on its tail after dark, which doesn't seem so crazy on modern streets.]

At 1:08 a.m., someone called 911 twice from the 600 block of South Auburn Street and hung up. There was crying and screaming in the background. Police responded and arrested a 25-year-old man for damaging a telephone line.

[As my phone gently weeps? This is the second time in the last month I have read about somebody being arrested for damaging a telephone line. Is this an actual crime in and of itself? If only there were some easy way to look up this sort of information....]

At 12:57 a.m., a caller from a campground on the 19000 block of Larsen Road reported a campers were fighting, yelling and screaming. Deputies arrested a man for aggravated assault and a warrant and cited a woman for a Placer County warrant.

[If I were to hazard a guess, I would bet that alcohol played a role in this. But when you're busting some guy for aggravated assault, I guess you can leave off the "drunk in public" descriptor. On the other hand, I do not understand the woman being "cited" for an outstanding warrant. If you have a warrant out for your arrest, which is the only warrant *I* know of, don't they just arrest you when they find out you have such a warrant against you? How does giving somebody a ticket for having an outstanding warrant accomplish anything? And doesn't that imply that having a warrant against you is a criminal infraction of its own?]

At 1:59 a.m., a man called from the 20000 block of Tiger Tail Road to report a fight between him and his girlfriend. He said she slapped him and broke a window, and was outside the residence throwing things. Deputies arrested the 31-year-old woman for being drunk in public.

[I think the name of the road may be some sort of indication of this man's situation. And again with the drunk in public.]

At 5:30 a.m., a man called from the 12000 block of Oak Circle to report domestic violence. He said he was out drinking with a friend and when they returned home, his friend's wife hit him over the head with a porcelain doll. He said he was bleeding and required medical attention. A dispatcher could hear the woman in the background saying "bring it." She seemed very irate and was still causing a fight in the background. Deputies arrested the 26-year-old woman for battery of a cohabitant. They also arrested her 30-year-old husband for battery of a cohabitant and damaging telephone lines.

[They seem like a happy couple! Bring it! And we have more phone line crime.]

At 5:38 p.m., a woman called to report a man walking near Highway 20 and the PG&E camp at Bowman Lake. She thought the man might be thirsty. A deputy made contact with the man, who required a bottle of water and to be left alone. Water was given to the man and he was left alone.

[There is something just mystical about this. A man on a journey felt thirst and water arrived. Then he desired to be alone and was granted his solitude. But this is the police blotter, so we'll never know if he said something profound or found inner peace. All we can assume is that he had no outstanding warrants, had not been drinking, and that he was respectful of the local telephone equipment.]

Source: The Union (http://www.theunion.com/)